These Four Walls

It's a fitting end to our homeschool year. I just got off the phone with the mom of one of Stella's unsaved friends from soccer. She invited us over for a playdate. That phone call was fruit of our feeble attempts to reach out. Well, actually more like Stella's efforts reaching out. She would lie awake at night last fall burdened for her friend on her soccer team who didn't know Jesus. She'd pray for her. And at the end of the season she wanted to invite her to church. So I helped her write out our church information on a slip of paper so she could give it to her. Then this spring soccer season, Matt and I followed Stella's lead and tried to get to know her mom and dad better.

It's funny because this whole homeschool thing from our perspective has never been so much about being within these four walls of our home. I know I can wrongly think these four walls are a fortress of protection against the world and if I can just inculcate our kids enough and micromanage their influences they will be safe from worldliness. But with one angry word and selfish action I see their hearts and remember that the world is in there, not out there. And there's no wall big enough to save them from themselves. There's no mom wise enough and no dad strong enough to dominate their rebel hearts into submission. But "if they are among those whom God has chosen for eternal life, Jesus will have them as His subjects." (Starr Meade) So it's not about my kingdom on Keppen. It's about King Jesus' kingdom and how we fit into His reign.

And I'm preaching this to myself over and over and over. Because how can I hold these dear ones loosely when all I want to do is hold them closely? How can I convince myself they've never really been mine, but His to steward, when with each step they take away from me I have to restrain myself from chasing them down and bringing them back near? How can I give them life and then gladly lay down my life for them? This task of mothering is for women of steel and I'm just weak and vulnerable.

When I'm about to be overcome with grief and give way to the crisis of my identity, I remember a Father who saw His Son walk away from Him for the promise of something better. The covenant conversation from Isaiah 53 between God the Father and God the Son comforts me. "If you give your soul as an offering for sin, I will give you a people." So it pleased the Father to let Him go. It satisfied Him to see His Son suffer among the transgressors because of what it was accomplishing - bringing many more sons and daughters to glory.

I'm reminded God doesn't ask anything of me He hasn't already done for me. Perfect obedience positionally and grace to obey practically are mine. So I can let them grow and go because He's in control of them, working His own good purposes to expand His kingdom. And ultimately, I really do want them to follow Him, not me. I want them to hear His voice, and for it to be more familiar and precious than mine. I want them to come to know His gentle arms when they need comforted and trust His strong hand when they're used to reaching up for mine.

A wise woman builds her house. But she's wiser still if she remembers the four walls of it are but a small part of the much bigger kingdom He is building.

 

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Living in Community

Means crumbs in your couch and satisfied souls! For the record, the latter is definitely worth the clean up of the former. Now just remind me of that during the five o'clock mad dash as we get ready for groups! :)

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New Friday Night Tradition...

Camping out in Schaeffer's room!

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I Thought I Was Safe

Last week I enjoyed laughing at the comical ways Stella's peers described their moms and thought since I'm the teacher I was safe from those embarrassing exposures. Then Sunday came. Stella's Sunday school teacher had her class fill out one of those handy dandy questionnaires about their moms.

Apparently my favorite thing to wear is the same clothes for two days. I guess even MORE laundry is in my future now!

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The Day After

So what happens the day after Mother's Day when another hurdle has been jumped but your brave heart has melted and the hurt is still there and your arms are still empty? And not only are your arms empty but maybe that finger on your left hand is too. And it has been for too long. And you can't get away from mothers and fathers and doctors killing babies when you just want yours. And husbands and wives fighting and belittling and divorcing when you just want someone to love you and love back.

Cry. Yes, go ahead and keep crying. Let the tears roll into His sovereign bottle. And as you cry, remember Jesus cried too. Stella asked me why Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb when He knew He was going to raise him back to life. And with a quivering heart I told her that tears streamed down Jesus' face because He saw the effects of sin and the misery of the world He had created to be happy and holy. He saw the sorrow and loneliness of His infinitely loved friends burdened with the knowledge of good and evil when all He wanted them to know was good. And with the authority of God Himself who knew what it had been, and with the experience of humanity who saw what it is, every wet salty drop down His face was screaming, "This isn't the way it's supposed to be!"

Now let His tear-filled eyes meet yours. Now hear His life tell you it won't always be this way because He died to make it better. And let Him wipe away your tears with promises of a world to come where all you'll know is good again. None of this evil, hurt, and injustice. Then pack up those promises and load your arms and fingers full of hope. And carry those mercies around with you in this miserable world. And hold them close. And never forget them. Let His love surround you - underneath you, all around you. He loves you back because He loved you first. And most. And enough.

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Stirring Soup in the Spotlight

It has been said that being a mom is a thankless job. Days are spent doing things no one notices. The paparazzi's not hiding in our bushes to snap pictures of us unloading our screaming kids from the van. No one is dying to interview us on our latest bedtime routine, hoping this one will keep them in bed at night. There are no Yahoo! headlines spotlighting a mom who picks up the same toys 20 times a day only to have them thrown all over the house another 20 times that same day. Nor is there a newspaper spread featuring a mother elated over the rare pleasure of finding all the matching socks as she folds her laundry.

Our hearts crave the spotlight and the feeling that we're doing something significant, something that really matters. When these desires aren't met, we are tempted to grow embittered about or weary of our tasks, doing them half-heartedly or not at all. Our focus wanders from what we should be doing to what we think is worthwhile and will satisfy our desires for joy.

Maybe you're a nurse and the weariness of ungrateful and sometimes belligerent patients wears you down to the point that you wonder if the money is even worth it. Maybe you are a teacher and are tired of disrespectful students and blame-shifting parents who take the fun out of a job you used to enjoy. The particulars might be different, but regardless of our set of duties, our struggles are the same.

One morning as we were working through a catechism focusing on Jesus' humiliation and exaltation, I asked the girls to name some ways Jesus showed humility during His time on earth. Ruby responded, "When He fed people." It took a minute for me to grasp the profundity of her response. She got it absolutely right! I never thought of His providing meals for people as an act of humble service. He had heavenly priorities and although He needed to eat too, He could have seen their request for food as an inconvenience to the more important things He was trying to accomplish. But He didn't. He used this basic necessity to serve them and teach them.

I chuckled to myself as this image popped into my head:

I have felt like this on many occasions, especially when I'm engrossed in a project or task and know the clock is marching on toward that hour when all chaos will break loose if I don't have food ready for the savages formerly known as my children. So, I begrudgingly pull myself away from what I really want to be doing to do what they need me do.

But since Ruby made that convicting comment, I have found new significance in doing the many mundane tasks required of me. Not because the tasks in and of themselves have gotten more joyful, but because I have been more aware of Jesus' service for us.

He ministered in relative obscurity for thirty years. When few were looking or aware, He was accomplishing things of eternal significance - like securing our salvation! He was busy fulfilling all righteousness for those He came to save. So much for judging the significance of my work by what is noticed or unnoticed. There is One who is always watching and His audience is the one that matters most.

And then with the inauguration of His public ministry, when more people were aware of this Jesus of Nazareth, we still find Him meeting people's most basic needs - like eating, walking, drinking, and seeing. He even took time to invite the little ones near. I have often been challenged by the King of Heaven's kindess to the children! He didn't see them as interrupting His more majestic plans. They were His plan then just like they are His plan for me now. So I have taken time to kiss that 15th skinned knee of the day and look into those tear-filled eyes to let them know I care (and to tell them to shake it off, if need be!). Because if He had time, I certainly have time.

And those patient deeds of love and service weren't merely decorative details to the story of redemption. They were a significant part of His accomplishing all He came to do. As John states, referring to the many acts of Jesus recounted in his gospel, "[T]hese are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." (John 20:31)

As we follow Jesus' footsteps, we too learn to embrace the reality that the path is before the crown. But the fact that a reward is coming helps us serve like it helped Him endure. So for the joy set before us, let's stir that soup on the stove, sweep up those multiplying crumbs, wash and fold (and even put away!) those mounds of laundry. The reward for our humble labors will not be lost! Even all those bottles and sippy cups we fill and refill for our kids as service to Him will be rewarded! (Matthew 10:42)

Our selfless obedience shines light on God's great character, in a similar way Jesus' did. So like Him, we can use our humble stage to spotlight the One who deserves all glory and honor and power and blessing for ever and ever! Meanwhile, an amazing thing is sure to happen. As He receives the glory, we will find satisfaction in performing even the most menial task. It's the way He made us. Living for His glory really does result in our greatest joy!

Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28) And who am I to think this servant is greater than her Master? (John 13:16)

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1-2-3...

BEAST MODE!

Ruby getting some pre-game soccer coaching from her Dad

 

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Unremarkably Remarkable

Photo Credit: Zachery David Photography

We knew what we'd name you long before we saw you. Your name waited for you. But on that rainy December day leaving our ultrasound appointment, we pulled it out of our hearts and said it right to yours.

Joel Schaeffer Owen.

Every time I see it, I am reminded that we indeed gave you a good name. Not good, as in tasteful (although we think it's that too), but good as in respectable.

"A good name is more desirable than great riches." (Proverbs 22:1)

It's packed with three-generations of pastoral punch, the legacy of a Christian theologian and philosopher who convinced your Dad God is There and He is Not Silent, and the testimony of one of the most remarkable men we've called Pastor.

On your first birthday I reminded you of true greatness - being last and least like Jesus - evidenced in a story about Francis Schaeffer. On your third birthday, I want to tell you of a man who hasn't written any books or started any international ministries, but who has humbly served God in the same local church for nearly twenty-five years.

In 1988, Joel and Nancy, along with their energetic Matthew Joel and pig-tailed Jennifer Elizabeth, moved to the little town of Cambridge, Ohio. Joel had completed his Master of Divinity degree some years earlier and was serving as an elder at Mt. Calvary Baptist Church, ministering to souls for free, and painting walls during the day to pay the bills. They heard of a small, struggling congregation in Southeastern Ohio. After visiting and interviewing, Joel took the offer of Pastor at Cambridge Bible Church, not even knowing what salary the church would be able to pay him. You see, Schaeffer, he had a message to share that meant more than money. He had a God to follow he knew would meet his needs. That God had encouraged him, in a similar way He encouraged a lowly shepherd, but soon to be king, named David. “I took you from the pasture and from following the flock to be ruler over my people Israel.” (2 Samuel 7:8) Joel took comfort in that verse because he saw God could take anyone – even an unremarkable shepherd – and use that person for His remarkable purposes. So Joel humbly reminded himself that all God would ask, He would provide.

It's no surprise, then, when the need arose to supplement his pastoral salary, Joel didn’t think he was too important to go out and get a job to support his family. When his son, Matt, was older, he had the privilege of working with him for several summers. Matt says he learned more about his dad and from his dad during those days spent working with him, than he learned in all their other time together. He learned that his dad was who he said he was. He learned a work ethic that didn't stop until lunch - even when others were taking breaks. Joel had a good testimony on the job and showed Matt how to live a life worthy of the gospel even when doing seemingly insignificant things like shoveling gravel.

The desire to humbly serve is what led Joel to persevere, even during circumstances like coming to church on a couple of occasions and absolutely no one else showing up. Whether pastoring a congregation of 10 or 90, Joel prepared his sermons the same way. He never prepared less or eased up because he thought it might not matter as much. At least outwardly, he never expressed frustration or voiced discontentment, and as a result, he did not lead his family into bitterness toward the ministry. In fact, just the opposite happened. Joel and Nancy instilled in Jenny and Matt a love for Christ and a love for the ministry. Joel evidenced that he was truly serving the Lord because he didn't get hung up on whether he was happy with the results or not. He knew he was not ultimately serving results or the satisfaction of feeling effective; he was serving Him.

Humble service was what lead Joel and Nancy to show mercy to the homeless drifters who would find the church listing in the yellow pages (actually their home phone number) and call asking for help. From putting gas in tanks, to giving rides to the bus station, to putting people up in a motel, to making meals or buying groceries, they helped people and expected nothing in return. Sometimes, the giving hurt. Like the time Joel helped a young family get back on their feet and get a job. He even went so far as to loan them money only to have them skip out of town a couple of months later without ever paying him back.

 

The desire to humbly serve the church is what still leads Joel to spend his evenings, Saturdays, and Sundays studying for the three to four messages he has delivered each week for over two decades. He doesn't have a hobby. Serving the flock of Cambridge Bible Church is his life.

So, Son, learn from this humble man, Joel, the same man you love to call Gampy, something Pastor Ken often says to us, "Faithfulness is success." Don't be drawn away by sights that dazzle, crowds that might applaud, your name in lights, or on the cover of a book. The gospel ministry, whether vocationally or not, requires your putting your hand to the plow and not looking back. It involves your setting your face like flint and not looking to the right nor to the left. Because the gospel is a treasure, entrusted to fragile and common flesh and blood, so that unremarkable Joel, and you, his unremarkable namesake, might show that the remarkable power of faithful and humble service is from God.

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Much of the biographical information shared in this post is reworked from a speech Matt gave at his mom and dad's "20th Anniversary of Ministry" in 2008. But we're not the only ones who think this way about Dad. Read more here.

 

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Even Schaeffer Knows...

Not all jelly beans are created equal!

 

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The Best of Boys

In September of 2010, I went to my first True Woman Conference. There was at least one male attendee among the hundreds of women there. His name was Joel Schaeffer Owen and, the four month old bundle of baby boy, was with me.

I was still pretty overwhelmed at the fact of having a boy. There had been little question in my mind of how to train the girls early on, pointing them to the gospel first, but then to biblical femininity and striving to model it for them, although imperfectly, for sure. But, not growing up with a dad and not having any brothers, made me insecure about how to interact with a boy and how to train him in biblical masculinity. Matt was quick to comfort, assuring me a large part of that job was his, and we'd work together on it. But, of course, the boy would still be spending almost all of his time with me for at least 5 years so I still had some things to figure out.

By the end of the conference, ironically exclusively for women, my mind was at ease and I had confidence in a significant contribution I could have in raising our son. I realized one of the best thing I could do for him as his mom, was to embrace my womanhood for the glory of Christ. (Read here for exactly what I mean by that.) I needed to strive to manifest the wisdom of God's design in creating us differently, male and female. To show him we are purposefully intended to be different, so God could get all the glory for His brilliance in the created order. So I left committed, more than ever, to using my womanhood in an effort to display God's greatness before my son's eyes.

Now, almost three years later, I'm much more acclimated to most things boy. But, even still, I struggle. The other night I was asking Matt what is it about boys that make them act before thinking. Schaeffer's aggressive impulsiveness is such a mystery to me and I am constantly addressing it with him. I had an "Aha!" moment when Matt explained, "The good aspect of God making us like that is so we run toward the fight instead of away from it!" With images of Boston fresh on my mind, Matt's words made me worship God right then and there. There are so many facets to our amazing God! I just keep turning Him and observing Him from the different angles, displayed in His creating people and nature in general, and am constantly breath-taken!

"Keep showing me Yourself, Lord, through the husband and son you've placed in my life! I want to know more of You through the way You made them!"

A few days ago, Matt forwarded me a helpful (and beautiful) article on the topic of manhood. Another piece of the man-puzzle came together for me. (And they say we're the complicated ones! ;). The author describes, in even more detail, what I have been searching for in knowing how to interact with Schaeffer.

"[His mother is] suspicious of women who like to keep their boys in diapers, as it were. So she nudges Luke toward her husband. She buys them the same kinds of clothes. She admires Luke’s skill in hitting a ball, or painting, or building a tepee—whatever he sets his heart upon.

She becomes to him the best of girls, even when he doesn’t know he likes girls yet. She never ceases to be his mother and to command his respect, but she will also claim his duty as her protector. If the groceries are heavy, she asks him to handle them, knowing that eventually he will overmatch her in strength. When that day comes she’ll boast about it to her friends.

Her love for him is necessarily a love for his nature as a boy. One cannot say, “I love my terrier Whitey, but I wish he wouldn’t wag his tail.” She wants him to grow up to be a man whom a good woman would marry. She cannot encourage that by personal example. She encourages it rather by showing the love of a woman for her husband, regardless of the sparks that attend every union of the sexes. And she encourages it by expectation. She calls him to manhood by letting him practice being the man: as a mother teaches her son to “lead” her in a formal dance."

Everytime I read that excerpt I tear up. Partly because it is hard to let go of my growing boy. But partly because, since he has to grow, I desperately want him to grow to be the right kind of man. After pointing him to the gospel, the main way to help him to that end continues to be pretty straightforward. Be the woman God intended me to be and let him practice being - and by God's grace someday he'll actually become - the kind of godly man I'd want to marry. And, if I do say so myself, I have excellent taste in men.

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Real Men...

walk around the house with a fairy wand handy.

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I Am Weak But He Is Strong

I'm not the best journaler you've ever met. Honestly, one of the main reasons I do it is because it's something I can do half asleep, waiting for the coffee to course through my veins, so I can be more alert for the really important things like reading my Bible and praying. So my entries are usually brief and barely articulate at best. But they are helpful to assist me in remembering. My great-grandpa warned me that the older you get the faster time seems to fly. Well, at thirty-seven, I'm getting a glimpse of what he meant. I can hardly separate what happened when anymore because it all seems to be going so fast. I find myself asking Matt, "Which of our kids used to say_______?" Even those details I thought would be etched in my mind forever are much harder to retrieve these days. So it's good for me to have a record of things like, "Funny how [Matt and I've] had two fights the week before our 10 year anniversary." And then read what (more accurately Who) has faithfully helped us find joy and overcome the difficulties of marriage in a fallen world, "Please do not leave us to ourselves. We surely would perish [in our sin] if not for You. We cannot do without You!"

As I remember my thirty-sixth year by flipping through my journal entries, a few themes stand out to me:
1) My physical weakness - "Please help me each step of the way today! I need you every hour!" "Need grace to keep plugging along! Please help me!" "Please help us persevere!" "Still need your strength and help just as much as ever!" "Please help me walk with you today!" "We are always dependent and always in need of your sustaining grace to get us through." "Have felt so flat energy-wise lately. Just exhausted by the end of the day."
2) My spiritual weakness - "Please tune my heart to sing your praise and stand in awe of You!" "Please continue to work on my spirit to make it gentle and meek! I need You!" "Help me to be patient in serving and diligent in disciplining!" "Struggled yesterday with trusting You." "I need to be more like [our missionary] Kara [Howell]. Her spirit of contentedness and flexibility and peace speaks to the testing of her faith that has brought [those things] about. Soften my edges, Lord!"
3) My God's strength - "I just opened my Bible and thought, 'I love this Book!' It speaks to me of the love and grace I've experienced. It heals and restores. It gives life. It is all I need." "You gave a good day yesterday in spite of my struggles with tiredness and self-doubt. Thank you!" "I have all that I need in Jesus to help me deal with a variety of life circumstances in a way that exalts Him." "You answer prayer each day in such gracious ways. Thank you for providing help in my striving against sin."

I must conclude after reflecting on this past year, there was never a day God left me alone in my weakness. I often admitted my weakness and sinfulness, sometimes out of humility, but sometimes I actually confessed my struggles because I was proud and needed the reminder that even when I didn't feel like I needed Him, I still did. Sometimes, I was scared and wondered what a day would bring, and if by the end of the day my life would be completely different than it was when I woke up that morning. So I reminded myself of the security of walking with Sovereignty each step of the way each day. And even in the face of my on-going battles with sin, He never withdrew. He remained faithful to me showering me with assurances and love and forgiveness through His Word and His Spirit.

So, I must move forward in this new year of life boasting in my weaknesses. Because when I am weak, I am strong in all the strength He provides!

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.

Our God, You reign forever!

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer.

You are the Everlasting God,

The Everlasting God.

You do not faint,

You won't grow weary.

You're the defender of the weak,

You comfort those in need,

You lift us up on wings like eagles!

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Don't Let Me Lose the Wonder

Last week we ran into a friend who had her new baby along. She talked about her little one with such sweet wonder and delight. I caught myself start to do what I hate when people do to me - feel the need to shatter that joy with stories of the havoc this little one would soon bring upon her life. "Oh, just wait until he can talk back!" And, "At least he's portable now. Wait until you're stuck in the house at night constrained by his bedtime." And a personal favorite, "You feel that way now, but wait until you have two (or three or four)!" But thankfully, those unhelpful and mean-spirited words didn't make it out of my mouth. Instead, I decided to let this new mom instruct me. After all, when was the last time I looked at my kids with wonder like she did hers? Well, honestly I look at them in wonder a lot. Like wondering, "Are you really a fellow human? I know your DNA says you are, but honestly your actions are tipping the scale in favor of your being part of the animal kingdom about now." And astonishment like, "Did you really just tell your Dad in an extremely loud voice that the lady standing two feet away from us has a big nose?!"

Needless to say, running into our new-mom friend was a well-timed providence.

So, since our kids are still 2, 4, and 7, and we're about to enter a three month period when they'll each advance a year, and because I desperately need to remember what it's like to wonder at my kids sweetly and delightfully as if I'm holding them for the first time, indulge me for a few minutes.

 

Stella - Our Information Gatherer and Passer of Judgments

When we were at Hobby Lobby in January to support them and their right not to provide certain abortive pills to their employees, your dad was relaying the situation to you. Within seconds of his explanation about the quandary and without his ever using the words, you exclaimed, "But don't we have religious freedom in America?!" Spot on. You struggle with the complexities in people who can do so much good and still get some things so wrong. Like the Puritans and their views and treatment of African Americans. So you've joined us in examining our lives for what glaring sin we aren't standing against and helping people be freed from. In keeping with that, you have learned more about social injustice this year and have declared, "There are two things I hate most: slavery and abortion." Performing social services and pro-life activism hasn't been difficult for you to navigate as a Christian. Upon hearing the abortion clinic had closed where we've invested hours of prayer and reaching out to men and women in distress you added, "But our work isn't done yet since they still don't know Jesus." In just two years of involvement, you synthesized and simplified the complexities that have paralyzed some Christians to inactivity on the issue for over four decades! You are the self-declared "Ruler of Kids" in our house and are quick to detect the sins and shortcomings of those under your dominion. Actually, most of the time you're right. But we've got to keep working on that whole beam sticking out of your own eye thing. However, that's for another time.

 

Ruby - Our Determined Advocate

If you're fighting for someone, I know you're fighting to win. You informed us this year in no uncertain terms that one of your hobbies is winning trophies. Your dad and I joke that when a discipline is administered, we just have to wait for it. Sure enough we'll hear your indignant voice, "He didn't mean it that way! He's just hungry!" or "If she can't have one, I'm not going to either!" or "Are you being mean to Mommy or are you just teasing her?!" Your teachers have told me over and over how friendly you are to guests in your class. They've also said how you've befriend one of your classmates on the Autism Spectrum and how he has responded to you because you're always including him in what your other friends are doing. Mrs.Traci even said you asked him to your house for a sleepover. One day when I had gotten some sad family news and was crying with Daddy on the couch you helped cheer me by generously giving me your most prized possession - your coins. Since justice is your delight, you are learning more and more about the righteous standard by which we measure our lives and the God who is just and the Justifier of many through Jesus. You love to go on theological tyraids and preach it with Piperesque passion!

Schaeffer - Our Enforcer, Instigator, and Unmistakably Third Born

When your sister asks if she has sufficiently finished the food on her plate you look over before we can and decide, "No! No treat!" And when we are correcting one of your sisters you're quick to punctuate it with, "Happy heart!" You repeat our every admonition to them knowing just how to get under their skin. You and Ruby have become quite the pair. You play king and queen together trying to bring down the reign of the "Ruler of Kids."

You "wash" her hair and yours with hand sanitizer when you're supposed to be brushing your teeth. (I think she likes being along for the ride of your instigation. Guilt by association seems a much safer option to her than direct disobedience.)

You endure all the confusion of being the third born like a champ. Like my still desperately wanting you to be a baby in some ways and treating you as such and yet simultaneously demanding you exercise your independence. Like "Don't you want Mommy to hold you?" and then "Mommy's not holding you! You're old enough to walk!" And my talking to you a lot about going potty but lacking motivation to actually equip you with the skills. So your sisters (one appauled at the dirty diapers and passing judgment on an incapable mom and the other advocating for your right to wear your Thomas big boy undies) have become much more serious about the effort - even making you your own sticker chart and reward system. As the third born, I'm counting on your absorbing a lot of information just by exposure (I just don't have time to intentionally teach you everything I'd like) and you have risen to the occasion. We can't help but crack up at the motions you know to the historical timeline the girls have memorized. You know George Washington was our first President, winter at Valley Forge was cold, John Knox was a Scottish Reformer, Martin Luther started the Reformation, and the US purchased Louisiana from France. You identify every boat as the Dawn Treader and every lion as Aslan. And, on some rare occasions, you even give me hope that you are learning to obey and won't always be controlled by your horridly destructive impulsiveness.

I really don't want to lose the wonder of these kids as I wander with them through life. I pray God will use their personalities and affinities and aversions to make them a gospel-driven force to be reckoned with. I wonder what they'll become. I wonder. But God knows.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." I Corinthians 2:9

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Today's Joy Dare: Remembering Autism Awareness Month

This morning the kids and I were thanking God for "Gifts Opened Up." We watched this moving video embodying the 3 gifts we kept coming back to:

1) Opened Hands - to love and accept

2) Opened Hearts - to see and feel

3) Opened Mouths - to praise and tell

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Children, Desperate for the Gospel

It happened again, not too long ago. We were gathered around the table, Bible Story open. Matt asked the kids, "Who is the special baby God gave Mary and Joseph for a very special reason?" A child, who will remain nameless, enthusiastically exclaimed, "Moses!" Matt looked at me and I at him. You could almost hear our hearts sink to the floor in disappointed frustration.

Really?! Day in and day out we teach and train and listen and talk and this is all we have to show for it?! They haven't even caught who the most important character is in all of the Bible?! At that moment we wished the instructions Jesus gave to his twelve disciples applied to us, "If anyone will not listen to your words, leave that home and shake the dust off your feet." (Matthew 10:14) :) But, unfortunately, they don't, so we have to figure out some reasons to persevere in this effort of training our kids in the way they should go. Because as long as their feet are still under our kitchen table, there is work to be done.

If you're discouraged too, wondering what, if anything, is sinking in, maybe you'll find some encouragement in these simple reminders like I have.

And, I should mention, these aren't just for parents! I've seen some exasperated Sunday School/Children's Church teachers throw up their hands in frustration too. (Maybe the fact that the aforementioned nameless child was chasing another child around the room during class was a contributing factor. So I guess this is for my kids' teachers! Here's some encouragement for the discouragement our family creates! ;))

1) Every time we teach them the Bible, we are helping stop their suppression of truth. God created all people - even our young kids - to have an awareness of Him. What can be known about Him is easy for them to see just by looking out the window at His creation. But in their wickedness, they are trying to keep that truth of who He is and what He has done from surfacing. They're trying to hold down their accountability to Him with all their might. But, with each gospel reminder, the truth wiggles out from their strong force and stirs in their little hearts. Which also means, during times of greatest conviction, they just might seem most rebellious. They don't like being confronted with the truth they're trying to smother. 

2) God is glorified when we declare the truth about Him. He is passionate about His own glory! On really bad days, I remember this. If nothing is sinking in, penetrating their willfulness, I comfort myself that God is being praised just by the truth that's coming from my mouth, even if it seems to be falling on deaf ears. God loves to hear His glorious worth declared! If even the stones can cry out in praise to Him, then His character being extolled from this weary mom's lips to disinterested children, can be an act of worship too. And that makes it worth it.

3) Faith comes by hearing, and the ears of the heart are opened to hear through the Word. God had to remind Jeremiah of the power of His Word during his difficult ministry to a disobedient people. "Is not my word like a hammer that breaks a rock to pieces?" (Jeremiah 23:29) That's the reminder we need too since our kids' hearts are rock hard. It's only the sharp sword and blunt hammer of Scripture that can break through their stony hearts and change them into the broken and contrite hearts God loves. So we have to keep weaving the truth of Scripture into all of our instruction. Because hearing the Word is the means God uses to grant the gift of faith.

4) God uses their sin to show me what a piece of work I am. Ugh. I hate when that happens. About the time I'm thinking, "These pigs don't appreciate my pearls," I hear my own not-so-distant "oinks" in that oh so flattering reminder from 1 Corinthians 6. "[And] that (thieves, greedy, idolaters, sexually immoral, slanderers) is just what you were. But you have been washed (praise God!), you have been sanctified  (amazing!), you have been justified (humbling!)." God often uses me most then, not in the (rare) moments when I'm on my A-game with a Bible answer addressing every heart issue, wielding  my fully loaded gospel guns, but when I'm wallowing in the same muddy, filthy pit of sin they are. My hope is their hope. I am certainly not their hope. So I take myself back to the Savior of the same gospel I preach to my kids. And that's just where I need to be. Well, there and...

5) I need to be in prayer before the throne of grace. But my prayers shouldn't just focus on them and their needs. Pastor Ken pointed out in his sermon, "Contacting the War Room," that the way Scripture usually tells us to pray evangelistically is not for the ones receiving the message (although that's part of it) but primarily for the ones giving the message. God knows the harvest is plentious, but it's the laborers who are few and struggling. So, as parents and teachers, we need to pray that God would make us willing to sacrifice for the message, grow in our holiness and application of truth, patient in our labors, faithful to seize gospel opportunities, unashamed in spite of their rebellious opposition, and willing to fearlessly and boldly withstand the warfare in this battle for their souls. In essence, I need to pray that God would be making me all that I want  - or more so, what HE wants - them to be.

May God help us to remember His truth can conquer resistance, He loves for His worth to be declared, His Word is all-powerful, His grace compels the chief of sinners, and His servants are well-supplied for their mission. Now, I just might be ready to head into another day with these precious...pigs! ;)

Singles' Awareness Day

God intentionally put our beloved single friends on my radar today by having my Thursday prayer list for our Crossroads Class coincide with Valentine's Day. I know some joke that today is a day when those without a love interest are confronted even more with that reality. But, instead, why not make it a priority to be aware not of what they lack as if they deserve pity or sympathy, but aware, with joy and thankfulness, of all God is doing for His glory in their lives and how He is accomplishing His purposes through them? In Him they lack no good thing!

As I've said before, we are thankful for the way our unmarried friends are an example to us and we see displays of God's character at work in their lives in a special way. Today we want to thank them again for their testimony before us and our kids as people we should strive to imitate.

Thank you, friends, for:

- submitting to one another in your church and families out of reverence for Christ.

- being real friends to me. Like laugh-at-my-lame-jokes friends who try to convince Matt, "She really is funny!" Like eat-dessert-first-and-main-course-later-if-at-all friends. Like common-burden-for-the-disenfranchised-and-lonely friends because it hits so close to home.

- showing you are made in God's image, male and female, by glorifying Him with your unique design. We appreciate the way you help and nurture your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, Sunday School classes, and the babies in the nursery. We are thankful you take responsibility for your actions, deny your fleshly desires by waiting on God's timing, and step out in faith and do something even when the way may be unclear.

- being passionate about growing a family - God's family - by living and giving the Gospel.

- not wallowing in self-pity over what you don't have, but showing that God's love has changed you and really does help you rejoice with others whom He blesses with good gifts - even the coveted gifts of marriage and children.

- using this "undistracted" time to show your self-control by serving others, showing hospitality, and not indulging in being busy-bodies or living an extended adolescence.

- enduring severe physical trials and having the mature perspective that "your outward body is perishing but inwardly your spirit is being renewed day by day."

- caring more what that longed for guy thinks about Jesus than what he thinks about you.

- not worrying about what your diploma says your job should be and acknowledging that if you look for satisfaction in your career you are far too easily pleased.

- loving Christ like you're married to Him, and we all are, but you really get it.

- being an example to the believers in contentment with God's sovereign choices in your life and giftedness, and seeking to intentionally and joyfully use those gifts He gives and choices He makes, to show others how great and good He is.

Our lives have been changed by watching your lives. We love you and thank God for you!

Speak Up

Joy, my friend and advocate for HIV/waiting orphans and at-risk children, observes, "The [birthmother's] need extends beyond the sidewalks outside abortion clinics, so the ministry [to her and her child] should extend farther than that too." I couldn't agree more. But it is just that thought that can be overwhelming to us who are struggling with what we should do when there is so much to do!

Since doing something is better than doing nothing, last year our family was thankful to learn about 40 Days for Life, a peaceful prayer vigil, held in 40 day blocks of time outside abortion clinics for the purpose of saving lives and closing the clinics. We attended a prayer vigil at the local clinic and a memorial for the babies whose lives were lost at that particular location. Last fall, the lady leading the Dearborn chapter asked if Matt and I would be interested in taking over the ministry there.

We are sharing duties with her for this 40-days campaign which starts in just two days, Wednesday, February 13. I thought it might be helpful to share a few reasons we appreciate 40 Days for Life, and to let you know how you too might be able to get involved.

1) It is peaceful and compassionate. We are pro-life for babies, but also for the moms and dads, and abortionists, and the other people employed by the industry. We aren't out to degrade or belittle anyone for working at the clinic or visiting the clinic, whether it's for information or if it is to undergo an abortion. We are there to offer hope and help and attempt to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

2) It is prayerful. In keeping with Joy's observation above, some have said in order to save a baby you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to see the mother through the rest of her pregnancy if you convince her to chose life. While that is the ideal, not everyone can help in those extreme ways for various reasons. Of course, there is help available through many ministries and organizations, and we want to do all we can and act as a liaison to assist her in receiving whatever services she needs. However, something everyone can do is pray. And we must remember it's not the act of praying that is powerful. It is the Powerful One to whom we're praying. So, we call on Him who says, "I am...THE life," and ask for Him to work on behalf of those about to lose their lives and to work in those attempting to terminate life.

3) It is visible. If there is an anti-abortion presence outside of an abortion facility, the chances of a client entering reduce drastically. We want to put positive pressure on people considering abortion and awaken their moral conscience to have second thoughts about what they are doing.

4) It is something the whole family can do. Our kids can't engage an adult and debate the fact that life starts at conception. But our kids can pray; and they can use their own little lives, made in the image of God, to gently remind those women of what that child growing in their stomach will look like in just 24 months, or 4 years, etc. Again, statistically speaking, especially if children are part of the anti-abortion presence, chances decline for that mother actually setting foot inside the clinic.

5) It is one of the rare occasions in America when we can actually bear some of the reproach of Christ. People driving by might yell hateful and profane things at you. The clients entering might engage you in a verbally hostile way. And by no means should we glory in that or encourage it. But it is good for us to remember the path Christ walked. If the world hated Him, they will hate us. Are we willing to bear His shame and to lead our kids in this small step of taking risks for what's right?

So, if I've piqued your interest, here's how you, your family, Sunday School class, Young Adult Ministry, Women's Ministry, Post-Abortive Care Group, etc. can get involved locally.

1) Click here to go to the "40 Days for Life" page.
2) You'll need to register and agree to a "Statement of Peace."
3) Click on the "Schedule" option to see the calendar. There are step-by-step sign-up instructions on the right of the screen.
4) The clinic, American Family Planning, 4132 Schaefer Rd, Dearborn is open Tues - Fri, 9-1 and Sat, 8-12. The most important times to gather are during those times. You can go by the clinic at any other time to pray with your children or church group. However, we are targeting the times the clinic is open for our most visible efforts because of the reasons I mention above.
5) We are not legally allowed to park in the American Family Planning parking lot nor are we allowed to set foot on their property. When you arrive, you can park on Schaefer Rd a bit away from the clinic, and stand on the sidewalk surrounding the clinic parking lot. You should feel no pressure to, but if you are inclined, you are able to call out to women and the staff entering to offer hope and help, but any communication should be compassionate and not degrading. Of course, if you prefer to pray but not seek to engage anyone in conversation, that is perfectly fine.
6) Stay as long as you want or leave as quickly as you want. If you only have a few minutes to stop by and pray, that's great. If you can get there before the clinic opens or shortly after it closes to pray when the employees and the abortionist are coming and going, that's great too. Whatever works with your schedule.
7) If you live in the area, please take a moment to "Like" our Facebook Page, Southeast Michigan For Life, so you can stay connected with other pro-life supporters and be made aware of ways to advocate for life in our area. Also, please help pass the word about this opportunity and what's involved by "sharing" this post.

I love the admonition in Proverbs 31:7, interestingly enough, uttered by a mother to "the son of her womb" and "answer to [her] prayers." "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; for the rights of all who are destitute."

If God has given you a voice, will you use it to speak up for those whose mouths are formed, whose heart is beating, whose lungs are developing, but whose voice cannot yet be heard? Will you use it do defend their right to life? Will you use it to speak hope to the destitute? Will you use it to cry out to the Defender of the defenseless? For "surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear." (Isaiah 59:1)

And therein lies our hope.

We're On The Map!

For just over 11 years now, Community Bible Church has had an outward reminder of the biblical truth that the local church is God's people gathered, not the building in which they meet. Today as we entered an exciting new phase of ministry in our own beautiful building, we don't want to forget that important truth.

We have a street address now, but what makes CBC isn't the brick, siding, concrete, and wood you'll see on Benson Street in Trenton. CBC is something alive just like Jesus, the Chief Cornerstone, is alive. We are living stones, being built into a spiritual house so that we might declare His praises for calling us out of the darkness of sin and into the brightness of new life.

"As you come to him, the living Stone...you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house...offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ...you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." (1 Peter 2:4, 9)

The Worship Ensemble arriving bright and early to warm-up

Jess and Audrey fixing the teens a pancake breakfast in front of Julie's amazing duct tape chevron wall

The Community Kids getting ready to "Come Praise and Glorify"

First official "Welcome to Community Bible Church"

Pastor Ken relaying the good news that we will be expanding the worship area to accommodate a few hundred more people 

Peggy and Mark choppin' it up

Pastor Ken reminding us that God has done all of this in order for us to spread His fame

Thankful for these precious friends with whom we are in mission

Thankful our family gets to LEARN about God, LOVE Him and others, and LIVE for His purposes through the ministry of CBC