God's Wisdom on Display - Part 2

I remember sitting in a class on 1 and 2 Corinthians in college and realizing for the first time that God designed the church so there would be unity amongst diversity. I think then, I mostly saw that truth in the context of spiritual gifts - that he dispersed differing gifts to each member of the body for the benefit of the whole. Of course, that's a big part of it. But, I don't know that I really caught a glimpse of and began to experience the full benefit of a church living in true gospel unity until these past few years.

I Can't Grow Without Them

When we first came to CBC, we were eager to get involved in a community group. From the beginning, we loved the close fellowship the small group format afforded. It provided a quick way for us to get assimilated in our new church home. It didn't take me long though, to love community group not just for the practical reasons of friendship and opportunity for service, but because I realized that I honestly couldn't grow spiritually without it. And I mean that - I couldn't grow spiritually without community groups. That's a bold statement, so let me explain.

It has been said that Christian people are often educated far above their level of obedience. In fact, many churches follow an educational model of ministry that views its purpose to be primarily about teaching - Sunday School, Sunday Morning Worship, Sunday evening worship, and Wednesday evening service. Obviously preaching and teaching are vital. In the New Testament, Paul exhorts Timothy to "preach the Word." But, our functioning as a church goes beyond sitting in a pew and gaining more and more knowledge. James warns us, "Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says!" At some point, we have to start connecting the dots between what we believe and how it effects our lives on Monday morning when we're late for work, angry at our spouse, and overwhelmed by our to do list. If we aren't applying God's Word, James says we are in danger of being deceived. Deceived about what? Well, deceived about what we really look like spiritually. Deceived about our maturity and our growth in Christlikeness. And that's where I was a few years ago. I was well educated and versed in the Scriptures, but lagging behind in some significant ways because I wasn't equipped to skillfully apply God's Word to my life and wasn't benefiting from seeing others do it too. So I needed the application oriented nature of community groups to spotlight those dark corners of my heart that I didn't really want to deal with. But when I heard others humbly working through how fleshing out a certain truth from the previous week's sermon applied to them in their specific situation of widowhood, single-parenting, stressful work circumstances, or different ethinic context, the Holy Spirit chipped away at my pride and kept me from deceiving myself into thinking I'm not a desperately wicked sinner with a lot of baggage to boot too. And that environment created a humble, interdependence among us.

I'm thankful for a church where it's safe to be a sinner. I have needed the people in our community group these past years. I've needed their struggles, their transparency, and their gospel determination to grow. I have needed the benefit and sharpening effect week after week of living closely with people whom I have little to absolutely nothing else in common but Christ. I trust I am a more mature Christian now because sharing in their life experiences has had a completing effect on me and my spiritual perspective.

After a tearful prayer time during our last meeting a few weeks back, I looked around as people started to disperse. Jan was gathering plates and cups to throw away. Dave was taking out the trash and telling me he used the last trash bag, even reminding me I needed to get more by leaving the empty box on our counter. Carol was in the kitchen shutting off the oven I had absent mindedly left on for the past hour. I saw the beauty around me of a body selflessly caring for each other and realized we really were functioning like a family. We have spent the last several years together learning each other's preferences and carrying each other's heavy loads and it has made us love each other more than ourselves. That's true gospel unity.

I Can Sing Harmony With Them

We have been blessed to have the Taylor family as part of our community group for about 3 years and they have added a deeper dimension to our gathering. Hope became a fast friend and we have shared suffering and sins, triumphs and trip-ups more times than I can count. We've wept bitter tears because we know too well that life is a battlefield even starting at birth. But we've rejoiced in great healing grace since, although we aren't there yet, he's taking us there. And I've confessed to her any step forward I take in my sanctification is with a limp. She knows what I mean. She been around my heart a time or two and loves me still and keeps raising the banner.

She's of African decent with some Native American ancestry represented too. And in addition to everything else we've discussed, she and I, along with our community group as a whole on occasion, have had very candid conversations about ethnicity. So, Hope, my precious sister and dear heart-to-heart friend, this is for you.

Piper says he prefers the term racial harmony over racial reconciliation. And I have to agree with him. But what that doesn't mean is that the majority culture sings the lead and the minority culture finds the harmony. Girl, you've taught me that and I hope by now you can hear me in the harmony. Better yet, I hope you know I can play the background.

I was against racism before I met you. But you have given my fight against racism a face. Employees on the elevator can't ask you if your mammy put your hair in braids and expect me to take it. I'm not on their side just because my skin matches theirs. All our blood runs red and you and I have more in common because his red blood has run all over us. And so I listen and learn what it's like to be one of the only African American families in a white church. I hear Thabiti say, "It seems to me that the one thing my fellow White pastors routinely underestimate is the tremendous social and psychological costs African Americans pay to be a part of non-Black congregations." And I know you've counted the cost, my friend. You've taught me just as eloquently as Jasmine that black people aren't just black, but cinnamon, and chestnut, and bronze, and their eyes aren't just brown and their hair texture isn't just coarse.

So I'm proud when my baby girl draws a picture of an African American with hazel eyes and when she asks if your kids are her cousins. And some people say Christianity isn't about unity of the ethnicities, but if it's not about that what in the world is it about? Because the last I read, the gospel is being preached to all the nations so one big diverse throng will be gathered before Him on that glorious day when some will realize they might do away with affirmative action but God has never needed it. Guess we better get used to harmonizing because in heaven the Lamb is all the glory and we'll be playing background together with all of our fair and taupe, cinnamon, ebony, and beige hands raised to Him. And we'll cry:

“Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” (Revelation 7:10)

We've already started, you and me and Matt and Andre, Carol, Jim, Wes, Jan, and Daynah, Marcy, Mark, Phil, Nancy, Kim, Dave, Amanda, Betty, Liz, and Rachel. And although our song is about to have an interlude, there are more people he has in this city for you guys to reach and for us to reach in our new one. There are more barriers of sins like racism and self-centeredness that the gospel is going to obliterate because that's how powerful it is when we are on our 1-1-6. And I can't wait until we are reunited and can see how our family has grown! Then we'll be in our true home that he's preparing for us all - not in Michigan, not in Florida, but in heaven. Maybe Dave will still be taking out the trash and Carol and Jan will be helping in the kitchen. Regardless, there won't be any parting there, no sad good byes to share. And together we will be with the Lord forever!

 

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God's Wisdom on Display - Part 1

I don't mean to be melodramatic when I say that as each day passes, my heart gets heavier and the growing lump in my throat makes it harder to swallow. We're down to just three more Sundays at CBC. I can't even type those words without tears.

As I sort through things to pack, our possessions, although not worth much to many, I see tangible ways God's great love has been shown to us through his church. There are the clothes for our kids, a much loved CD, a favorite toy, many books, and the scarf I wore today...gifts from God's people to our family. Those small things are treasures to us because we treasure the people behind the gifts.

The couch with stains where Phil spilled his coffee, and our table where David copied down a phone number and the numbers transferred through his paper into our tabletop. The chairs Vin and Melissa sat in when they told us they were expecting Aurora. The sectional that's absorbed the jumps of Krisalyn and Olivia's little feet. Everywhere I look, I am reminded that our lives have been tied tightly and eternally with people God loves, has given us to love, and from whom we've received so much love. And it hurts to think of those ties being loosened by miles that will separate.

"God's intent was that now, through the church, [His] manifold wisdom might be made known." (Ephesians 3:10)

The church was a marvelous plan - God's plan - to put His wisdom on display. These past years at CBC, we have been blown away by the numerous times and ways God has shown us how wise he is. We've had front row seats seeing God at work in people's lives. There's nothing more exciting than being part of God's church. What a privilege it is to be married to a pastor and help him do the work of the ministry. More often than not, after church people leave our house for one thing or another, I want to crank up "Behold Our God" and fall down in worship before him. He is good. And loving. And powerful. And wise. We've seen it over and over and it never stops making our jaws drop and our fingers point to the God who alone does great wonders.

So, as these next weeks wind down, I hope to highlight just a few ways God has used CBC to put His wisdom on display for our family, so you too can behold our great God!

Here are a few things from our service today.

Matt's friend and Cassie's husband, Carl, got baptized today. Carl is a former athiest whose life has started being drastically changed by the gospel these past six months. You should hear this guy articulate the gospel and see his passion for Christ's glory!

Buried in his likeness...

And raised to walk in newness of life! "Go 'Acts' on the world, Carl!" (Inside joke. But, if you've read the book of Acts, you'll get it!)

And Nolan, a college student, joined our church in membership today. When many of his peers are leaving the faith, he sees the importance of choosing the right road, at this crossroads of his life.

Our God is indeed great!

 

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A Recap of ReNEW

I spent this past weekend in FL at Keystone Bible Church's ladies retreat, "Renew," featuring Elyse Fitzpatrick as the keynote speaker. Let me just say these women love to have a good time, they love to be together, and they love to learn God's Word.

A few things I observed:

1) Jesus is building His church. I was thrilled to see our dear friends, Andrew and Vivian Haney, and their spiritually healthy church, growing under Andrew's capable leadership to over a few hundred people now from the 7 members they had when they arrived in Odessa almost 8 years ago. Their church is a wonderful blend of backgrounds with people at all stages in their spiritual growth process, fighting sin and loving God and each other for His glory. Of course, it made it easy to love these ladies because I saw how much they love my more-like-my-sister-than-friend, Vivian.

2) Few have mastered gospel-centeredness like Elyse Fitzpatrick (or maybe I should say, few have been mastered by gospel-centeredness like Elyse Fitzpatrick). I marveled at the thoroughness the gospel has effected every area of her life. I listened to her expound precious gospel truths and they became sweeter to me as I drank in all I could that I too might know them better!

3) I need to keep letting the law do its work in my heart pushing me to Jesus. I am too skilled in self-justification. When we were having a small group discussion after Elyse's first session and discussing our inability to keep God's commands, one of the ladies in our group said, "I might be able to keep these commands for 10 minutes but certainly not my whole life!" I thought to myself that this lady had missed the point! But then I saw my own efforts in her words and knew what she said was actually the sad commentary of MY spiritual life. How much more I need to abandon my own efforts and embrace the truth that "the strength to follow His commands could never come from me!" Not for 10 minutes, not for 5, and graciously not even for 1! I need a Savior who did it perfectly ALL the time.

4) Each of us needs to be much more acquainted with the gospel. If you have a voice, talk about it! Speak of it all day long to yourself and to any who will listen. Even sing about it! If you have a mind, think about it! Turn it over and over and over in your head, discovering all its glorious nuances and how it can renew the way you think in gospel categories. If you have a blog, write about it! We need more people spreading the good news through the written word of how it is changing them and the way they parent and the way they work! If you have a heart, let it go to work on your affections, transforming what you love and why you love and how you love. If you have a will, let it chisel away at your bent toward selfishness and self-glory and revel in the freedom of self-forgetfulness and God-centeredness that the gospel grants you. As Elyse Fitzpatrick pointed out, "We are so dull of hearing and understanding." So we need to keep hearing the gospel, rehearsing the gospel, and applying the gospel.

Thank you, ladies, for a wonderful weekend together. The gospel changes everything! And it is changing US!

 

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Take That, Cleopatra

Lancelot had Guinevere

Scarlett O’Hara needed Rhett

Elizabeth humbled Mr. Darcy

Romeo loved Juliet

 

Immortalized forever

Though their creators turned to dust

Archetypes of passion

But they could never be us

 

To Solomon, the Shulamite

Luther found Von Bora

Antony had Cleopatra

Lewis was surprised by Joy

 

Lovers real as sand or sea

Their vows of love yet repercuss

Still remembered when we’re forgotten

But they could never be us

 

They may see romantic vistas

Paris, Venice, Santorini Island

They may vow forever pledges

Sealed with roses, wine, and diamonds

 

What we know they’ve never dreamed

Their sun will never reach our solstice

They may be a lot of things

But they could never be us

-MJO, 2012

 

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An Example of Preaching the Gospel to Yourself

Horatio Spafford, author of the well-known hymn, "It is Well with My Soul," knew that his life was a portrait of grace. He and his wife Anna, served God faithfully through the big, small, and unexpected events of their lives. When they were blessed with five children, they gave thanks to the Lord and followed him in joy. And when their only son died to scarlet fever, they continued to follow the Lord even in sorrow. This untimely death of their son, would mark the beginning of "sorrows like sea billows" rolling through their lives.

Mr. Spafford was a successful and wealthy attorney, but their lives were consumed with ministry. When they lost most of their investment property and financial resources in the Great Chicago Fire of the 1870s, instead of selfishly despairing, they served their now homeless neighbors, providing food and care for their grief-stricken friends.

As they recovered from the tradgedies of the months prior, an oppotunity arose for the Spaffords to travel to England for a vacation. While they were there, they planned to assist their friend D.L. Moody, in his evangelism efforts. Some unexpected business detained Mr. Spafford, so he sent his four daughters and wife before him, commiting to join them in England as soon as he could.

Midway through their voyage, the ship was struck by another vessel crossing the Atlantic. The Spaffords' daughters perished in the sinking ship in spite of their mother's efforts to save them. When Mr. Spafford got word, he immediately set sail to join his wife.

As Spafford's ship apprached that dreadful location where the sea had swallowed up his precious girls, Spafford looked at those waters and preached the gospel to himself. He wrote:

1. "Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul."

Although he was weighed down with unimaginable grief, the good news of Jesus assured him that though all was very wrong around him, all was still well within him. By faith that made all the difference.

So, even today, we too must affirm that every river of peace and wave of sorrow we experience flow together by God's sovereign storm-calming hand to assure us of His unwavering faithfulness. In those all too frequent moments when it feels that our souls will surely give way under the pressures of life, with the eyes of faith, we must look to the cross and remember that our greatest trial - separation from God - has been removed and dealt with in Jesus. "Praise The Lord, praise The Lord, O my soul!"

 

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Christmas and the Success of Missions

Praying for a missionary friend in Africa to have safety out of South Sudan and for some workers in Central Asia to continue to have open doors for the gospel, my heart burst with hope yesterday morning when the kids and I huddled around our daily Advent reading. (For weeks now we've been having picnic breakfasts on the floor circling the vent in our living room. For some reason the dining room table - just a few feet away - seems so cold and the chairs so far apart. And we need to be close. We need to bond in the warmth of together before we have to go our separate ways out in the bitterness of the frigid world.)

Jesus, "a light for the Gentiles." (Luke 2:32) The Holy Spirit gave Simeon just what Jesus' parents needed to hear that day. I know the proud parent look. But their look wasn't tinged with all the bias a mother boasts. Their eyes were opened to see beyond the world they knew so well. Theirs was a penitent gaze of worshipful awe hearing again who their Son was and what he would one day do. This child, in the Jewish temple, already fulfilling all righteousness according to the Law of Moses, would reach far outside the bounds of Israel with his ministry. As a matter of fact, his light of hope would shine so brightly, all nations would see it.

And I marveled again that Christmas is all about the success of missions. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, under the law, to redeem those under the law, he was making a way for the Gentiles to glorify God for his mercy.

“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name.”

And again it is said, “Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people.”

And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and let all the peoples extol him.”

And again Isaiah says, “The root of Jesse will come, even he who arises to rule the Gentiles; in him will the Gentiles hope.” (Romans 15:9-12)

So, this Christmas, dear exhausted, fearful, lonely, sorrowful, homesick, missionary friends, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13)

Hallelujah! Light Has Come!

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Happy Birthday

to you.

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Believing Thomas

[Thomas] said to [the other disciples], “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Then [Jesus] said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; but blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:25, 27-29)

Too often I can relate to the infamously nicknamed "Doubting Thomas" in the verses above -- the one who needed to see before he believed.

But I knew a Thomas who believed without seeing. He believed Jesus was all he claimed to be and did all he claimed to do because that's what the Bible taught and that was enough. He believed those things with some questions still unanswered and some hopes still unfulfilled.

Not anymore though. Today he sees face to face.

He knew there was a seeing with the eyes of his heart first that was more important than seeing with his physical eyes. And I know he'd want me to tell you, as well, to, "[S]ee that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:8)

Happy 53rd Birthday, to the uncle who pulled my first loose teeth, showed me how to rake leaves, and most importantly, taught me how to walk by faith.

Thomas Robert Neuhart

October 8, 1960 - October 2, 2013

Uncle Tommy and Aunt Brenda with Ruby in 2008

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Be Still, My Soul

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Growing Love and Growing Up

Photo: Zachery David Photography

I watch your long sun-kissed arms gracefully comb through your sandy brown hair. You evaluate your face in the mirror and ask about plucking your eyebrows. Then you strike a pose, looking back at yourself, and ask me what I think of that "look."

I try not to panic as the stage of "tween" has now entered our lives. We moms resist labels that claim our kids. But at least it helps me know where we're headed and make a plan for how to get there and beyond. Because really there's no getting there and back. From the two lines on the pregnancy stick to now, the lines keep moving forward.

I try to stop the camera shutter of my mind from getting stuck on the image of that round, bald baby girl looking back at me, brown eyes all aglow - the first eyes that lit up when they met mine. Because I loved you so much then and I never want to forget those precious years. But I can't let myself stay there. So, I adjust my view to the growing girl I see in the mirror today and renew my commitment to love you now, as an eight-year-old, and all that means for the next twelve months.

I have a feeling I'll have to keep doing that in the years ahead. It wasn't so hard to love you when the rewards were high. Yes, the work was intense, but the coos and kisses, celebrations of developmental milestones, sweet tangled words and I admit, my level of control over your life, helped get me through those early years. But things are quickly changing and my love has to mature along with you.

I've heard many wives put it this way, "I thought I loved him when we first got married, but now I realize I had no clue what love was. The depth of my love for him now doesn't even compare to that early love we had." And I fear as a parent, I too face a similar temptation to love you in a shallow, self-focused way. Like with every other area of my life, I have to remind myself that parenting, and our relationship, isn't about how it makes me look and feel.

So, you're stuck with my love and all the manifestations it must take through the years to help you on to God. If you disrespect me, and use words I never dreamed could come out of that mouth I used to spoon feed, I'll love you still. And if you hurt the reputation of our family by falling into temptations we taught you to resist, I'll love you still. And if you question and doubt the God you so easily profess and follow now, I'll love you still. Because as you grow up, I have to put your childish ways - the ones I love to linger over - behind me and love and treat you like the age you are, not the age I might wish you still were.

My growing love has to warn you then, Stella Grace, that the world wants you to grow up in all the wrong ways. I watch your peers and those just a few years older than you walk around the mall or down the street and see what they think it means. They believe they can have the revealing look and lifestyle without the heartbreaking consequences. The money without the hard work. The scholarship without the training. The relationships without the commitment. The privileges without the responsibility.

But I agree with the writer of Hebrews and "expect better things in your case, things that have to do with salvation...to show diligence to the very end [even through the t(w)een years!], so that what you hope for may be fully realized. [N]ot to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." (Hebrews 6:9,11,12)

So, this is one way I show love to you at age eight: I speak the truth to you and tell you real growing up is growing in every way to be more and more like Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)

Now grow, Sweet Girl! I mean really grow. Because when growing up is defined in those terms, how could I even want to hold you back?

 

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Happy 4th of July!

Presidents from Erica Owen on Vimeo.

 

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Breaking Molds and Taking Numbers

Zachery David Photography

When your birthday rolls around every year and I ponder the focus of my post for you, I notice that the opening line in my head is always the same, "Oh, Ruby!" But after I recover from the initial exasperation I feel, I'm eventually able to collect some thoughts. Your dad and I laughed together about my inclination and I wondered to him if that's one reason God commands parents not to exasperate their children...because children so take the wind out of their parents' sails, it makes sense our temptation would be to respond in kind. And boy do we need supernatural help not to! Whew. Christian parenting is all of grace!

So, Ruby Jean, now that your Mama has caught her breath, I do have a few things to say to you on this milestone birthday.

I guess this post could be a sequel to your birthday post from a year ago. More kicking over icons and helping you derive your identity from Scripture. That's the way you roll. Breaking molds and taking numbers.

As we observed a sporting event not too long ago, I heard a Christian say something to the effect, "It's okay if girls aren't aggressive in sports because according to the Bible women aren't supposed to be aggressive." That statement rubbed me the wrong way when I heard it and as I've thought more about it I realize how strongly I disagree. Don't get me wrong. It's one thing if our kids, boys or girls, don't excel in athletics because they just aren't into getting elbowed or kicked or hit with the ball or don't have the ability or coordination to be competitive. But the statement went beyond that.

Yes, I've read the verses commending a gentle and quiet spirit in women, but gentleness doesn't mean weakness and quietness doesn't mean passivity. I would argue that it in fact takes assertiveness, and even aggression, to conquer those rebel powers that would incline a woman to respond otherwise. And, as I mentioned last year, that's the problem I have with some teaching I've heard targeting Christian women. It holds up a personality quality as the goal not a divine work of the Spirit. That kind of teaching goes beyond Scripture and turns into a form of oppressing women instead of freeing them to depend on their standing before God in Christ as the basis for their ability to bear fruit in keeping with His Spirit - like the fruit of gentleness. Which, by the way, is a fruit men should be bearing too.

So, Baby Girl, get this straight. Jesus doesn't want to give you a different personality. He wants to give you a new heart. His Spirit will soften you and change you in marvelously unexpected ways. But, He's made you aggressive, and although it's exhausting now, I don't want you to lose your fight because you think that's what Christian women do at a certain point in their sanctification process. Make no mistake, God wants Christian women to be aggressive. These are just a few ways it shows.

1) Christian women kill sin.

You can't miss the overwhelming number of commands in Scripture given to the entire body of Christ, men and women alike, telling us to conquer and fight. We are in a war and need to have what John Piper calls a "wartime mentality."

"Until you believe that life is war – that the stakes are your soul – you will probably just play at Christianity with no bloodearnestness and no vigilance and no passion and no wartime mindset...There is a mean, violent streak in the true Christian life! But violence against whom, or what? Not other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in us that would be violent to other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in our own selves that would make peace with our own sin and settle in with a peacetime mentality. It's a violence against all lust in ourselves, and enslaving desires...Christianity is not a settle-in-and-live-at-peace-with-this-world-the-way-it-is kind of religion. If by the Spirit you kill the deeds of your own body, you will live. Christianity is war. On our own sinful impulses." (How to Kill Sin, Part 2)

Use your aggression, Tough Girl, to make war in the right ways and against the right things!

2) Christian women boldly give the gospel.

"Missionary life is simply a chance to die." Amy Carmichael, Missionary to India

As your mom, I had mixed emtions seeing the intensity with which you watched the Frontline Missions DVD during our Community Group meeting in December. It was hard to watch because the radical call of taking the gospel to the nations is portrayed accurately. But you gazed at that TV with barely a blink. I knew the risk of it all was appealing to you and even though you may have a lump in your throat from fear, you were drawn to the possibility of putting it all on the line for the greatest cause.

That's pretty typcial. You seem to leave your hard-core game on the floor in your short sports career and in life in general. You scored a couple goals this past soccer season although you were quite a bit smaller and younger than most of your opponets. But what made us most proud was one of your conversations off the field with your new friend and teammate. You asked him if he knew Jesus. Your dad and I smiled at the irony of your unregenerate evangelistic zeal, but also noticed what this reveals about your boldness. You don't shy away from confrontation. We love that fire and pray God will make you a righteous woman who's as bold as a lion for Him!

We only half-jokingly say about you, "This girl's going to do something big. It's just a matter of whether it will be good or bad, at this point." But then we comfort ourselves with the reality that we have great hope in God concerning you and entrust your little flash of blond hair and blue eyes and muscle bound legs to the One who's stronger still. You're always safe with Him. And that's why, although still with a fearful lump in this Mama's throat, we eagerly anticipate the day you too will embrace your chance to die for His glory to be revealed to the nations.

3) Christian women exercise dominion.

God wants Christian women to play their position aggressively. As you grow up in Post-Christian America, it's going to get blurrier and blurrier exactly what that looks like even in the so-called church. So be tethered to the ultimate Authority on ths subject. Don't let culture set your plays.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

Mark Chanski writes in his book Womanly Dominion:

"[A] woman is to dominate aggressively her environment, rather than allow her environment to dominate her. She needs to work and play with a win it instead of with a surrender it mindset. She must rule and subdue rather than letting herself be ruled and subdued. God has commissioned her to assert herself aggressively as a master over the teeming spheres of her life. God has not assigned her to sit on her porch swing with a pink parasol daydreaming what she might do "if only" the obstacles weren't so complicated. No! She's to get out there and do it with all her might!"

Imitate God by ruling and dominating. Play His position for you by helping make this earth His footstool.

So, you're 5-years-old now, Ruby Jean! You have another year to keep running fast and fighting aggressively. And maybe this is the year the One who broke the mold when He made you, will take hold of you and give you something that's really worth running toward and fighting for!

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This Man

We're still celebrating the gift of this man today.

And I've gotten to love this man for 11 years now.

On Saturday, we got to hear this man speak at the Memorial Service for the thousands of babies who lost their lives at 4132 Schaefer in Dearborn during the 20 years the facility was in business until it closed in April of this year.

"No one ever spoke the way this man does," the guards replied [about Jesus]. (John 7:46)

And this man knows he is merely that Man's mouthpiece.

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A Father's Heart

I held it like it was you, that red crochet heart. It hung on my bed post reminding me you were out there, just not here. And how can a 7-year-old reconcile that?

Mom said you loved me and I wanted to believe her. But tears soaked my pillow many nights that second grade year, because if you loved me, where were you?

Sometimes a mom can love enough for a mom and a dad. She did. And she'd sit with me and tell me about you. Good things, actually. It made me smile to hear you were voted "Most Popular" by your eighth grade class. I thought it was cool that you sang in a high school rock band. And my friends now would laugh to know that you worked in your family owned bakery since there's little I hate more than baking. I'd replay those few facts I knew about you over and over in my mind acting like you were familiar and hoping that would change reality.

When I was brave, I'd look at the picture taken on one of the last visits I had with you when I was three. It's of us sitting in a bean bag, reading a book. I'd imagine what it would be like to feel your reassuring arm around me again. I couldn't remember and I knew a little girl needed a strong arm to steady her in this scary world. But all I really had was that red crochet heart you sent me one Valentine's Day.

And it's not just that we didn't have you, but it's who we got in your place. We got more heartache and pain. But when he was gone, Mom got Jesus, and we said you can have all this world - with families good and bad - as long as we could keep Him.

He never left us. Never hurt us. Never went back on His word. He was perfect. I know. I read it and couldn't pull my eyes off the page. I underlined over and over all of those promises He made to the fatherless. And I started to believe them. I started to believe I could trust Him. That I had found the perfect Dad. Or rather that He had heard and found me! "If [the fatherless] cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry." (Exodus 22:23) He rescued me and quieted me with His love just like I knew a Father's heart should.

And He keeps hearing. When I enrolled in a Christian college that was clearly unprepared to deal with me and my Gen-X baggage, and was harassed by my admissions counselor because I couldn't provide your address or any information about you, I cried out and He heard. Then in Freshman Orientation when the Vice President piled up statistics about being doomed to repeat the cycle of dysfunction if you were from a broken home like I could be scared out of sinning but would always be a second class Christian, I cried out and He heard. And when a girl in my dorm approached me like I was wearing a scarlet letter and said, "Do [the young man's] parents know he's dating you? I mean, my dad would never let me date someone from your kind of background," I cried out and He heard. And when I pulled out my birth certificate a couple months ago and saw the line under "Father's Name" staring back at me blank and bare like I didn't even have one, I cried out wondering how my heart could buckle so quickly under the weight of something that's empty, and He heard.

The thing about the past is that it doesn't stay put. It comes with you and you have to keep dealing with it. That's something we have in common, right? But because Jesus has dealt with it, we can too.

A few years ago when we talked for the first time in over thirty years, I told you like I've indicated here, that our life was hard without you, but that I didn't have grievances to air, only a message of hope and forgiveness to share. And that's the case today.

And even though you still say you want to talk soon but have fallen short again, I understand and so does Adam. He fell first and dads and moms have been doing the same thing ever since.

Even though at one time I wanted more than anything to be known as your daughter, to have my last name be yours, I've found security in a Heavenly Father who has demonstrated His heart of love for me in this, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. And my acceptance into His family doesn't require a certain pedigree or family heritage. He doesn't require a specific bloodline because His love for me and you is based on the precious blood of His Son, who by the way knows a little about being born into the shame of scandal. I guess I'm in good company, after all.

Stella's question caught me off guard earlier this week as we were picking out a Father's Day card for Matt. She asked if I was getting a card for you. I never have, but maybe this can be it. And maybe you and others like us will read it. So, from a daughter's heart that has been radically changed by the overwhelming love of her Father, let me show you His heart. He loves reckless sinners with a reckless, profuse love. Our wild living is no match for His forgiveness. In fact, He meets our sin with extravagant grace. I know because I've experienced it!

“[W]hile [I] was still a long way off, [my] father saw [me] and was filled with compassion for [me]; he ran to [me], [and] threw his arms around [me] and kissed [me].
“[He] said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on h[er]. Put a ring on h[er] finger and sandals on h[er] feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this [daughter] of mine was dead and is alive again; [s]he was lost and is found.’ So [we] began to celebrate." (Luke 15:20, 22-24)

The Father's looking for you too, ready to open His heart of compassion and arms of love and meet you where you are. There's nothing more I pray for you this Father's Day than for you to know Him. I can imagine Father's Day is difficult for you. But this one can be different. It can be filled with the joy of new life, a changed heart, repentance, and restoration! And so, tomorrow I wish you, Dad, a Father's Day worth celebrating!

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A Statement of Faith for a Step of Faith

"Our home is a home where hope in Jesus is realized in an atmosphere echoing the grace and love we've received from Him. We aren't perfect, but Jesus is, so we look to Him long and often through His Word and find what we need to get through life in this fallen world. We are happy, not because of all we've seen and done, but because of all Jesus has done for us. We are satisfied and secure, not because we have everything we want, but because He has provided everything we need. We believe there is no greater gift we can give our children than dazzling them with the good news of Jesus and living our lives basking in that good news too."

We recently wrote a Statement of Faith for our family, excerpted in part above. It was another means for us to preach the gospel to ourselves and remember the gospel isn't just a doorway we walk through when we first believe, but the pathway on which we continue each step of our spiritual journey. What we believe about the Bible and Jesus really is connected to all of life. To put it in familiar terms, our doctrine effects our deportment and our creed our conduct.

And we'll need to keep remembering that these next months as our family takes a step of faith, asking Him to bring another baby into this imperfect but always-receiving-better-than-we-deserve home through the means of adoption. We welcome a new little one to see the Savior we worship and exalt. We long to lavish heartfelt love on a child because our Father has loved us just like He loves Jesus and has made us joint-heirs with Him. Our blessed position continually humbles us and has compelled us to respond to the great love He has poured out in our hearts. We have much to learn as we walk this often unpredictable path. Already our illusions of parental control are being shattered. We are resting in God who has always been the one sovereignly placing just the right children in our home with certain dispositions, skills, propensities toward particular sins, and each uniquely bearing His glorious image.

Like the times we've received the positive sign on a pregnancy test, we've again received a positive indicator. This time, though, from an agency stating our informal and formal online applications have been received and accepted, and our paperwork is being processed for their Domestic Infant Adoption Program.

So, we are expecting...expecting God to glorify Himself in our hearts, our extended family, our church, our community of friends, and in the life of the baby whom we cannot wait to give our love, our name, and the investment of our lives. Will you consider laboring with us to deliver this little one into our family?

"My soul, wait only on God; for my expectation is from him." (Psalm 62:5)

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This is probably the only adoption related post we will blog about here. We are establising a separate webpage for our adoption process where updates will be posted as well as fundraising opportunities. We'll let you know when that page is complete!

 

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These Four Walls

It's a fitting end to our homeschool year. I just got off the phone with the mom of one of Stella's unsaved friends from soccer. She invited us over for a playdate. That phone call was fruit of our feeble attempts to reach out. Well, actually more like Stella's efforts reaching out. She would lie awake at night last fall burdened for her friend on her soccer team who didn't know Jesus. She'd pray for her. And at the end of the season she wanted to invite her to church. So I helped her write out our church information on a slip of paper so she could give it to her. Then this spring soccer season, Matt and I followed Stella's lead and tried to get to know her mom and dad better.

It's funny because this whole homeschool thing from our perspective has never been so much about being within these four walls of our home. I know I can wrongly think these four walls are a fortress of protection against the world and if I can just inculcate our kids enough and micromanage their influences they will be safe from worldliness. But with one angry word and selfish action I see their hearts and remember that the world is in there, not out there. And there's no wall big enough to save them from themselves. There's no mom wise enough and no dad strong enough to dominate their rebel hearts into submission. But "if they are among those whom God has chosen for eternal life, Jesus will have them as His subjects." (Starr Meade) So it's not about my kingdom on Keppen. It's about King Jesus' kingdom and how we fit into His reign.

And I'm preaching this to myself over and over and over. Because how can I hold these dear ones loosely when all I want to do is hold them closely? How can I convince myself they've never really been mine, but His to steward, when with each step they take away from me I have to restrain myself from chasing them down and bringing them back near? How can I give them life and then gladly lay down my life for them? This task of mothering is for women of steel and I'm just weak and vulnerable.

When I'm about to be overcome with grief and give way to the crisis of my identity, I remember a Father who saw His Son walk away from Him for the promise of something better. The covenant conversation from Isaiah 53 between God the Father and God the Son comforts me. "If you give your soul as an offering for sin, I will give you a people." So it pleased the Father to let Him go. It satisfied Him to see His Son suffer among the transgressors because of what it was accomplishing - bringing many more sons and daughters to glory.

I'm reminded God doesn't ask anything of me He hasn't already done for me. Perfect obedience positionally and grace to obey practically are mine. So I can let them grow and go because He's in control of them, working His own good purposes to expand His kingdom. And ultimately, I really do want them to follow Him, not me. I want them to hear His voice, and for it to be more familiar and precious than mine. I want them to come to know His gentle arms when they need comforted and trust His strong hand when they're used to reaching up for mine.

A wise woman builds her house. But she's wiser still if she remembers the four walls of it are but a small part of the much bigger kingdom He is building.

 

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Living in Community

Means crumbs in your couch and satisfied souls! For the record, the latter is definitely worth the clean up of the former. Now just remind me of that during the five o'clock mad dash as we get ready for groups! :)

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New Friday Night Tradition...

Camping out in Schaeffer's room!

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I Thought I Was Safe

Last week I enjoyed laughing at the comical ways Stella's peers described their moms and thought since I'm the teacher I was safe from those embarrassing exposures. Then Sunday came. Stella's Sunday school teacher had her class fill out one of those handy dandy questionnaires about their moms.

Apparently my favorite thing to wear is the same clothes for two days. I guess even MORE laundry is in my future now!

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