Been There, Done That

The latest Planned Parenthood campaign, strategically released a week before the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, is clever. Clever, but still not true. Propagandized with a reasonable punch, but still lacking substance.

The organization is attempting to do away with the labels "Pro-Choice" and "Pro-Life." Well, actually, it's mostly just trying to eradicate the word "life" from the argument so as to blur the lines between the two camps. It wants to portray those who stand against abortion as uncaring and judgmental and as being pro-life "in a bubble;" ignoring the paramount problems some pregnant women face. "After all," they imply, "how can you really have an objective opinion about the matter if you aren't in the woman's situation and have never 'walked in her shoes'?"

Before we get too shamed into shying away from our stand for life, let us remember a few things.

1) In our human experience, the temptations and trials we face are diverse. In other words, there are many different kinds of hard times we go through. With regard to the trials of pregnancy, it can be unexpected and unwanted. It can be a result of rape, incest, an uncommitted relationship, or just an inconvenient conception between a married couple or two committed, but unmarried, people. It can involve health risks for the mother and health complications with the baby. There are the financial issues to consider regarding prenatal and postnatal health care for both the mother and the child. And then, of course, there's the looming financial obligation to support the child once he/she is born. Varied troubles.

2) But even among such a diversity of trials just on this one topic, they are still common to us all. Has any woman you've known been through a pregnancy that put a serious strain on her health? Have you ever known a woman to have a "surprise" and even "unwanted" pregnancy? Do you know a woman who has given birth to a special needs child? Are there women in your circle of friends who have been violated by rape or suffered other heinous sexual abuse? Has anyone you know had to get extra jobs to pay for health care costs for his/her child? Have you ever known a child to put serious financial strain on a family? Has a child ever changed the trajectory of a parent's vocational path?

No doubt, you can probably answer yes to some of these questions for yourself, and definitely for those in your circle of closest friends. Admittedly, what makes the issue so complicated is that many of these diverse trials can be combined into one overwhelming circumstance for some women. But even those desperate situations are common. That's why on Tuesday, I shared my and my mom's story.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

So then, do we stand for life as uncaring and ignorant of the hardships? Not at all. Our common experiences personally and observed through our friends, acquaintances, and loved ones should, and I hope do, make us more patient, more approachable, more heartbroken, more capable of reaching out to offer comfort, and more willing to sacrifice for the good of others.

3) While our shared experiences mean a lot, it's Someone else's experience that means everything.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:15,16)

As one of my favorite songs puts it, "He walked my road and He felt my pain, joys and sorrows that I know so well. Yet His righteous steps give me hope again. I will follow my Emmanuel."

Jesus did walk in our shoes, facing our common trials and struggles and handling each one with absolute, God-satisfying perfection. He empathizes with, meaning He feels and understands, what we're going through, because He has been through it too. We are able, then, to approach God for wisely and generously distributed grace and mercy to help us in our time of need!

So, too, we are free to stand for life with understanding compassion because of similar difficulties we've encountered, and mostly because of divine help we can offer from the One who walked our path and hers.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Join me next week for a post on the issue of ministering to post-abortive women.

Nobody Said Choosing Life Was Easy

On this 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court's landmark decision legalizing abortion on demand in all fifty states, I want to publicly thank my mom for choosing life. In doing so, I am in no way criticizing birth mothers who choose life and bravely made an adoption plan for their baby. I am also not degrading those who had an abortion and have lived with regret and remorse. I hope to write more on that later in the week. And, I am certainly not advocating that the biblical view of the married two parent family can be set aside because it's old fashioned and unnecessary in the 21st century.

What I do hope to show is that grace is greater than sin.

When I stand outside the abortion clinic in Dearborn, I see the young girls and women who pull in, alone, desperate, conflicted, and down right terrified, and imagine an 18-year-old named Jodie feeling those same things. I see one light a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling a few times, hoping to draw some courage from the nicotine to take the next few steps. I see her glance around at us there on the sidewalk, ready to offer help, and turn her head away quickly so as not to meet our eyes. Then I see her get out of her car, throw her cigarette on the ground, extinguish it with her foot, and set her gaze on the entrance door. As we call out to her, I know she wants to believe what we're saying is true. I know she wants to believe that there are other options. That even though her life will be hard, she can make it. That she really isn't alone. But she keeps moving forward anyway, trying to silence the voices. About ready to reach out for the door handle, she abruptly turns around, running back to the car with tears streaming down her face. It seems she changed her mind! She starts her car and speeds out of the parking lot.

That might seem like a happy ending. And, indeed, it certainly is for the most important chapter. But the story is nowhere near over and so I weep for her still. Because even if she chooses life and to raise her baby, I know how incredibly hard it's going to be for her. I know the jobs she'll have to settle for just to make ends meet. I know the social life she'll give up, because really, who wants to date a girl who admits she has a 1-year-old at home? I know the academic and vocational dreams that will be put on hold, some permanently, because her attention will be divided. I know the family tensions that will be present because of the constantly pressing need to find childcare and, at some points, even housing. I know the financial strain that will weigh on her day in and day out. And I know because Jodie did choose life. She allowed me to be born alive - not dead - as she could've easily done in her circumstances in 1975. And God has shown me much grace through that scared and lonely teen mom, who allowed me to take my first breath.

Not only did she give me life, but she also sustained my life. I don't believe we are captive to the doom and gloom statistics I hear regarding babies born out of unwanted pregnancies, because I believe in a God who is sovereign over statistics. He can take desperate situations and heart breaking realities and weave a beautiful tapestry, sewn with a blood-red thread, pointing to the cross that breaks the power of sin and death. He can turn the hearts of the mothers toward their children, motivated with all the natural affection common grace can offer. And I know because God did that for us. 

My mom taught me many good things precisely because of our difficult circumstances. I would not have learned these hard lessons to the same degree otherwise.

1) There is something worse than taking nine years to complete your undergrad degree. Many women have climbed the corporate ladder successfully, stepping on toes all the way up. For some women, the most injured in the process, aren't the co-workers they've jilted and undermined to get where they are. At the bottom of the corporate ladder are thousands of babies, crushed underfoot, as their moms chose their death over the potential death of their career. 

My mom's climb was incremental and slow, but as a successful business woman at age 55, she's shown me that pragmatism is no way to live your life. It's good to have big dreams, but not at all costs. She taught me it not only matters where you end up, but how you get there. And I got to have a small part in her climb.

While most parents were pulling all-nighters helping their kids complete last minute projects (and believe me, we did that too!), I was proofreading her papers. Every weekend seemed to be "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" for us. When she worked in accounting, I'd help her sort checks in numerical order, count change from the vending machines, and any other small task that would help her get it all done. I remember staying up into the wee hours to help her complete a huge project for her marketing class. Who knows how many magazines we scoured and cut our way through looking for examples of different advertising layouts. 

Mom taught me it's good to reach the top, but it's even better to get there the right way.

2) You can choose life precisely because of the Women's Rights Movement. They want you to believe having a baby will ruin you, but it is that equality for women that allows you to give birth and still have opportunity. Anne-Marie Slaughter might be right that Women Still Can't Have It All, but that doesn't mean they can't have anything. Her article was fairly pro-family for a feminist writer, but still, I shudder to think how many abortions it set in motion. Even if the "arc of a successful career" isn't just right, or in my mom's case, is completely wrong, chances are, you still have a good shot at success. 

3) Life is hard. I knew about interpersonal struggles, financial problems, death, and abandonment at a young age. My naive, rose-colored glasses of adolescence weren't in place for long. But that has been a good thing. I was under no impression that my ultimate hope was in this world. I knew how messed up it was. And in time, as God showed me where true hope could be found, I appreciated even more the bright promise of eternal life against the dark backdrop of this sinful world I knew.

So as my mom taught me, we too want our kids to know sin, in their own hearts first, has consequences. We want them to see that sin makes life hard. We even want them to see us struggle through sin and argue from time to time. Because in our marriages, families, and churches we need people who don't blush at sin.  Who aren't shocked by it, and who don't ignore, minimize, or hide it, but know how to deal with it. We need people who are less prone to throw the first stone and more prone to see the Physician came, not for the well, but for the terminally sin-sick. And that's all. of. us. We need people to love God and others much because they realize they are the ones who have been forgiven much. 

4) You can be your child's friend. It has been said that teen moms and their kids grow up together. In some sense that's true. And there are advantages to it. Like sharing clothes, shoes, and make-up! But really, in all honesty, I liked being with Mom. She told me "no" on the important things, but she also said "yes" to a lot of unimportant things. She didn't parent for my approval, but she also didn't distance herself from me. We were a team. "Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us, you and I," we'd sing in the car together. And my friends would envy our closeness as she and I would sing what we called "our song," Huey Lewis' "Happy to be Stuck With You." We even had our own choreographed hand motions to go along with it.

5) Grace overcomes guilt. Being a mom is a guilt-laden profession. I've said before, I'm only seven and a half years into it and already have a long list of regrets. I can't imagine what it must feel like to start out with the cards stacked against you, so to speak, and to be fighting an uphill battle.

But, I've seen grace abound where sin abounded. I've seen joy and peace surface where there was none before. And I've seen a mother and daughter emerge from the battle, scarred and wounded, but hand in hand, because God offers forgiveness. And, to be honest, even those wounds are sweet, because they tell of His protection when Satan would've been pleased to devour us. They point to His power to seek and save, and keep what is His, at all costs. Even His own life. And because of that very good news, Mom and I can face our past, each other, and the future, through the power of His indestructible life. 

Life. That's what this day is about. Life here and now. Fight for it. Give it. Sustain it. And eternal life to come. Preach it to yourself first, then share it with the world who so desperately needs saved from all this death.

Here Today

I know I'm a few years late to the party, but I've recently been reading Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience. She helped us have one of the most anticipatory Advent seasons to date. This woman is nothing if not passionate. And looking at her photographs actually makes me wish I lived on a farm. Wow. That's saying something. But I think it's just for the farmhouse. :)

A few weeks ago she revealed her name for the new year. I like that idea. A name for 2013 to keep my focus. A name to help me be intentional. A name to motivate. A name in her words, "as we name our newborn...so we know who it is to us. Named, we now have a destination, a way across the next twelve months."

So, after some consideration (after all, naming something is a big deal!), I've named 2013 Today. 

Because today is full of provision, problems, possibilities, and promises to get me through. When I first opened my eyes today, I knew I had another opportunity to experience God's goodness in the land of the living. And I don't want to miss it.

I want to taste the bread He gives for today. I want to watch the birds and admire the flowers and know that today He will carefully clothe and care for me even better than He does them (Matthew 6). I want to repent and experience His forgiveness for my sins, when like Peter, I deny Him at least three times today before the clock chimes 3 PM (Matthew 27). I want to see Him do remarkable things today by witnessing His power to forgive others' sins with the authority only He has (Luke 5). I want to be ready to fellowship with Him as He comes to meet me today, like He did Zaccheaus (Luke 19). And today when I hear His voice speaking to my unbelief, I won't harden my heart in sin and rebellion. And because we're all made of the same stuff, I'll encourage others to respond to Him too, while it's still called today (Hebrew 3). Even when I'm fed up and annoyed with seemingly nothing left to give, and I don't feel like encouraging others, I'll remember that today is like 1,000 years to Him and maybe I'll be patient like He is with them, willing that none should perish but that all may come to the truth (2 Peter 3). When I look at my "To Do" app with the long list under "Today", before I boast that I'm going to go here and there and do this or that, I'll humbly admit, "Only if the Lord wills" (James 4). And should today be the day I die, I want my soul to rest in Jesus' promise to the thief - and me too since I'm as vile as he - "Today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23).

"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind."

So teach me to number my todays.

But if it Dies, it Bears Much Fruit

Here is an excerpt of Steve Saint interviewing and interpreting for now redeemed and forgiven, Mincaye, who murdered Steve's father and his father's four missionary friends 57 years ago today.

The radical call for every Christian, written by Jim Elliot in his journal pictured below:

 "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

May it be so in my life, Lord Jesus.

2012: Another Year of Proving Your Presence All Our Days

MARRIAGE

Enjoying a gorgeous sunset along the gulf coast

This year we celebrated our 10-year anniversary with a trip to Florida after participating in the wedding of some joy-driven friends in Atlanta. The R&R together was just what we needed to refuel us for the mission to which we've been called. I love that after 10-years we're really into the swing of life together, playing our positions to the glory of God. Life is full of the mundane, but as you wrote just a week ago in your annual Christmas letter to me, "The simple ease of shared tasks in the mundane translates into an ease of shared responsibility in mission." And that's what it's all about.

You still surprise me with love notes - this one written with pumpkin seeds!

FAMILY
Stella turned seven and {finally} lost her first tooth in September. Ruby turned four, but in the spring started riding her bike without training wheels at the tender age of three. Later in the year, she received her first corneal abrasion from shoving a ragged and sharp stick in her eye. Not to be out done by his older sister, Schaeffer added "first stitches" and "first black eye" to his resume. The "Parents of the Year Award" eluded us again in 2012. We went down fighting though, finally "caving" and purchasing two much desired pets - a cricket in November for an observational science experiment, and Zaccheaus, the hamster, as an over-the-top Christmas surprise.

Showing off the "gap" from the 1st of 5 teeth she lost this fall

Christian the Cricket - which environment did he consistently prefer?

Stitched up boy tightly grasping his rewards for bravery - a balloon and a sucker

"Daughters of Anarchy" as Daddy affectionately calls them

Ruby singing the Books of the New Testament while waiting to be seen by the Urgent Care Dr.

We made a few trips to the great state of Ohio :) to see our family, went to Family Camp with our church, and took a mini-vacation to Chicago. We also enjoyed several day trips to the Henry Ford/Greenfield Village throughout the year, thanks to Mom and Perry's generosity.

The old air guitar ain't what it used to be

Thankful for my tough-as-nails and meek-as-Moses Mom

Our American girls at the American Girl Restaurant in Chicago

After enjoying lunch at an old train station turned restaurant in Battle Creek

In the spring, we enrolled the girls in gymnastics for the first time, and in the fall thought we'd let them give soccer the old college try. Both loved both. Stella's team went undefeated in the regular season but lost in the championship game. She showed some improvement and potential that she can become a smart player. It's good for our girly-girl to learn more assertiveness and the other lessons playing a team sport can teach. Ruby, as unpredictable as Michigan weather, started out the season crying her way through the first game. But the determination of our sporty-girl (and her sporty-dad :)) won out and she ended the season having scored over 20 goals. The girl was a machine.

Stella chose her team's name and came up with "Yellow Jackets"

Our lightening fast girl representing "Blue Lightening"

Homeschooling has continued to stretch me and show me that each day really does have enough trouble of its own :). I'm thankful for our classical education based co-op. Ruby is enrolled in a class this year. Both girls benefit from the friendships, structured format, and excellent classes offered. And I benefit from the needed encouragement and fellowship of the other moms. 

"Symphony Symphony No. 40 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart"

Studying the artwork of Joan Miro'

Ornery pre-schoolers

Seeking the Lord together for help as we started another year

This has been the season of Narnia-love. We've read it, watched it, and listened to it. Here the kids are watching the BBC production.

MISSION

God continues to use the ministry of CBC in our lives and we enjoy the blessing of serving among such an encouraging body of believers. As I've mentioned over and over on this blog, we need these dear people in our lives. Like the early church in Acts 2, together we continue to devote ourselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. This was our fourth year of having the privilege to use our home for weekly Community Groups, sometimes hosting as many as 24 people in our small bungalow! Matt says that's like fitting 8 people into a Prius! :) We've gained precious friends this year and seen some saved, baptized, and added to the church. Watching God at work encourages us to expand our vision of all He can do through us in 2013. 

God allowed us to get involved in the pro-life movement this year, for the sake of moms and dads, and babies, and the image of God in them all. It has been an eye-opening experience. Stay tuned for more information in the year ahead as we seek to become more active in the peaceful prayer vigil known as  "40 Days for Life" outside this Abortion Clinic in Dearborn.

"Jesus took our nature in Bethlehem, to die our death in Jerusalem, that we might be fearless in our city." 

Releasing balloons in memory of the precious babies who lost their lives here.

You are not forgotten!

A few years ago, we saw the irony of being unable to really love our neighbors as the Bible commands if we didn't really know them well. So we became more intentional about showing love to our neighbors and in 2011, initiated Keppen Ave's first Block Party. It was a success, and in 2012, decided it was now an annual event!

"An army bold whose battle-cry is "Love!" reaching out to those in darkness."

 

 Thank you for sharing in our pilgrim journey this past year by reading our blog. We know the experiences of our lives really are no different than what you experience. However, it continues to be our desire that God will use us and even the commonness of our joys and sorrows to the praise of His glory and grace. 

Happy New Year from the Owen Family!