The Best of Boys

In September of 2010, I went to my first True Woman Conference. There was at least one male attendee among the hundreds of women there. His name was Joel Schaeffer Owen and, the four month old bundle of baby boy, was with me.

I was still pretty overwhelmed at the fact of having a boy. There had been little question in my mind of how to train the girls early on, pointing them to the gospel first, but then to biblical femininity and striving to model it for them, although imperfectly, for sure. But, not growing up with a dad and not having any brothers, made me insecure about how to interact with a boy and how to train him in biblical masculinity. Matt was quick to comfort, assuring me a large part of that job was his, and we'd work together on it. But, of course, the boy would still be spending almost all of his time with me for at least 5 years so I still had some things to figure out.

By the end of the conference, ironically exclusively for women, my mind was at ease and I had confidence in a significant contribution I could have in raising our son. I realized one of the best thing I could do for him as his mom, was to embrace my womanhood for the glory of Christ. (Read here for exactly what I mean by that.) I needed to strive to manifest the wisdom of God's design in creating us differently, male and female. To show him we are purposefully intended to be different, so God could get all the glory for His brilliance in the created order. So I left committed, more than ever, to using my womanhood in an effort to display God's greatness before my son's eyes.

Now, almost three years later, I'm much more acclimated to most things boy. But, even still, I struggle. The other night I was asking Matt what is it about boys that make them act before thinking. Schaeffer's aggressive impulsiveness is such a mystery to me and I am constantly addressing it with him. I had an "Aha!" moment when Matt explained, "The good aspect of God making us like that is so we run toward the fight instead of away from it!" With images of Boston fresh on my mind, Matt's words made me worship God right then and there. There are so many facets to our amazing God! I just keep turning Him and observing Him from the different angles, displayed in His creating people and nature in general, and am constantly breath-taken!

"Keep showing me Yourself, Lord, through the husband and son you've placed in my life! I want to know more of You through the way You made them!"

A few days ago, Matt forwarded me a helpful (and beautiful) article on the topic of manhood. Another piece of the man-puzzle came together for me. (And they say we're the complicated ones! ;). The author describes, in even more detail, what I have been searching for in knowing how to interact with Schaeffer.

"[His mother is] suspicious of women who like to keep their boys in diapers, as it were. So she nudges Luke toward her husband. She buys them the same kinds of clothes. She admires Luke’s skill in hitting a ball, or painting, or building a tepee—whatever he sets his heart upon.

She becomes to him the best of girls, even when he doesn’t know he likes girls yet. She never ceases to be his mother and to command his respect, but she will also claim his duty as her protector. If the groceries are heavy, she asks him to handle them, knowing that eventually he will overmatch her in strength. When that day comes she’ll boast about it to her friends.

Her love for him is necessarily a love for his nature as a boy. One cannot say, “I love my terrier Whitey, but I wish he wouldn’t wag his tail.” She wants him to grow up to be a man whom a good woman would marry. She cannot encourage that by personal example. She encourages it rather by showing the love of a woman for her husband, regardless of the sparks that attend every union of the sexes. And she encourages it by expectation. She calls him to manhood by letting him practice being the man: as a mother teaches her son to “lead” her in a formal dance."

Everytime I read that excerpt I tear up. Partly because it is hard to let go of my growing boy. But partly because, since he has to grow, I desperately want him to grow to be the right kind of man. After pointing him to the gospel, the main way to help him to that end continues to be pretty straightforward. Be the woman God intended me to be and let him practice being - and by God's grace someday he'll actually become - the kind of godly man I'd want to marry. And, if I do say so myself, I have excellent taste in men.

Posted with Blogsy

Real Men...

walk around the house with a fairy wand handy.

Posted with Blogsy

I Am Weak But He Is Strong

I'm not the best journaler you've ever met. Honestly, one of the main reasons I do it is because it's something I can do half asleep, waiting for the coffee to course through my veins, so I can be more alert for the really important things like reading my Bible and praying. So my entries are usually brief and barely articulate at best. But they are helpful to assist me in remembering. My great-grandpa warned me that the older you get the faster time seems to fly. Well, at thirty-seven, I'm getting a glimpse of what he meant. I can hardly separate what happened when anymore because it all seems to be going so fast. I find myself asking Matt, "Which of our kids used to say_______?" Even those details I thought would be etched in my mind forever are much harder to retrieve these days. So it's good for me to have a record of things like, "Funny how [Matt and I've] had two fights the week before our 10 year anniversary." And then read what (more accurately Who) has faithfully helped us find joy and overcome the difficulties of marriage in a fallen world, "Please do not leave us to ourselves. We surely would perish [in our sin] if not for You. We cannot do without You!"

As I remember my thirty-sixth year by flipping through my journal entries, a few themes stand out to me:
1) My physical weakness - "Please help me each step of the way today! I need you every hour!" "Need grace to keep plugging along! Please help me!" "Please help us persevere!" "Still need your strength and help just as much as ever!" "Please help me walk with you today!" "We are always dependent and always in need of your sustaining grace to get us through." "Have felt so flat energy-wise lately. Just exhausted by the end of the day."
2) My spiritual weakness - "Please tune my heart to sing your praise and stand in awe of You!" "Please continue to work on my spirit to make it gentle and meek! I need You!" "Help me to be patient in serving and diligent in disciplining!" "Struggled yesterday with trusting You." "I need to be more like [our missionary] Kara [Howell]. Her spirit of contentedness and flexibility and peace speaks to the testing of her faith that has brought [those things] about. Soften my edges, Lord!"
3) My God's strength - "I just opened my Bible and thought, 'I love this Book!' It speaks to me of the love and grace I've experienced. It heals and restores. It gives life. It is all I need." "You gave a good day yesterday in spite of my struggles with tiredness and self-doubt. Thank you!" "I have all that I need in Jesus to help me deal with a variety of life circumstances in a way that exalts Him." "You answer prayer each day in such gracious ways. Thank you for providing help in my striving against sin."

I must conclude after reflecting on this past year, there was never a day God left me alone in my weakness. I often admitted my weakness and sinfulness, sometimes out of humility, but sometimes I actually confessed my struggles because I was proud and needed the reminder that even when I didn't feel like I needed Him, I still did. Sometimes, I was scared and wondered what a day would bring, and if by the end of the day my life would be completely different than it was when I woke up that morning. So I reminded myself of the security of walking with Sovereignty each step of the way each day. And even in the face of my on-going battles with sin, He never withdrew. He remained faithful to me showering me with assurances and love and forgiveness through His Word and His Spirit.

So, I must move forward in this new year of life boasting in my weaknesses. Because when I am weak, I am strong in all the strength He provides!

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.

Our God, You reign forever!

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer.

You are the Everlasting God,

The Everlasting God.

You do not faint,

You won't grow weary.

You're the defender of the weak,

You comfort those in need,

You lift us up on wings like eagles!

Posted with Blogsy

Don't Let Me Lose the Wonder

Last week we ran into a friend who had her new baby along. She talked about her little one with such sweet wonder and delight. I caught myself start to do what I hate when people do to me - feel the need to shatter that joy with stories of the havoc this little one would soon bring upon her life. "Oh, just wait until he can talk back!" And, "At least he's portable now. Wait until you're stuck in the house at night constrained by his bedtime." And a personal favorite, "You feel that way now, but wait until you have two (or three or four)!" But thankfully, those unhelpful and mean-spirited words didn't make it out of my mouth. Instead, I decided to let this new mom instruct me. After all, when was the last time I looked at my kids with wonder like she did hers? Well, honestly I look at them in wonder a lot. Like wondering, "Are you really a fellow human? I know your DNA says you are, but honestly your actions are tipping the scale in favor of your being part of the animal kingdom about now." And astonishment like, "Did you really just tell your Dad in an extremely loud voice that the lady standing two feet away from us has a big nose?!"

Needless to say, running into our new-mom friend was a well-timed providence.

So, since our kids are still 2, 4, and 7, and we're about to enter a three month period when they'll each advance a year, and because I desperately need to remember what it's like to wonder at my kids sweetly and delightfully as if I'm holding them for the first time, indulge me for a few minutes.

 

Stella - Our Information Gatherer and Passer of Judgments

When we were at Hobby Lobby in January to support them and their right not to provide certain abortive pills to their employees, your dad was relaying the situation to you. Within seconds of his explanation about the quandary and without his ever using the words, you exclaimed, "But don't we have religious freedom in America?!" Spot on. You struggle with the complexities in people who can do so much good and still get some things so wrong. Like the Puritans and their views and treatment of African Americans. So you've joined us in examining our lives for what glaring sin we aren't standing against and helping people be freed from. In keeping with that, you have learned more about social injustice this year and have declared, "There are two things I hate most: slavery and abortion." Performing social services and pro-life activism hasn't been difficult for you to navigate as a Christian. Upon hearing the abortion clinic had closed where we've invested hours of prayer and reaching out to men and women in distress you added, "But our work isn't done yet since they still don't know Jesus." In just two years of involvement, you synthesized and simplified the complexities that have paralyzed some Christians to inactivity on the issue for over four decades! You are the self-declared "Ruler of Kids" in our house and are quick to detect the sins and shortcomings of those under your dominion. Actually, most of the time you're right. But we've got to keep working on that whole beam sticking out of your own eye thing. However, that's for another time.

 

Ruby - Our Determined Advocate

If you're fighting for someone, I know you're fighting to win. You informed us this year in no uncertain terms that one of your hobbies is winning trophies. Your dad and I joke that when a discipline is administered, we just have to wait for it. Sure enough we'll hear your indignant voice, "He didn't mean it that way! He's just hungry!" or "If she can't have one, I'm not going to either!" or "Are you being mean to Mommy or are you just teasing her?!" Your teachers have told me over and over how friendly you are to guests in your class. They've also said how you've befriend one of your classmates on the Autism Spectrum and how he has responded to you because you're always including him in what your other friends are doing. Mrs.Traci even said you asked him to your house for a sleepover. One day when I had gotten some sad family news and was crying with Daddy on the couch you helped cheer me by generously giving me your most prized possession - your coins. Since justice is your delight, you are learning more and more about the righteous standard by which we measure our lives and the God who is just and the Justifier of many through Jesus. You love to go on theological tyraids and preach it with Piperesque passion!

Schaeffer - Our Enforcer, Instigator, and Unmistakably Third Born

When your sister asks if she has sufficiently finished the food on her plate you look over before we can and decide, "No! No treat!" And when we are correcting one of your sisters you're quick to punctuate it with, "Happy heart!" You repeat our every admonition to them knowing just how to get under their skin. You and Ruby have become quite the pair. You play king and queen together trying to bring down the reign of the "Ruler of Kids."

You "wash" her hair and yours with hand sanitizer when you're supposed to be brushing your teeth. (I think she likes being along for the ride of your instigation. Guilt by association seems a much safer option to her than direct disobedience.)

You endure all the confusion of being the third born like a champ. Like my still desperately wanting you to be a baby in some ways and treating you as such and yet simultaneously demanding you exercise your independence. Like "Don't you want Mommy to hold you?" and then "Mommy's not holding you! You're old enough to walk!" And my talking to you a lot about going potty but lacking motivation to actually equip you with the skills. So your sisters (one appauled at the dirty diapers and passing judgment on an incapable mom and the other advocating for your right to wear your Thomas big boy undies) have become much more serious about the effort - even making you your own sticker chart and reward system. As the third born, I'm counting on your absorbing a lot of information just by exposure (I just don't have time to intentionally teach you everything I'd like) and you have risen to the occasion. We can't help but crack up at the motions you know to the historical timeline the girls have memorized. You know George Washington was our first President, winter at Valley Forge was cold, John Knox was a Scottish Reformer, Martin Luther started the Reformation, and the US purchased Louisiana from France. You identify every boat as the Dawn Treader and every lion as Aslan. And, on some rare occasions, you even give me hope that you are learning to obey and won't always be controlled by your horridly destructive impulsiveness.

I really don't want to lose the wonder of these kids as I wander with them through life. I pray God will use their personalities and affinities and aversions to make them a gospel-driven force to be reckoned with. I wonder what they'll become. I wonder. But God knows.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." I Corinthians 2:9

Posted with Blogsy

Today's Joy Dare: Remembering Autism Awareness Month

This morning the kids and I were thanking God for "Gifts Opened Up." We watched this moving video embodying the 3 gifts we kept coming back to:

1) Opened Hands - to love and accept

2) Opened Hearts - to see and feel

3) Opened Mouths - to praise and tell

Posted with Blogsy

Children, Desperate for the Gospel

It happened again, not too long ago. We were gathered around the table, Bible Story open. Matt asked the kids, "Who is the special baby God gave Mary and Joseph for a very special reason?" A child, who will remain nameless, enthusiastically exclaimed, "Moses!" Matt looked at me and I at him. You could almost hear our hearts sink to the floor in disappointed frustration.

Really?! Day in and day out we teach and train and listen and talk and this is all we have to show for it?! They haven't even caught who the most important character is in all of the Bible?! At that moment we wished the instructions Jesus gave to his twelve disciples applied to us, "If anyone will not listen to your words, leave that home and shake the dust off your feet." (Matthew 10:14) :) But, unfortunately, they don't, so we have to figure out some reasons to persevere in this effort of training our kids in the way they should go. Because as long as their feet are still under our kitchen table, there is work to be done.

If you're discouraged too, wondering what, if anything, is sinking in, maybe you'll find some encouragement in these simple reminders like I have.

And, I should mention, these aren't just for parents! I've seen some exasperated Sunday School/Children's Church teachers throw up their hands in frustration too. (Maybe the fact that the aforementioned nameless child was chasing another child around the room during class was a contributing factor. So I guess this is for my kids' teachers! Here's some encouragement for the discouragement our family creates! ;))

1) Every time we teach them the Bible, we are helping stop their suppression of truth. God created all people - even our young kids - to have an awareness of Him. What can be known about Him is easy for them to see just by looking out the window at His creation. But in their wickedness, they are trying to keep that truth of who He is and what He has done from surfacing. They're trying to hold down their accountability to Him with all their might. But, with each gospel reminder, the truth wiggles out from their strong force and stirs in their little hearts. Which also means, during times of greatest conviction, they just might seem most rebellious. They don't like being confronted with the truth they're trying to smother. 

2) God is glorified when we declare the truth about Him. He is passionate about His own glory! On really bad days, I remember this. If nothing is sinking in, penetrating their willfulness, I comfort myself that God is being praised just by the truth that's coming from my mouth, even if it seems to be falling on deaf ears. God loves to hear His glorious worth declared! If even the stones can cry out in praise to Him, then His character being extolled from this weary mom's lips to disinterested children, can be an act of worship too. And that makes it worth it.

3) Faith comes by hearing, and the ears of the heart are opened to hear through the Word. God had to remind Jeremiah of the power of His Word during his difficult ministry to a disobedient people. "Is not my word like a hammer that breaks a rock to pieces?" (Jeremiah 23:29) That's the reminder we need too since our kids' hearts are rock hard. It's only the sharp sword and blunt hammer of Scripture that can break through their stony hearts and change them into the broken and contrite hearts God loves. So we have to keep weaving the truth of Scripture into all of our instruction. Because hearing the Word is the means God uses to grant the gift of faith.

4) God uses their sin to show me what a piece of work I am. Ugh. I hate when that happens. About the time I'm thinking, "These pigs don't appreciate my pearls," I hear my own not-so-distant "oinks" in that oh so flattering reminder from 1 Corinthians 6. "[And] that (thieves, greedy, idolaters, sexually immoral, slanderers) is just what you were. But you have been washed (praise God!), you have been sanctified  (amazing!), you have been justified (humbling!)." God often uses me most then, not in the (rare) moments when I'm on my A-game with a Bible answer addressing every heart issue, wielding  my fully loaded gospel guns, but when I'm wallowing in the same muddy, filthy pit of sin they are. My hope is their hope. I am certainly not their hope. So I take myself back to the Savior of the same gospel I preach to my kids. And that's just where I need to be. Well, there and...

5) I need to be in prayer before the throne of grace. But my prayers shouldn't just focus on them and their needs. Pastor Ken pointed out in his sermon, "Contacting the War Room," that the way Scripture usually tells us to pray evangelistically is not for the ones receiving the message (although that's part of it) but primarily for the ones giving the message. God knows the harvest is plentious, but it's the laborers who are few and struggling. So, as parents and teachers, we need to pray that God would make us willing to sacrifice for the message, grow in our holiness and application of truth, patient in our labors, faithful to seize gospel opportunities, unashamed in spite of their rebellious opposition, and willing to fearlessly and boldly withstand the warfare in this battle for their souls. In essence, I need to pray that God would be making me all that I want  - or more so, what HE wants - them to be.

May God help us to remember His truth can conquer resistance, He loves for His worth to be declared, His Word is all-powerful, His grace compels the chief of sinners, and His servants are well-supplied for their mission. Now, I just might be ready to head into another day with these precious...pigs! ;)

Singles' Awareness Day

God intentionally put our beloved single friends on my radar today by having my Thursday prayer list for our Crossroads Class coincide with Valentine's Day. I know some joke that today is a day when those without a love interest are confronted even more with that reality. But, instead, why not make it a priority to be aware not of what they lack as if they deserve pity or sympathy, but aware, with joy and thankfulness, of all God is doing for His glory in their lives and how He is accomplishing His purposes through them? In Him they lack no good thing!

As I've said before, we are thankful for the way our unmarried friends are an example to us and we see displays of God's character at work in their lives in a special way. Today we want to thank them again for their testimony before us and our kids as people we should strive to imitate.

Thank you, friends, for:

- submitting to one another in your church and families out of reverence for Christ.

- being real friends to me. Like laugh-at-my-lame-jokes friends who try to convince Matt, "She really is funny!" Like eat-dessert-first-and-main-course-later-if-at-all friends. Like common-burden-for-the-disenfranchised-and-lonely friends because it hits so close to home.

- showing you are made in God's image, male and female, by glorifying Him with your unique design. We appreciate the way you help and nurture your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, Sunday School classes, and the babies in the nursery. We are thankful you take responsibility for your actions, deny your fleshly desires by waiting on God's timing, and step out in faith and do something even when the way may be unclear.

- being passionate about growing a family - God's family - by living and giving the Gospel.

- not wallowing in self-pity over what you don't have, but showing that God's love has changed you and really does help you rejoice with others whom He blesses with good gifts - even the coveted gifts of marriage and children.

- using this "undistracted" time to show your self-control by serving others, showing hospitality, and not indulging in being busy-bodies or living an extended adolescence.

- enduring severe physical trials and having the mature perspective that "your outward body is perishing but inwardly your spirit is being renewed day by day."

- caring more what that longed for guy thinks about Jesus than what he thinks about you.

- not worrying about what your diploma says your job should be and acknowledging that if you look for satisfaction in your career you are far too easily pleased.

- loving Christ like you're married to Him, and we all are, but you really get it.

- being an example to the believers in contentment with God's sovereign choices in your life and giftedness, and seeking to intentionally and joyfully use those gifts He gives and choices He makes, to show others how great and good He is.

Our lives have been changed by watching your lives. We love you and thank God for you!

Speak Up

Joy, my friend and advocate for HIV/waiting orphans and at-risk children, observes, "The [birthmother's] need extends beyond the sidewalks outside abortion clinics, so the ministry [to her and her child] should extend farther than that too." I couldn't agree more. But it is just that thought that can be overwhelming to us who are struggling with what we should do when there is so much to do!

Since doing something is better than doing nothing, last year our family was thankful to learn about 40 Days for Life, a peaceful prayer vigil, held in 40 day blocks of time outside abortion clinics for the purpose of saving lives and closing the clinics. We attended a prayer vigil at the local clinic and a memorial for the babies whose lives were lost at that particular location. Last fall, the lady leading the Dearborn chapter asked if Matt and I would be interested in taking over the ministry there.

We are sharing duties with her for this 40-days campaign which starts in just two days, Wednesday, February 13. I thought it might be helpful to share a few reasons we appreciate 40 Days for Life, and to let you know how you too might be able to get involved.

1) It is peaceful and compassionate. We are pro-life for babies, but also for the moms and dads, and abortionists, and the other people employed by the industry. We aren't out to degrade or belittle anyone for working at the clinic or visiting the clinic, whether it's for information or if it is to undergo an abortion. We are there to offer hope and help and attempt to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

2) It is prayerful. In keeping with Joy's observation above, some have said in order to save a baby you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to see the mother through the rest of her pregnancy if you convince her to chose life. While that is the ideal, not everyone can help in those extreme ways for various reasons. Of course, there is help available through many ministries and organizations, and we want to do all we can and act as a liaison to assist her in receiving whatever services she needs. However, something everyone can do is pray. And we must remember it's not the act of praying that is powerful. It is the Powerful One to whom we're praying. So, we call on Him who says, "I am...THE life," and ask for Him to work on behalf of those about to lose their lives and to work in those attempting to terminate life.

3) It is visible. If there is an anti-abortion presence outside of an abortion facility, the chances of a client entering reduce drastically. We want to put positive pressure on people considering abortion and awaken their moral conscience to have second thoughts about what they are doing.

4) It is something the whole family can do. Our kids can't engage an adult and debate the fact that life starts at conception. But our kids can pray; and they can use their own little lives, made in the image of God, to gently remind those women of what that child growing in their stomach will look like in just 24 months, or 4 years, etc. Again, statistically speaking, especially if children are part of the anti-abortion presence, chances decline for that mother actually setting foot inside the clinic.

5) It is one of the rare occasions in America when we can actually bear some of the reproach of Christ. People driving by might yell hateful and profane things at you. The clients entering might engage you in a verbally hostile way. And by no means should we glory in that or encourage it. But it is good for us to remember the path Christ walked. If the world hated Him, they will hate us. Are we willing to bear His shame and to lead our kids in this small step of taking risks for what's right?

So, if I've piqued your interest, here's how you, your family, Sunday School class, Young Adult Ministry, Women's Ministry, Post-Abortive Care Group, etc. can get involved locally.

1) Click here to go to the "40 Days for Life" page.
2) You'll need to register and agree to a "Statement of Peace."
3) Click on the "Schedule" option to see the calendar. There are step-by-step sign-up instructions on the right of the screen.
4) The clinic, American Family Planning, 4132 Schaefer Rd, Dearborn is open Tues - Fri, 9-1 and Sat, 8-12. The most important times to gather are during those times. You can go by the clinic at any other time to pray with your children or church group. However, we are targeting the times the clinic is open for our most visible efforts because of the reasons I mention above.
5) We are not legally allowed to park in the American Family Planning parking lot nor are we allowed to set foot on their property. When you arrive, you can park on Schaefer Rd a bit away from the clinic, and stand on the sidewalk surrounding the clinic parking lot. You should feel no pressure to, but if you are inclined, you are able to call out to women and the staff entering to offer hope and help, but any communication should be compassionate and not degrading. Of course, if you prefer to pray but not seek to engage anyone in conversation, that is perfectly fine.
6) Stay as long as you want or leave as quickly as you want. If you only have a few minutes to stop by and pray, that's great. If you can get there before the clinic opens or shortly after it closes to pray when the employees and the abortionist are coming and going, that's great too. Whatever works with your schedule.
7) If you live in the area, please take a moment to "Like" our Facebook Page, Southeast Michigan For Life, so you can stay connected with other pro-life supporters and be made aware of ways to advocate for life in our area. Also, please help pass the word about this opportunity and what's involved by "sharing" this post.

I love the admonition in Proverbs 31:7, interestingly enough, uttered by a mother to "the son of her womb" and "answer to [her] prayers." "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; for the rights of all who are destitute."

If God has given you a voice, will you use it to speak up for those whose mouths are formed, whose heart is beating, whose lungs are developing, but whose voice cannot yet be heard? Will you use it do defend their right to life? Will you use it to speak hope to the destitute? Will you use it to cry out to the Defender of the defenseless? For "surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear." (Isaiah 59:1)

And therein lies our hope.

We're On The Map!

For just over 11 years now, Community Bible Church has had an outward reminder of the biblical truth that the local church is God's people gathered, not the building in which they meet. Today as we entered an exciting new phase of ministry in our own beautiful building, we don't want to forget that important truth.

We have a street address now, but what makes CBC isn't the brick, siding, concrete, and wood you'll see on Benson Street in Trenton. CBC is something alive just like Jesus, the Chief Cornerstone, is alive. We are living stones, being built into a spiritual house so that we might declare His praises for calling us out of the darkness of sin and into the brightness of new life.

"As you come to him, the living Stone...you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house...offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ...you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." (1 Peter 2:4, 9)

The Worship Ensemble arriving bright and early to warm-up

Jess and Audrey fixing the teens a pancake breakfast in front of Julie's amazing duct tape chevron wall

The Community Kids getting ready to "Come Praise and Glorify"

First official "Welcome to Community Bible Church"

Pastor Ken relaying the good news that we will be expanding the worship area to accommodate a few hundred more people 

Peggy and Mark choppin' it up

Pastor Ken reminding us that God has done all of this in order for us to spread His fame

Thankful for these precious friends with whom we are in mission

Thankful our family gets to LEARN about God, LOVE Him and others, and LIVE for His purposes through the ministry of CBC

They Can Be Forgiven Too

The "been there" principles I wrote about last week apply too as we seek to minister to women who have had an abortion. Do we communicate our pro-life position in a way that is so hatefully angry a post-abortive woman would never think of coming to us for help and restoration? Again, our common experience provides perspective.

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment." (Matthew 5:21,22a)

Listen to the words of a dear friend, and member of our church, as you consider your ministry for life.

"In 1975, I had an abortion. I was a single young woman (NOT a Christian) who loved to party, I had a terrific job at Ford Motor Company, I lived alone in a nice apartment, I had a brand new car.......and I found myself pregnant. I was angry at myself for being so careless. Being the self-centered, fiercely independent person that I was, the first thing that came to my mind was, “I’ll get an abortion”. There was no thought put into this decision whatsoever. I didn’t even know what an abortion was, I just knew I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be. I knew it was legal, my boyfriend would pay for it, and then I could start fresh. So that’s what I did.

They told me at the clinic that I could resume all normal activities in 2 days and go on as if nothing happened. I believed them. They were so nice and comforting, why would they ever lie to me? But lie they did.

I cried all the way home. In fact, I could barely breathe. The pain of the procedure was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I was awake the entire time and thought my insides were being ripped out. I tried to get up but the nurse had such a tight grip on my arm that she scared me. The doctor never said a word – not one word, I never saw him. I was hyperventilating and they had to give me a drug to calm me down. They also told me that in order to leave, I had to be calm. (I later realized that I had to leave the clinic through the same waiting room that many women and young girls were waiting their turns. The staff did not want me in hysterics as I left. That would have been very bad for business, right?)

For weeks I would cry for no reason. Then, as if I turned off a light switch, I determined to never think about it again. And for 15 years, I gave it no thought whatsoever. I buried it deep. By the time I was 40, I had become a black-out alcoholic. I drank every day and took pills to sleep at night.

My neighbor, who was a Christian, came to my house one day in 1993. She shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with me. I was so resistant – I locked myself in the bathroom. She was trying to tell me that God forgives all of our sins if we believe in Jesus, His Son. That was beyond my comprehension. I had never heard anything like that. I could not imagine God forgiving someone that had aborted her baby and was drunk all the time. BUT, my neighbor told me that she had had an abortion and had struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. (She didn’t know anything about me at that time, oh how God works!) She told me that when she and her husband invited Christ to be the Lord of their lives, everything changed. I saw it in her eyes, she was telling me the truth! (This was after I finally came out of the bathroom:))

She invited me to pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart and change me. That was 20 years ago. (And I have never had a drink since that day either – Praise the Lord!)

I knew I was forgiven of my sin of abortion because the Lord drew me so close and took me on a journey of reading His Word, studying it and learning how to pray. I John 1:9 says that “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. I took Him at His Word. I believed that I was forgiven. And I wanted other women to know that they could be forgiven too."

"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God." (2 Corinthians 5:16-20)

Implore them. Beg them urgently. Because if I'm forgiven and you're forgiven, they can be too.

Been There, Done That

The latest Planned Parenthood campaign, strategically released a week before the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, is clever. Clever, but still not true. Propagandized with a reasonable punch, but still lacking substance.

The organization is attempting to do away with the labels "Pro-Choice" and "Pro-Life." Well, actually, it's mostly just trying to eradicate the word "life" from the argument so as to blur the lines between the two camps. It wants to portray those who stand against abortion as uncaring and judgmental and as being pro-life "in a bubble;" ignoring the paramount problems some pregnant women face. "After all," they imply, "how can you really have an objective opinion about the matter if you aren't in the woman's situation and have never 'walked in her shoes'?"

Before we get too shamed into shying away from our stand for life, let us remember a few things.

1) In our human experience, the temptations and trials we face are diverse. In other words, there are many different kinds of hard times we go through. With regard to the trials of pregnancy, it can be unexpected and unwanted. It can be a result of rape, incest, an uncommitted relationship, or just an inconvenient conception between a married couple or two committed, but unmarried, people. It can involve health risks for the mother and health complications with the baby. There are the financial issues to consider regarding prenatal and postnatal health care for both the mother and the child. And then, of course, there's the looming financial obligation to support the child once he/she is born. Varied troubles.

2) But even among such a diversity of trials just on this one topic, they are still common to us all. Has any woman you've known been through a pregnancy that put a serious strain on her health? Have you ever known a woman to have a "surprise" and even "unwanted" pregnancy? Do you know a woman who has given birth to a special needs child? Are there women in your circle of friends who have been violated by rape or suffered other heinous sexual abuse? Has anyone you know had to get extra jobs to pay for health care costs for his/her child? Have you ever known a child to put serious financial strain on a family? Has a child ever changed the trajectory of a parent's vocational path?

No doubt, you can probably answer yes to some of these questions for yourself, and definitely for those in your circle of closest friends. Admittedly, what makes the issue so complicated is that many of these diverse trials can be combined into one overwhelming circumstance for some women. But even those desperate situations are common. That's why on Tuesday, I shared my and my mom's story.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

So then, do we stand for life as uncaring and ignorant of the hardships? Not at all. Our common experiences personally and observed through our friends, acquaintances, and loved ones should, and I hope do, make us more patient, more approachable, more heartbroken, more capable of reaching out to offer comfort, and more willing to sacrifice for the good of others.

3) While our shared experiences mean a lot, it's Someone else's experience that means everything.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:15,16)

As one of my favorite songs puts it, "He walked my road and He felt my pain, joys and sorrows that I know so well. Yet His righteous steps give me hope again. I will follow my Emmanuel."

Jesus did walk in our shoes, facing our common trials and struggles and handling each one with absolute, God-satisfying perfection. He empathizes with, meaning He feels and understands, what we're going through, because He has been through it too. We are able, then, to approach God for wisely and generously distributed grace and mercy to help us in our time of need!

So, too, we are free to stand for life with understanding compassion because of similar difficulties we've encountered, and mostly because of divine help we can offer from the One who walked our path and hers.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Join me next week for a post on the issue of ministering to post-abortive women.

Nobody Said Choosing Life Was Easy

On this 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court's landmark decision legalizing abortion on demand in all fifty states, I want to publicly thank my mom for choosing life. In doing so, I am in no way criticizing birth mothers who choose life and bravely made an adoption plan for their baby. I am also not degrading those who had an abortion and have lived with regret and remorse. I hope to write more on that later in the week. And, I am certainly not advocating that the biblical view of the married two parent family can be set aside because it's old fashioned and unnecessary in the 21st century.

What I do hope to show is that grace is greater than sin.

When I stand outside the abortion clinic in Dearborn, I see the young girls and women who pull in, alone, desperate, conflicted, and down right terrified, and imagine an 18-year-old named Jodie feeling those same things. I see one light a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling a few times, hoping to draw some courage from the nicotine to take the next few steps. I see her glance around at us there on the sidewalk, ready to offer help, and turn her head away quickly so as not to meet our eyes. Then I see her get out of her car, throw her cigarette on the ground, extinguish it with her foot, and set her gaze on the entrance door. As we call out to her, I know she wants to believe what we're saying is true. I know she wants to believe that there are other options. That even though her life will be hard, she can make it. That she really isn't alone. But she keeps moving forward anyway, trying to silence the voices. About ready to reach out for the door handle, she abruptly turns around, running back to the car with tears streaming down her face. It seems she changed her mind! She starts her car and speeds out of the parking lot.

That might seem like a happy ending. And, indeed, it certainly is for the most important chapter. But the story is nowhere near over and so I weep for her still. Because even if she chooses life and to raise her baby, I know how incredibly hard it's going to be for her. I know the jobs she'll have to settle for just to make ends meet. I know the social life she'll give up, because really, who wants to date a girl who admits she has a 1-year-old at home? I know the academic and vocational dreams that will be put on hold, some permanently, because her attention will be divided. I know the family tensions that will be present because of the constantly pressing need to find childcare and, at some points, even housing. I know the financial strain that will weigh on her day in and day out. And I know because Jodie did choose life. She allowed me to be born alive - not dead - as she could've easily done in her circumstances in 1975. And God has shown me much grace through that scared and lonely teen mom, who allowed me to take my first breath.

Not only did she give me life, but she also sustained my life. I don't believe we are captive to the doom and gloom statistics I hear regarding babies born out of unwanted pregnancies, because I believe in a God who is sovereign over statistics. He can take desperate situations and heart breaking realities and weave a beautiful tapestry, sewn with a blood-red thread, pointing to the cross that breaks the power of sin and death. He can turn the hearts of the mothers toward their children, motivated with all the natural affection common grace can offer. And I know because God did that for us. 

My mom taught me many good things precisely because of our difficult circumstances. I would not have learned these hard lessons to the same degree otherwise.

1) There is something worse than taking nine years to complete your undergrad degree. Many women have climbed the corporate ladder successfully, stepping on toes all the way up. For some women, the most injured in the process, aren't the co-workers they've jilted and undermined to get where they are. At the bottom of the corporate ladder are thousands of babies, crushed underfoot, as their moms chose their death over the potential death of their career. 

My mom's climb was incremental and slow, but as a successful business woman at age 55, she's shown me that pragmatism is no way to live your life. It's good to have big dreams, but not at all costs. She taught me it not only matters where you end up, but how you get there. And I got to have a small part in her climb.

While most parents were pulling all-nighters helping their kids complete last minute projects (and believe me, we did that too!), I was proofreading her papers. Every weekend seemed to be "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" for us. When she worked in accounting, I'd help her sort checks in numerical order, count change from the vending machines, and any other small task that would help her get it all done. I remember staying up into the wee hours to help her complete a huge project for her marketing class. Who knows how many magazines we scoured and cut our way through looking for examples of different advertising layouts. 

Mom taught me it's good to reach the top, but it's even better to get there the right way.

2) You can choose life precisely because of the Women's Rights Movement. They want you to believe having a baby will ruin you, but it is that equality for women that allows you to give birth and still have opportunity. Anne-Marie Slaughter might be right that Women Still Can't Have It All, but that doesn't mean they can't have anything. Her article was fairly pro-family for a feminist writer, but still, I shudder to think how many abortions it set in motion. Even if the "arc of a successful career" isn't just right, or in my mom's case, is completely wrong, chances are, you still have a good shot at success. 

3) Life is hard. I knew about interpersonal struggles, financial problems, death, and abandonment at a young age. My naive, rose-colored glasses of adolescence weren't in place for long. But that has been a good thing. I was under no impression that my ultimate hope was in this world. I knew how messed up it was. And in time, as God showed me where true hope could be found, I appreciated even more the bright promise of eternal life against the dark backdrop of this sinful world I knew.

So as my mom taught me, we too want our kids to know sin, in their own hearts first, has consequences. We want them to see that sin makes life hard. We even want them to see us struggle through sin and argue from time to time. Because in our marriages, families, and churches we need people who don't blush at sin.  Who aren't shocked by it, and who don't ignore, minimize, or hide it, but know how to deal with it. We need people who are less prone to throw the first stone and more prone to see the Physician came, not for the well, but for the terminally sin-sick. And that's all. of. us. We need people to love God and others much because they realize they are the ones who have been forgiven much. 

4) You can be your child's friend. It has been said that teen moms and their kids grow up together. In some sense that's true. And there are advantages to it. Like sharing clothes, shoes, and make-up! But really, in all honesty, I liked being with Mom. She told me "no" on the important things, but she also said "yes" to a lot of unimportant things. She didn't parent for my approval, but she also didn't distance herself from me. We were a team. "Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us, you and I," we'd sing in the car together. And my friends would envy our closeness as she and I would sing what we called "our song," Huey Lewis' "Happy to be Stuck With You." We even had our own choreographed hand motions to go along with it.

5) Grace overcomes guilt. Being a mom is a guilt-laden profession. I've said before, I'm only seven and a half years into it and already have a long list of regrets. I can't imagine what it must feel like to start out with the cards stacked against you, so to speak, and to be fighting an uphill battle.

But, I've seen grace abound where sin abounded. I've seen joy and peace surface where there was none before. And I've seen a mother and daughter emerge from the battle, scarred and wounded, but hand in hand, because God offers forgiveness. And, to be honest, even those wounds are sweet, because they tell of His protection when Satan would've been pleased to devour us. They point to His power to seek and save, and keep what is His, at all costs. Even His own life. And because of that very good news, Mom and I can face our past, each other, and the future, through the power of His indestructible life. 

Life. That's what this day is about. Life here and now. Fight for it. Give it. Sustain it. And eternal life to come. Preach it to yourself first, then share it with the world who so desperately needs saved from all this death.

Here Today

I know I'm a few years late to the party, but I've recently been reading Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience. She helped us have one of the most anticipatory Advent seasons to date. This woman is nothing if not passionate. And looking at her photographs actually makes me wish I lived on a farm. Wow. That's saying something. But I think it's just for the farmhouse. :)

A few weeks ago she revealed her name for the new year. I like that idea. A name for 2013 to keep my focus. A name to help me be intentional. A name to motivate. A name in her words, "as we name our newborn...so we know who it is to us. Named, we now have a destination, a way across the next twelve months."

So, after some consideration (after all, naming something is a big deal!), I've named 2013 Today. 

Because today is full of provision, problems, possibilities, and promises to get me through. When I first opened my eyes today, I knew I had another opportunity to experience God's goodness in the land of the living. And I don't want to miss it.

I want to taste the bread He gives for today. I want to watch the birds and admire the flowers and know that today He will carefully clothe and care for me even better than He does them (Matthew 6). I want to repent and experience His forgiveness for my sins, when like Peter, I deny Him at least three times today before the clock chimes 3 PM (Matthew 27). I want to see Him do remarkable things today by witnessing His power to forgive others' sins with the authority only He has (Luke 5). I want to be ready to fellowship with Him as He comes to meet me today, like He did Zaccheaus (Luke 19). And today when I hear His voice speaking to my unbelief, I won't harden my heart in sin and rebellion. And because we're all made of the same stuff, I'll encourage others to respond to Him too, while it's still called today (Hebrew 3). Even when I'm fed up and annoyed with seemingly nothing left to give, and I don't feel like encouraging others, I'll remember that today is like 1,000 years to Him and maybe I'll be patient like He is with them, willing that none should perish but that all may come to the truth (2 Peter 3). When I look at my "To Do" app with the long list under "Today", before I boast that I'm going to go here and there and do this or that, I'll humbly admit, "Only if the Lord wills" (James 4). And should today be the day I die, I want my soul to rest in Jesus' promise to the thief - and me too since I'm as vile as he - "Today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23).

"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind."

So teach me to number my todays.

But if it Dies, it Bears Much Fruit

Here is an excerpt of Steve Saint interviewing and interpreting for now redeemed and forgiven, Mincaye, who murdered Steve's father and his father's four missionary friends 57 years ago today.

The radical call for every Christian, written by Jim Elliot in his journal pictured below:

 "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

May it be so in my life, Lord Jesus.

2012: Another Year of Proving Your Presence All Our Days

MARRIAGE

Enjoying a gorgeous sunset along the gulf coast

This year we celebrated our 10-year anniversary with a trip to Florida after participating in the wedding of some joy-driven friends in Atlanta. The R&R together was just what we needed to refuel us for the mission to which we've been called. I love that after 10-years we're really into the swing of life together, playing our positions to the glory of God. Life is full of the mundane, but as you wrote just a week ago in your annual Christmas letter to me, "The simple ease of shared tasks in the mundane translates into an ease of shared responsibility in mission." And that's what it's all about.

You still surprise me with love notes - this one written with pumpkin seeds!

FAMILY
Stella turned seven and {finally} lost her first tooth in September. Ruby turned four, but in the spring started riding her bike without training wheels at the tender age of three. Later in the year, she received her first corneal abrasion from shoving a ragged and sharp stick in her eye. Not to be out done by his older sister, Schaeffer added "first stitches" and "first black eye" to his resume. The "Parents of the Year Award" eluded us again in 2012. We went down fighting though, finally "caving" and purchasing two much desired pets - a cricket in November for an observational science experiment, and Zaccheaus, the hamster, as an over-the-top Christmas surprise.

Showing off the "gap" from the 1st of 5 teeth she lost this fall

Christian the Cricket - which environment did he consistently prefer?

Stitched up boy tightly grasping his rewards for bravery - a balloon and a sucker

"Daughters of Anarchy" as Daddy affectionately calls them

Ruby singing the Books of the New Testament while waiting to be seen by the Urgent Care Dr.

We made a few trips to the great state of Ohio :) to see our family, went to Family Camp with our church, and took a mini-vacation to Chicago. We also enjoyed several day trips to the Henry Ford/Greenfield Village throughout the year, thanks to Mom and Perry's generosity.

The old air guitar ain't what it used to be

Thankful for my tough-as-nails and meek-as-Moses Mom

Our American girls at the American Girl Restaurant in Chicago

After enjoying lunch at an old train station turned restaurant in Battle Creek

In the spring, we enrolled the girls in gymnastics for the first time, and in the fall thought we'd let them give soccer the old college try. Both loved both. Stella's team went undefeated in the regular season but lost in the championship game. She showed some improvement and potential that she can become a smart player. It's good for our girly-girl to learn more assertiveness and the other lessons playing a team sport can teach. Ruby, as unpredictable as Michigan weather, started out the season crying her way through the first game. But the determination of our sporty-girl (and her sporty-dad :)) won out and she ended the season having scored over 20 goals. The girl was a machine.

Stella chose her team's name and came up with "Yellow Jackets"

Our lightening fast girl representing "Blue Lightening"

Homeschooling has continued to stretch me and show me that each day really does have enough trouble of its own :). I'm thankful for our classical education based co-op. Ruby is enrolled in a class this year. Both girls benefit from the friendships, structured format, and excellent classes offered. And I benefit from the needed encouragement and fellowship of the other moms. 

"Symphony Symphony No. 40 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart"

Studying the artwork of Joan Miro'

Ornery pre-schoolers

Seeking the Lord together for help as we started another year

This has been the season of Narnia-love. We've read it, watched it, and listened to it. Here the kids are watching the BBC production.

MISSION

God continues to use the ministry of CBC in our lives and we enjoy the blessing of serving among such an encouraging body of believers. As I've mentioned over and over on this blog, we need these dear people in our lives. Like the early church in Acts 2, together we continue to devote ourselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. This was our fourth year of having the privilege to use our home for weekly Community Groups, sometimes hosting as many as 24 people in our small bungalow! Matt says that's like fitting 8 people into a Prius! :) We've gained precious friends this year and seen some saved, baptized, and added to the church. Watching God at work encourages us to expand our vision of all He can do through us in 2013. 

God allowed us to get involved in the pro-life movement this year, for the sake of moms and dads, and babies, and the image of God in them all. It has been an eye-opening experience. Stay tuned for more information in the year ahead as we seek to become more active in the peaceful prayer vigil known as  "40 Days for Life" outside this Abortion Clinic in Dearborn.

"Jesus took our nature in Bethlehem, to die our death in Jerusalem, that we might be fearless in our city." 

Releasing balloons in memory of the precious babies who lost their lives here.

You are not forgotten!

A few years ago, we saw the irony of being unable to really love our neighbors as the Bible commands if we didn't really know them well. So we became more intentional about showing love to our neighbors and in 2011, initiated Keppen Ave's first Block Party. It was a success, and in 2012, decided it was now an annual event!

"An army bold whose battle-cry is "Love!" reaching out to those in darkness."

 

 Thank you for sharing in our pilgrim journey this past year by reading our blog. We know the experiences of our lives really are no different than what you experience. However, it continues to be our desire that God will use us and even the commonness of our joys and sorrows to the praise of His glory and grace. 

Happy New Year from the Owen Family!