Been There, Done That

The latest Planned Parenthood campaign, strategically released a week before the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, is clever. Clever, but still not true. Propagandized with a reasonable punch, but still lacking substance.

The organization is attempting to do away with the labels "Pro-Choice" and "Pro-Life." Well, actually, it's mostly just trying to eradicate the word "life" from the argument so as to blur the lines between the two camps. It wants to portray those who stand against abortion as uncaring and judgmental and as being pro-life "in a bubble;" ignoring the paramount problems some pregnant women face. "After all," they imply, "how can you really have an objective opinion about the matter if you aren't in the woman's situation and have never 'walked in her shoes'?"

Before we get too shamed into shying away from our stand for life, let us remember a few things.

1) In our human experience, the temptations and trials we face are diverse. In other words, there are many different kinds of hard times we go through. With regard to the trials of pregnancy, it can be unexpected and unwanted. It can be a result of rape, incest, an uncommitted relationship, or just an inconvenient conception between a married couple or two committed, but unmarried, people. It can involve health risks for the mother and health complications with the baby. There are the financial issues to consider regarding prenatal and postnatal health care for both the mother and the child. And then, of course, there's the looming financial obligation to support the child once he/she is born. Varied troubles.

2) But even among such a diversity of trials just on this one topic, they are still common to us all. Has any woman you've known been through a pregnancy that put a serious strain on her health? Have you ever known a woman to have a "surprise" and even "unwanted" pregnancy? Do you know a woman who has given birth to a special needs child? Are there women in your circle of friends who have been violated by rape or suffered other heinous sexual abuse? Has anyone you know had to get extra jobs to pay for health care costs for his/her child? Have you ever known a child to put serious financial strain on a family? Has a child ever changed the trajectory of a parent's vocational path?

No doubt, you can probably answer yes to some of these questions for yourself, and definitely for those in your circle of closest friends. Admittedly, what makes the issue so complicated is that many of these diverse trials can be combined into one overwhelming circumstance for some women. But even those desperate situations are common. That's why on Tuesday, I shared my and my mom's story.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

So then, do we stand for life as uncaring and ignorant of the hardships? Not at all. Our common experiences personally and observed through our friends, acquaintances, and loved ones should, and I hope do, make us more patient, more approachable, more heartbroken, more capable of reaching out to offer comfort, and more willing to sacrifice for the good of others.

3) While our shared experiences mean a lot, it's Someone else's experience that means everything.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:15,16)

As one of my favorite songs puts it, "He walked my road and He felt my pain, joys and sorrows that I know so well. Yet His righteous steps give me hope again. I will follow my Emmanuel."

Jesus did walk in our shoes, facing our common trials and struggles and handling each one with absolute, God-satisfying perfection. He empathizes with, meaning He feels and understands, what we're going through, because He has been through it too. We are able, then, to approach God for wisely and generously distributed grace and mercy to help us in our time of need!

So, too, we are free to stand for life with understanding compassion because of similar difficulties we've encountered, and mostly because of divine help we can offer from the One who walked our path and hers.
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Join me next week for a post on the issue of ministering to post-abortive women.

Nobody Said Choosing Life Was Easy

On this 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court's landmark decision legalizing abortion on demand in all fifty states, I want to publicly thank my mom for choosing life. In doing so, I am in no way criticizing birth mothers who choose life and bravely made an adoption plan for their baby. I am also not degrading those who had an abortion and have lived with regret and remorse. I hope to write more on that later in the week. And, I am certainly not advocating that the biblical view of the married two parent family can be set aside because it's old fashioned and unnecessary in the 21st century.

What I do hope to show is that grace is greater than sin.

When I stand outside the abortion clinic in Dearborn, I see the young girls and women who pull in, alone, desperate, conflicted, and down right terrified, and imagine an 18-year-old named Jodie feeling those same things. I see one light a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling a few times, hoping to draw some courage from the nicotine to take the next few steps. I see her glance around at us there on the sidewalk, ready to offer help, and turn her head away quickly so as not to meet our eyes. Then I see her get out of her car, throw her cigarette on the ground, extinguish it with her foot, and set her gaze on the entrance door. As we call out to her, I know she wants to believe what we're saying is true. I know she wants to believe that there are other options. That even though her life will be hard, she can make it. That she really isn't alone. But she keeps moving forward anyway, trying to silence the voices. About ready to reach out for the door handle, she abruptly turns around, running back to the car with tears streaming down her face. It seems she changed her mind! She starts her car and speeds out of the parking lot.

That might seem like a happy ending. And, indeed, it certainly is for the most important chapter. But the story is nowhere near over and so I weep for her still. Because even if she chooses life and to raise her baby, I know how incredibly hard it's going to be for her. I know the jobs she'll have to settle for just to make ends meet. I know the social life she'll give up, because really, who wants to date a girl who admits she has a 1-year-old at home? I know the academic and vocational dreams that will be put on hold, some permanently, because her attention will be divided. I know the family tensions that will be present because of the constantly pressing need to find childcare and, at some points, even housing. I know the financial strain that will weigh on her day in and day out. And I know because Jodie did choose life. She allowed me to be born alive - not dead - as she could've easily done in her circumstances in 1975. And God has shown me much grace through that scared and lonely teen mom, who allowed me to take my first breath.

Not only did she give me life, but she also sustained my life. I don't believe we are captive to the doom and gloom statistics I hear regarding babies born out of unwanted pregnancies, because I believe in a God who is sovereign over statistics. He can take desperate situations and heart breaking realities and weave a beautiful tapestry, sewn with a blood-red thread, pointing to the cross that breaks the power of sin and death. He can turn the hearts of the mothers toward their children, motivated with all the natural affection common grace can offer. And I know because God did that for us. 

My mom taught me many good things precisely because of our difficult circumstances. I would not have learned these hard lessons to the same degree otherwise.

1) There is something worse than taking nine years to complete your undergrad degree. Many women have climbed the corporate ladder successfully, stepping on toes all the way up. For some women, the most injured in the process, aren't the co-workers they've jilted and undermined to get where they are. At the bottom of the corporate ladder are thousands of babies, crushed underfoot, as their moms chose their death over the potential death of their career. 

My mom's climb was incremental and slow, but as a successful business woman at age 55, she's shown me that pragmatism is no way to live your life. It's good to have big dreams, but not at all costs. She taught me it not only matters where you end up, but how you get there. And I got to have a small part in her climb.

While most parents were pulling all-nighters helping their kids complete last minute projects (and believe me, we did that too!), I was proofreading her papers. Every weekend seemed to be "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" for us. When she worked in accounting, I'd help her sort checks in numerical order, count change from the vending machines, and any other small task that would help her get it all done. I remember staying up into the wee hours to help her complete a huge project for her marketing class. Who knows how many magazines we scoured and cut our way through looking for examples of different advertising layouts. 

Mom taught me it's good to reach the top, but it's even better to get there the right way.

2) You can choose life precisely because of the Women's Rights Movement. They want you to believe having a baby will ruin you, but it is that equality for women that allows you to give birth and still have opportunity. Anne-Marie Slaughter might be right that Women Still Can't Have It All, but that doesn't mean they can't have anything. Her article was fairly pro-family for a feminist writer, but still, I shudder to think how many abortions it set in motion. Even if the "arc of a successful career" isn't just right, or in my mom's case, is completely wrong, chances are, you still have a good shot at success. 

3) Life is hard. I knew about interpersonal struggles, financial problems, death, and abandonment at a young age. My naive, rose-colored glasses of adolescence weren't in place for long. But that has been a good thing. I was under no impression that my ultimate hope was in this world. I knew how messed up it was. And in time, as God showed me where true hope could be found, I appreciated even more the bright promise of eternal life against the dark backdrop of this sinful world I knew.

So as my mom taught me, we too want our kids to know sin, in their own hearts first, has consequences. We want them to see that sin makes life hard. We even want them to see us struggle through sin and argue from time to time. Because in our marriages, families, and churches we need people who don't blush at sin.  Who aren't shocked by it, and who don't ignore, minimize, or hide it, but know how to deal with it. We need people who are less prone to throw the first stone and more prone to see the Physician came, not for the well, but for the terminally sin-sick. And that's all. of. us. We need people to love God and others much because they realize they are the ones who have been forgiven much. 

4) You can be your child's friend. It has been said that teen moms and their kids grow up together. In some sense that's true. And there are advantages to it. Like sharing clothes, shoes, and make-up! But really, in all honesty, I liked being with Mom. She told me "no" on the important things, but she also said "yes" to a lot of unimportant things. She didn't parent for my approval, but she also didn't distance herself from me. We were a team. "Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us, you and I," we'd sing in the car together. And my friends would envy our closeness as she and I would sing what we called "our song," Huey Lewis' "Happy to be Stuck With You." We even had our own choreographed hand motions to go along with it.

5) Grace overcomes guilt. Being a mom is a guilt-laden profession. I've said before, I'm only seven and a half years into it and already have a long list of regrets. I can't imagine what it must feel like to start out with the cards stacked against you, so to speak, and to be fighting an uphill battle.

But, I've seen grace abound where sin abounded. I've seen joy and peace surface where there was none before. And I've seen a mother and daughter emerge from the battle, scarred and wounded, but hand in hand, because God offers forgiveness. And, to be honest, even those wounds are sweet, because they tell of His protection when Satan would've been pleased to devour us. They point to His power to seek and save, and keep what is His, at all costs. Even His own life. And because of that very good news, Mom and I can face our past, each other, and the future, through the power of His indestructible life. 

Life. That's what this day is about. Life here and now. Fight for it. Give it. Sustain it. And eternal life to come. Preach it to yourself first, then share it with the world who so desperately needs saved from all this death.

Here Today

I know I'm a few years late to the party, but I've recently been reading Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience. She helped us have one of the most anticipatory Advent seasons to date. This woman is nothing if not passionate. And looking at her photographs actually makes me wish I lived on a farm. Wow. That's saying something. But I think it's just for the farmhouse. :)

A few weeks ago she revealed her name for the new year. I like that idea. A name for 2013 to keep my focus. A name to help me be intentional. A name to motivate. A name in her words, "as we name our newborn...so we know who it is to us. Named, we now have a destination, a way across the next twelve months."

So, after some consideration (after all, naming something is a big deal!), I've named 2013 Today. 

Because today is full of provision, problems, possibilities, and promises to get me through. When I first opened my eyes today, I knew I had another opportunity to experience God's goodness in the land of the living. And I don't want to miss it.

I want to taste the bread He gives for today. I want to watch the birds and admire the flowers and know that today He will carefully clothe and care for me even better than He does them (Matthew 6). I want to repent and experience His forgiveness for my sins, when like Peter, I deny Him at least three times today before the clock chimes 3 PM (Matthew 27). I want to see Him do remarkable things today by witnessing His power to forgive others' sins with the authority only He has (Luke 5). I want to be ready to fellowship with Him as He comes to meet me today, like He did Zaccheaus (Luke 19). And today when I hear His voice speaking to my unbelief, I won't harden my heart in sin and rebellion. And because we're all made of the same stuff, I'll encourage others to respond to Him too, while it's still called today (Hebrew 3). Even when I'm fed up and annoyed with seemingly nothing left to give, and I don't feel like encouraging others, I'll remember that today is like 1,000 years to Him and maybe I'll be patient like He is with them, willing that none should perish but that all may come to the truth (2 Peter 3). When I look at my "To Do" app with the long list under "Today", before I boast that I'm going to go here and there and do this or that, I'll humbly admit, "Only if the Lord wills" (James 4). And should today be the day I die, I want my soul to rest in Jesus' promise to the thief - and me too since I'm as vile as he - "Today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23).

"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind."

So teach me to number my todays.

But if it Dies, it Bears Much Fruit

Here is an excerpt of Steve Saint interviewing and interpreting for now redeemed and forgiven, Mincaye, who murdered Steve's father and his father's four missionary friends 57 years ago today.

The radical call for every Christian, written by Jim Elliot in his journal pictured below:

 "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

May it be so in my life, Lord Jesus.

2012: Another Year of Proving Your Presence All Our Days

MARRIAGE

Enjoying a gorgeous sunset along the gulf coast

This year we celebrated our 10-year anniversary with a trip to Florida after participating in the wedding of some joy-driven friends in Atlanta. The R&R together was just what we needed to refuel us for the mission to which we've been called. I love that after 10-years we're really into the swing of life together, playing our positions to the glory of God. Life is full of the mundane, but as you wrote just a week ago in your annual Christmas letter to me, "The simple ease of shared tasks in the mundane translates into an ease of shared responsibility in mission." And that's what it's all about.

You still surprise me with love notes - this one written with pumpkin seeds!

FAMILY
Stella turned seven and {finally} lost her first tooth in September. Ruby turned four, but in the spring started riding her bike without training wheels at the tender age of three. Later in the year, she received her first corneal abrasion from shoving a ragged and sharp stick in her eye. Not to be out done by his older sister, Schaeffer added "first stitches" and "first black eye" to his resume. The "Parents of the Year Award" eluded us again in 2012. We went down fighting though, finally "caving" and purchasing two much desired pets - a cricket in November for an observational science experiment, and Zaccheaus, the hamster, as an over-the-top Christmas surprise.

Showing off the "gap" from the 1st of 5 teeth she lost this fall

Christian the Cricket - which environment did he consistently prefer?

Stitched up boy tightly grasping his rewards for bravery - a balloon and a sucker

"Daughters of Anarchy" as Daddy affectionately calls them

Ruby singing the Books of the New Testament while waiting to be seen by the Urgent Care Dr.

We made a few trips to the great state of Ohio :) to see our family, went to Family Camp with our church, and took a mini-vacation to Chicago. We also enjoyed several day trips to the Henry Ford/Greenfield Village throughout the year, thanks to Mom and Perry's generosity.

The old air guitar ain't what it used to be

Thankful for my tough-as-nails and meek-as-Moses Mom

Our American girls at the American Girl Restaurant in Chicago

After enjoying lunch at an old train station turned restaurant in Battle Creek

In the spring, we enrolled the girls in gymnastics for the first time, and in the fall thought we'd let them give soccer the old college try. Both loved both. Stella's team went undefeated in the regular season but lost in the championship game. She showed some improvement and potential that she can become a smart player. It's good for our girly-girl to learn more assertiveness and the other lessons playing a team sport can teach. Ruby, as unpredictable as Michigan weather, started out the season crying her way through the first game. But the determination of our sporty-girl (and her sporty-dad :)) won out and she ended the season having scored over 20 goals. The girl was a machine.

Stella chose her team's name and came up with "Yellow Jackets"

Our lightening fast girl representing "Blue Lightening"

Homeschooling has continued to stretch me and show me that each day really does have enough trouble of its own :). I'm thankful for our classical education based co-op. Ruby is enrolled in a class this year. Both girls benefit from the friendships, structured format, and excellent classes offered. And I benefit from the needed encouragement and fellowship of the other moms. 

"Symphony Symphony No. 40 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart"

Studying the artwork of Joan Miro'

Ornery pre-schoolers

Seeking the Lord together for help as we started another year

This has been the season of Narnia-love. We've read it, watched it, and listened to it. Here the kids are watching the BBC production.

MISSION

God continues to use the ministry of CBC in our lives and we enjoy the blessing of serving among such an encouraging body of believers. As I've mentioned over and over on this blog, we need these dear people in our lives. Like the early church in Acts 2, together we continue to devote ourselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. This was our fourth year of having the privilege to use our home for weekly Community Groups, sometimes hosting as many as 24 people in our small bungalow! Matt says that's like fitting 8 people into a Prius! :) We've gained precious friends this year and seen some saved, baptized, and added to the church. Watching God at work encourages us to expand our vision of all He can do through us in 2013. 

God allowed us to get involved in the pro-life movement this year, for the sake of moms and dads, and babies, and the image of God in them all. It has been an eye-opening experience. Stay tuned for more information in the year ahead as we seek to become more active in the peaceful prayer vigil known as  "40 Days for Life" outside this Abortion Clinic in Dearborn.

"Jesus took our nature in Bethlehem, to die our death in Jerusalem, that we might be fearless in our city." 

Releasing balloons in memory of the precious babies who lost their lives here.

You are not forgotten!

A few years ago, we saw the irony of being unable to really love our neighbors as the Bible commands if we didn't really know them well. So we became more intentional about showing love to our neighbors and in 2011, initiated Keppen Ave's first Block Party. It was a success, and in 2012, decided it was now an annual event!

"An army bold whose battle-cry is "Love!" reaching out to those in darkness."

 

 Thank you for sharing in our pilgrim journey this past year by reading our blog. We know the experiences of our lives really are no different than what you experience. However, it continues to be our desire that God will use us and even the commonness of our joys and sorrows to the praise of His glory and grace. 

Happy New Year from the Owen Family!

Hope for Every Nation: Some Postage-Free Ways to Encourage Your Missionaries This Holiday Season

From the very beginning of Jesus' entrance into the world, we see God's promise being fulfilled that with Him would come hope for ALL the nations, not just Israel.

“Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews?” —Matthew 2:1–2

Unlike Luke, Matthew does not tell us about the shepherds coming to visit Jesus in the stable. His focus is immediately on foreigners coming from the east to worship Jesus. So Matthew portrays Jesus at the beginning and ending of his Gospel as a universal Messiah for the nations, not just for Jews. Here the first worshipers are court magicians or astrologers or wise men not from Israel but from the East—perhaps from Babylon. They were Gentiles. And at the end of Matthew, the last words of Jesus are, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations. (Excerpt From: Piper, John. “Good News of Great Joy.” Desiring God, 2012.)

Praise God, the door has been opened for all to come near to God through Jesus! As we are busy here with our own disciple-making endeavors, this is a perfect time to remember our dear missionaries - the ones who are in different nations preaching gospel-hope to those nations!

Perhaps there is no other time during the year that a missionary feels more displaced than the holiday season. Their hearts will ache as they see their kids struggle with missing their grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins. They'll long for those special holiday dishes that their limited grocery access or budget (since American food is so expensive abroad) won't allow them to enjoy. The shipping rates are outrageous for many of them but they'll try to give their third culture kids a similar kind of Christmas they might have stateside. They will do this all while bearing their own burdens from the heavy load and stress of missionary living. But, they will do it without complaining. They knew this was part of the cost of leaving the comforts of home and the people they love most for something even better - seeing "the nations prove the glories of His righteousness and wonders of His love!"

So, here are a few *postage-free ways we might encourage our co-laborers in the gospel heading into the new year:

1) Did you know most of our missionaries have a Facebook account? Why not "friend" them and use this aspect of social media to send an encouraging greeting from your family to theirs? And have you noticed the "Gift" tab on your friends' walls? You can easily send gifts to missionary deputees and those home on furlough via this option. An email with the redemption information will be sent to their inbox. What coast to coast traveler can't use some Starbucks coffee to keep him/her awake?! Also, friending them on Facebook will help you know how best to pray for them in their current situations - like the Huffstutlers in Kenya with little Makalya just being diagnosed with viral pneumonia. (Keep posts on their walls general since some of them may be friends with those they are trying to evangelize. Also, don't forget to mention what church you're from to help put a face with a name.)

2) Purchase an iTunes gift card for them. Then send them the account number for it via Facebook message or email.

3) Pray Scripture for them and then encourage them by typing out or pasting from Bible Gateway the verses/passages you prayed.

4) Get your family and friends from church together to create a youtube video greeting for them.

5) Not everyone is in the jungle, so why not call a local pizza place near some church planters your church supports and pay to have a pizza delivered to their house or a fruit bouquet or a seasonal flower arrangement? Stateside church-planters need encouragement too!

6) Give this inexpensive booklet, "Gospel Meditations for Missions," as a stocking stuffer to yourself :) or your spouse or even your teen. Although your missionaries will not know you have purchased it, they will benefit from your use of it! Inter-City Christian Bookstore in Allen Park has plenty available for purchase. Here's the link so you know what you're looking for: http://www.churchworksmedia.com/2011/12/03/gospel-meditations-for-missions/

7) If your missionaries serve in the UK, you can check http://www.amazon.co.uk/ to find if they have created a wish list. You can then purchase something off their list and it will be shipped to them directly from the UK.

8) Pick-up the "Missions Prayer Guide" at your church and commit to praying more regularly for them throughout the new year.

Let's spread some joy to those spreading the greatest Joy to the world!
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*Some ideas from desiringgod.org

A Severe December

I can still see her beautiful face smiling at us through one of the windows in her front door as she waved to us through the other. She stood there until our car was out of sight.

With her eyes still on the road, Mom took the money Grandma gave us to buy a Christmas tree and stuck it in her wallet. When Grandma found out we needed money that night she didn't judge or lecture. She just gave and sent us on our way, loving unconditionally.

So off we went, hoping our loaned clunker of a car would make it to the roadside Christmas tree stand and home. Our hearts were lighter after seeing Grandma. She always seemed to make things better. It wasn't the money she gave. That actually didn't happen very often. It was her perspective that made the difference. Because of her hope in Jesus, she had a confidence and security that was a testimony to us, her single-parent daughter and timid granddaughter, in our uncertain world.

Mom and I sang Christmas songs as we drove and felt some of the anticipation of the season begin to well in our hearts. December was here! Maybe there would be snow! And only a few more weeks until I'd be out of school for break. We'd be together as a family for the holidays. It really was the most wonderful time of year!

Just a few short days later, the morning of December 13, Uncle Tommy and Aunt Brenda sent their precious bundled up Brienne, my cousin (although I loved that people often mistook us for sisters), off to her kindergarten class with her teacher, our beloved Grandma. Brienne had been rehearsing her lines for the upcoming Christmas program and knew them by memory. Christmas was just around the corner and there was so much to look forward to. Although, to a five year old, waiting a week and a half to open presents seemed like ages! Oh, the wonder of December!

But, the paradox of Christmas is that her inevitable companions are the best and worst of times. Polar opposites find common ground in December.

In an instant, a patch of ice coupled with snow accumulation caused Grandma's car to flip, spinning across the road and landing upside down in a nearby creek. Oh, the horror of December!

The shopping we expected to be doing in December wasn't for caskets. The snow crunching walks, arms linked with our loved ones, weren't supposed to reach two freshly dug graves. The anticipation shouldn't have been the terror of facing another day in this harsh new reality. Oh, December is severe!

But, as we would come to find out, so is mercy.

"[T]hough he was God, [He] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself [of all that was rightly His as God], by being born in the likeness of men." (Philippians 2:6,7)

Jesus, born like us. A tiny helpless baby. It just doesn't seem right. The God who for eternity past never needed anything, now had human needs - like milk, like rest, like warmth. He who only knew self-sufficiency was now dependent. He who never knew the force of physical pain, or the drain of fighting temptation, or the throbbing headache and sick stomach and wet cheeks from weeping in deepest sorrow, now entered fallen time and space. The infinite humbled himself to experience all the burdens of the finite. Why did he willingly subject Himself to this severity?

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are tempted." (Hebrews 2:14-18)

Tempted to what? Try and "whip God" by charging him with injustice? Grandpa found He could help with that. Tempted to lose confidence that he really is good? He's also able to help with that. Tempted to think He's not powerful enough to stop bad things from happening? There's help for that too.

If God subjected Jesus to such severity so He could show us mercy, how will he not also graciously give us all things? Like peace. Like a deep rooted joy. Like a lasting comfort. Like strength for today. Like eternal hope for the future. Like a secure, inseparable love. Like grace upon grace.

December is here. But, thank God, because of our faithful grief-bearing, sorrow-carrying Jesus, there are mercies inexhaustible, new every morning, ready for us each day of this wonderfully severe month.

He Lives This Life of Grace Through All His Years

You might recognize this blog title as a line from an oldie, but a goodie, "Mark of a Man of God" by Steve Camp. That song takes me back to 11 years ago during your first year of seminary when you and Kevin Ball would blare it in your rental on University and then humble your hearts in earnest prayer that God would make you both into godly men like the song praises.

I'm a witness, honey, that God is answering your prayer. Today, on your birthday, in the spirit of Hebrews 13:7, I want to remember and honor you as one of God's appointed leaders in my life who speak the word of God to me. I want to consider the outcome of your way of life and by God's grace imitate your faith.

I know exactly what you are thinking because I know you better than anyone. "I'm the last person you should imitate." But as one of our favorites has recently pointed out, "God uses crooked sticks to draw straight lines." And He is drawing straight lines with your life.

I see your passion for those who don't know Christ and I'm compelled to tell others too. I see how you tirelessly work to draw others in and extend friendship and I'm motivated to move outside my comfort zone and reach out as well. I see how you respond in times of uncertainty when you're tempted to judge God with your senses but instead trust Him for grace. I see your brokenness as you face your sin and your determination to remedy those holes in your holiness. I see your love for the gospel and how it becomes sweeter to you with each passing year. I see you put your hand over your mouth when God is "crossing the fair designs you've schemed" and submit because you know He's working to release you from yourself and pride. And I've seen you fight for the joy of finding your all in Him.

Today marks 33 years for you. Of course as we celebrate your birthday we'll be celebrating the gift of life God has given you. But also remember to celebrate your death. "For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:3) Reminding yourself of your union with Christ is what will ensure you continue to draw straight lines and keep the faith. It will help you set the mark as I, and at least three others I know, keep the pace.

Happy Birthday to a godly man!

The Owen Homeschool Rises

The Second Grade's Shining Star

She's ready to punctuate sentences, divide and multiply, stop cursing "pre-cursive" handwriting,  leave a few less books unread in the world, and embrace flying creatures of the 5th day. Starting with this one... 

The Batgirl Preschooler 

Why's she so serious? Because phonics is no joke to her. Numbers and shapes aren't the bane of her existence. This caped crusader is ready to make the halls of the Owen house cleared of thugs. Starting with this one... 

 

The Two {Faced} Year Old

This kid can't be trusted. He'll wink at you with one eye while the other is scanning your purse for gum he can confiscate while the rest of the family is enthralled with Lucy and Mr. Tumnus. He'll flash a wrinkled nose smile and blow you kisses before eating your chap stick and body slamming your baby doll. Heads he takes your toy with a grin...tails he takes your toy anyway. He can charm most everyone, except for this one...


Commissioner Caffeine

[reading from the book "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens] "I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss. I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy. I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."

Shine Like a Star

On Thursday morning, July 28, 2005, I was 3 days past my due date. I was permanently walking in a wading pool also known as my ankles. I could've been confused with a certain large "house" in Ann Arbor. And I was in Dr. Schiebout's office begging her to induce me.

She had pity on my pathetic self, and later that evening, we first laid eyes on your beautiful face. I had no idea what in the world I had gotten myself into. I remember catching your eye from your little crib beside my bed at the hospital, and feeling sorry for you that you were stuck with me as your mother. It was like an awkward introduction where no one really knows what to say or where to go from there. And I really didn't. I felt very ill-equipped for the task of being a mom.


So my nightstand was tipping with the books I would consult when you made the littlest wimper or did something (everything!) I couldn't interpret. I wrote down how many wet and dirty diapers you had per day like I was an accountant balancing the books. Ammy was staying with us to help and it was all hands on deck for even the simplest task.

I laugh now thinking back on how hard everything seemed to be. And although I certainly wasn't a "natural" at much of anything maternal, God has graciously helped me these past seven years, and we've made it this far by His grace. He knows a little something about nurturing and caring for children, after all, and it's only been true of my experience that "He gently leads those that have young." (Isaiah 40:11b) (So take heart you overwhelmed first-time moms and soon-to-be moms! Look to Him!)

Seven years! Wow. I remember not wanting to put you down in your crib at night because I knew in the morning you'd be bigger than you were the night before. And now you are so tall you almost come to my shoulders. You're not only getting bigger physically but you're also continuing to grow in your maturity. I think I almost burst into tears on the spot this week when I heard you tell Ruby, "I used to like playing princess but I just don't anymore." Where is the time going?!

This past year our relationship took a bit of a twist as I also became your First Grade Teacher. You were an eager learner and a diligent listener. I admire those qualities in you. It's rare you meet a topic about which you don't want to know more. For the most part, it is as rewarding being your teacher as it is being your mom. I love the little notes you leave me on the back of your tests, "I love you, Ma!" and "I hate Math!" And the note you taped above my desk, "You're the best reading teacher ever." It's a joy hearing you say, "I get it! I get it so much!", when I'm explaining a concept to you.

I mentioned here one of the biggest thrills of the year has been watching you devour books. It all came together for you this year, and you would think you had popped an extra appendage from your body since a book is so frequently in your hand! From Paddington to Pippi, to The Sign of the Beaver and The Secret Garden, you can't get enough. You think so much about what you're reading and I love hearing it come out as we go through our days. Like last week when we passed a combine doing its thing on the farm (a country girl I am not!) and you talked about Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh scurrying for safety. And the other night when you handed me the green pepper you just washed and exclaimed, "It's a pig and pepper!", referencing a chapter in Alice in Wonderland.

But, as a friend so aptly put it, "Most importantly we learn to read so we can read the Bible." Several months ago you initiated reading through the Bible in 2-years and have done a pretty good job persevering in that endeavor. My love for Scripture is being renewed as I hear you learn and apply it to your life. "I started Luke last night and the story of Jesus just starts over again. I didn't expect that!" So we had a good conversation about the purpose of the Synoptics, to which you replied, "I get it! I get it so much!" :) Then another time, your humble realization, "I need to read Proverbs, Psalms, and Ecclesiastes and the [other] Wisdom Books because wisdom is what I need!" And, we love hearing our timid girl apply the Word to scary things. "I told myself tonight when I was riding my bike, that even if I wreck, I'm good, because to die is gain for me!"

Much to our delight, dying really is gain for you now after you made a profession of faith early last fall. Since then, I can't help but think of our Stella, whose name means "star," being one of the numerous stars Abraham saw when God gave him that bursting-with-hope promise long ago, recorded for us in Genesis 15:5: "[God] took [Abraham] outside and said, 'Look up at the heavens and count the stars--if indeed you can count them.' Then he said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.'" As pastor and author Marty Machowski writes, "God had an even bigger family in mind when he said that Abraham would be the father of a multitude...God calls everyone who follows Jesus a [child] of Abraham (Galatians 3:7)."

As you know, Jesus, the bright Morning Star, has now given you, our star, a mission. He has called you to hold firmly to the word of life, so you can shine among this generation like a star in the sky. (Phil 2:15,16) So shine brightly for Jesus, Stella Grace! Don't put that light under a bowl. Shine it out in the open for everyone to see and believe for themselves how great your Savior is! (Matthew 5:15, 16)

Godly Women Are Even Stronger Than Spiderman

As I lie here next to you in our cabin at camp, we are experiencing the calm following the storm of your not being able to go back to the pool after lunch so you can take a nap. I don't have the covers pulled over me and in true Ruby fashion you notice and reach for them, trying to make sure I'm warm enough.

My sadness over celebrating your fourth birthday catches me off guard. These past years with you have been long in some respects, but I'm not quite ready to leave them behind. You have really been my Ruby - a mama's girl through and through. I will miss your tiny frame curled up in my lap, hanging off my leg, plastered against me, reaching up for me. I'll miss hearing those needy cries for "Mama!" in your sweet little voice. Like when, a few months ago, you called for me at 4 AM because your back was itching.

But you're getting bigger - in years anyway- even though the scale doesn't show it much. You're riding your bike without training wheels and scaling 15 foot fences. I know you'll tackle this next phase with even more determination and less need for me, and I think that's what makes me sad. And, to be honest, a little bit fearful. As those feelings surface, God takes me back to our beginning.

Early Lessons Still Carrying Me Through

My pregnancy with you was one of the most fearful times of my life. I was so scared of losing another baby. We were pretty sure we found the problem as to why my body terminated our two previous pregnancies but weren't sure I would respond to the treatment prescribed. So, over and over, I committed you to God's care and rested in wisdom not my own. I cannot count the many roller coaster ultrasounds, NSTs, and other tests we went through with some disconcerting results. Finally, when they decided to take you two weeks early, even the doctors were relieved to get the pregnancy over with and get you into my arms as soon as possible! We had all had enough of your shenanigans! Little did I know they were really just beginning! 

You came out looking so much like your dad, complete with the strawberry blond hair he had as a baby. I didn't want you out of my sight. The nurse bathing you couldn't believe how strong you were - amazingly so since you were just a tiny 6 pounder. And I couldn't believe how angry you were! Most babies are fine with colostrum. But I think you cried the entire 36 hours until you got milk. So much so, your dad tried rolling you into our bathroom at the hospital to give us a break from your screaming. Oh, Ruby! How well acquainted we've become with that angry scream over the years!

You walked early and showed good coordination for a toddler, often motivating your 3-years-older- than-you sister to try new things in order to keep up with you. You have been known to ascend the shopping cart at the grocery store, impressing the cashier as you lift what seems to be twice your body weight in groceries loading the conveyor belt for me. It really wasn't that surprising when two different times this past year in gymnastics your coach told me, "She's going to be really good. She's fearless, she's flexible, she listens, she's coordinated. And she's only three." He encouraged me to help you pursue gymnastics more seriously. Your interest in physical activities coupled with your thrill for adventure has drawn you to the likes of Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. You are always dressing up like a superhero pretending to climb walls, leap buildings, get the mean guys, and "fight, fight, fight." If you aren't in your superhero get-up you'll often be found wearing tennis shoes, a baseball cap, your Buckeyes t-shirt, and jeans. I'll never forget the time you told me you didn't want to go to church if you couldn't wear your beloved tennis shoes!

I'll admit, this past year with you has been another one of growth and learning for me. I thought I knew how to start a little girl down the path of femininity toward biblical womanhood. But that was before I encountered a Ruby. As is your modus operendi, you continue to shake things up for me and keep me returning to those early lessons of committing you to God's care and trusting in wisdom not my own!


Strong Arming the Caricature

As I mentioned here, I used this book as a devotional early on with Stella and now with you. As you've become more verbal you've let me know how much you dislike it. I began to look at it thru your eyes and realize that you do not connect at all with the soft pastel colors and the pearls and lace pictures. And actually the more I looked at them, I realized that the matchy-matchiness kind of annoys me too. I've heard many a woman confuse the character of a godly woman with a certain type of outward appearance and specific personality traits. The pictures in the book are a caricature I want to avoid portraying to you as you set out learning what it really means to be a godly woman. But, what I do love about the book, and what you need to learn from it, is what God wants us to strive to be as women found in the ideal of the woman with the panoply of Christian virtue from Proverbs 31. So, I try to keep the necessary message of Scripture, but every application ends with us flexing our muscles and saying something like, "Godly women are strong women because Jesus was strong for them and helps them...work hard...be dependable...plan ahead...fear the Lord...trust Him with the future." And, much to my chagrin, all of this muscle flexing has been quite convicting to me.


I've been forced to deal with the question if when you look at my life you see a woman who is using her femininity for tough gospel-living? Or do you see a woman preoccupied with flowery beds of ease like the latest recipes, decorating techniques, beauty regimens, TV shows, fashion trends, fitness pursuits, or good, but distracted, priorities? I want you to see me doing hard things for God's glory. I want you to see me doing things that Candice Olson, Giada De Laurentiis, and the average soccer mom across the street can't do. And that's using my womanhood, and the roles and responsibilities that come with it, to draw attention to a God who has called me to go against what the culture (and even Christian culture) says a woman needs to do and should be. Yes, I need to care for my family and create a home for them - and I want to do it creatively and enjoy the tasks - but I don't want that to be the be sum of my womanhood. How much I will have missed the point of God's design if it is!

Why Is This So Important, Anyway?

So what is the point of God's design and why is it paramount for you to learn and for me to model? Because, as John Piper describes here, "True womanhood is a distinctive calling of God to display the glory of His Son in ways that would not be displayed if there were no womanhood...our womanhood was made for the glory of Christ." If showing the greatness of Christ is at stake, it's a very big deal for us to get it right!

One way I can know I'm getting it right is by following the inspired example of women in the Bible.

Take Hannah. Devastated by years of unfulfilled longings and enduring the mockery and taunting of Penina. Yet the persistence of the trials softened her rough edges evidenced by her gracious response to Eli when he accused her of being drunk. There's a strong, persevering woman who allowed a trial to have it's full, God-intended effect. (Listen here for more exposition on the life of Hannah.)

Then there's Esther. Having a beauty regimen was a priority of hers, but more importantly, we remember her because she had guts for God's glory. She risks her life for the sake of God's name and the good of God's people, saying, "If I perish, I perish."

And how can we forget Mary, Jesus' mother? She, the finite, gave birth to the infinite, making her interactions and relationship with her God-man son perplexing, for sure. There were still so many unanswered questions and things she didn't understand about Him and the big picture of God's plan. But she trusted, and amazingly enough, not only submitted to Him herself, but encouraged others to as well. "Do whatever he tells you to do," she instructs the servants in John 2. As a young girl, she had learned that the strength of a woman following God wasn't in demanding her rights, but in surrendering her rights to His way in faith even without seeing the end. "I am the Lord's servant...May your word to me be fulfilled." (Luke 1)

We can also get it right by following the example of women through church history.

I think of Ann Judson, wife of imprisoned missionary to Burma, Adoniram Judson. I thought being pregnant was difficult, but when she was pregnant, "she walked two miles daily to the palace to plead that Judson was not a spy [the charges for which he was being wrongly imprisoned] and that they should have mercy." After their daughter, Maria, was born, "Ann was almost as sick and thin as her [gaunt] husband, but she still pursued him, with her baby, to take care of him as she could. Her milk dried up, and the jailer had mercy on them and actually let Judson take the baby each evening into the village fettered and beg for women to nurse his baby. On November 4, 1825, Judson was suddenly released...The long ordeal was over - seventeen months in prison on the brink of death, with his wife sacrificing herself and her baby to care for him as she could. Ann's health was broken. Eleven months later she died. And six months later their daughter died." Were their lives given in vain? More likely God used a relentless woman, committed to her husband and their gospel labors, to continue the pattern of suffering "for spiritual breakthrough in a dark and unreached place. " (Piper, Filling Up the Afflictions of Christ, 100-101)

And my heroine, Elisabeth Elliot. Her husband is murdered by a savage people. She and her toddler daughter go live among the murderers because she knows God is powerful enough to change their murderous hearts into God-loving hearts. He isn't getting their worship and she knows He deserves it.

And lastly, we can get it right by looking around us at the godly friends God has given us through the churches of which we've been part.

There's CiCi, our 40-something recently widowed friend with two young kids who tells me, "Erica, through this all, the phrase I often say is, "'Lord, I can't wait to see what You're going to do and how You're going to use it!"' It reminds me Who holds today and tomorrow."

We can watch Liz, wife and mom of 4 kids, who is moving to what would be considered an "unsafe" area in Detroit to reach the neglected and poverty-stricken with the gospel riches they can have in Christ.

And Carol, a missionary our church supports, who just finished an over 3-year battle with a tumor in her jaw which required numerous surgeries with the expected pain, embarassing physical side effects, and a radically restricted diet. Her medical care requires extended separation from those she loves most - her husband and kids. During all of the physical trials, her Dad passes away. This, added with previous difficulties of losing children during pregnancy, trying church circumstances when her husband was a pastor, and a house fire, and you see her life depicting the hymn line "when sorrows like sea billows roll." She barely has enough time to stand before another wave of sorrow comes crashing in. But she knows that through many hardships she must enter the kingdom (Acts 14:22). This is the often the cost of bringing the gospel to the nations and she still says, "Here am I! Send me!" 

True Strength and Super-Power

 So, my dear Ruby, I know you are impressed with the exploits of Spiderman and his friends. But there's a real life, not a make believe one, waiting for you with adventure and toughness that not even the likes of Spidey can sustain. It's the life of being a Christian woman. A strong Christian woman, with all the power that raised Jesus from the dead at work within you and through you! So, receive this power, my strong girl, and use your womanhood to attempt seemingly impossible feats for Jesus - turning not just buildings upside down, but the whole world upside down, for the sake of His name! "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses...to the ends of the earth." (Acts 1:8)