Christmas and the Success of Missions

Praying for a missionary friend in Africa to have safety out of South Sudan and for some workers in Central Asia to continue to have open doors for the gospel, my heart burst with hope yesterday morning when the kids and I huddled around our daily Advent reading. (For weeks now we've been having picnic breakfasts on the floor circling the vent in our living room. For some reason the dining room table - just a few feet away - seems so cold and the chairs so far apart. And we need to be close. We need to bond in the warmth of together before we have to go our separate ways out in the bitterness of the frigid world.)

Jesus, "a light for the Gentiles." (Luke 2:32) The Holy Spirit gave Simeon just what Jesus' parents needed to hear that day. I know the proud parent look. But their look wasn't tinged with all the bias a mother boasts. Their eyes were opened to see beyond the world they knew so well. Theirs was a penitent gaze of worshipful awe hearing again who their Son was and what he would one day do. This child, in the Jewish temple, already fulfilling all righteousness according to the Law of Moses, would reach far outside the bounds of Israel with his ministry. As a matter of fact, his light of hope would shine so brightly, all nations would see it.

And I marveled again that Christmas is all about the success of missions. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, under the law, to redeem those under the law, he was making a way for the Gentiles to glorify God for his mercy.

“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name.”

And again it is said, “Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people.”

And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and let all the peoples extol him.”

And again Isaiah says, “The root of Jesse will come, even he who arises to rule the Gentiles; in him will the Gentiles hope.” (Romans 15:9-12)

So, this Christmas, dear exhausted, fearful, lonely, sorrowful, homesick, missionary friends, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13)

Hallelujah! Light Has Come!

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Happy Birthday

to you.

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Believing Thomas

[Thomas] said to [the other disciples], “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Then [Jesus] said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; but blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:25, 27-29)

Too often I can relate to the infamously nicknamed "Doubting Thomas" in the verses above -- the one who needed to see before he believed.

But I knew a Thomas who believed without seeing. He believed Jesus was all he claimed to be and did all he claimed to do because that's what the Bible taught and that was enough. He believed those things with some questions still unanswered and some hopes still unfulfilled.

Not anymore though. Today he sees face to face.

He knew there was a seeing with the eyes of his heart first that was more important than seeing with his physical eyes. And I know he'd want me to tell you, as well, to, "[S]ee that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:8)

Happy 53rd Birthday, to the uncle who pulled my first loose teeth, showed me how to rake leaves, and most importantly, taught me how to walk by faith.

Thomas Robert Neuhart

October 8, 1960 - October 2, 2013

Uncle Tommy and Aunt Brenda with Ruby in 2008

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Be Still, My Soul

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Growing Love and Growing Up

Photo: Zachery David Photography

I watch your long sun-kissed arms gracefully comb through your sandy brown hair. You evaluate your face in the mirror and ask about plucking your eyebrows. Then you strike a pose, looking back at yourself, and ask me what I think of that "look."

I try not to panic as the stage of "tween" has now entered our lives. We moms resist labels that claim our kids. But at least it helps me know where we're headed and make a plan for how to get there and beyond. Because really there's no getting there and back. From the two lines on the pregnancy stick to now, the lines keep moving forward.

I try to stop the camera shutter of my mind from getting stuck on the image of that round, bald baby girl looking back at me, brown eyes all aglow - the first eyes that lit up when they met mine. Because I loved you so much then and I never want to forget those precious years. But I can't let myself stay there. So, I adjust my view to the growing girl I see in the mirror today and renew my commitment to love you now, as an eight-year-old, and all that means for the next twelve months.

I have a feeling I'll have to keep doing that in the years ahead. It wasn't so hard to love you when the rewards were high. Yes, the work was intense, but the coos and kisses, celebrations of developmental milestones, sweet tangled words and I admit, my level of control over your life, helped get me through those early years. But things are quickly changing and my love has to mature along with you.

I've heard many wives put it this way, "I thought I loved him when we first got married, but now I realize I had no clue what love was. The depth of my love for him now doesn't even compare to that early love we had." And I fear as a parent, I too face a similar temptation to love you in a shallow, self-focused way. Like with every other area of my life, I have to remind myself that parenting, and our relationship, isn't about how it makes me look and feel.

So, you're stuck with my love and all the manifestations it must take through the years to help you on to God. If you disrespect me, and use words I never dreamed could come out of that mouth I used to spoon feed, I'll love you still. And if you hurt the reputation of our family by falling into temptations we taught you to resist, I'll love you still. And if you question and doubt the God you so easily profess and follow now, I'll love you still. Because as you grow up, I have to put your childish ways - the ones I love to linger over - behind me and love and treat you like the age you are, not the age I might wish you still were.

My growing love has to warn you then, Stella Grace, that the world wants you to grow up in all the wrong ways. I watch your peers and those just a few years older than you walk around the mall or down the street and see what they think it means. They believe they can have the revealing look and lifestyle without the heartbreaking consequences. The money without the hard work. The scholarship without the training. The relationships without the commitment. The privileges without the responsibility.

But I agree with the writer of Hebrews and "expect better things in your case, things that have to do with salvation...to show diligence to the very end [even through the t(w)een years!], so that what you hope for may be fully realized. [N]ot to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." (Hebrews 6:9,11,12)

So, this is one way I show love to you at age eight: I speak the truth to you and tell you real growing up is growing in every way to be more and more like Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)

Now grow, Sweet Girl! I mean really grow. Because when growing up is defined in those terms, how could I even want to hold you back?

 

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Happy 4th of July!

Presidents from Erica Owen on Vimeo.

 

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Breaking Molds and Taking Numbers

Zachery David Photography

When your birthday rolls around every year and I ponder the focus of my post for you, I notice that the opening line in my head is always the same, "Oh, Ruby!" But after I recover from the initial exasperation I feel, I'm eventually able to collect some thoughts. Your dad and I laughed together about my inclination and I wondered to him if that's one reason God commands parents not to exasperate their children...because children so take the wind out of their parents' sails, it makes sense our temptation would be to respond in kind. And boy do we need supernatural help not to! Whew. Christian parenting is all of grace!

So, Ruby Jean, now that your Mama has caught her breath, I do have a few things to say to you on this milestone birthday.

I guess this post could be a sequel to your birthday post from a year ago. More kicking over icons and helping you derive your identity from Scripture. That's the way you roll. Breaking molds and taking numbers.

As we observed a sporting event not too long ago, I heard a Christian say something to the effect, "It's okay if girls aren't aggressive in sports because according to the Bible women aren't supposed to be aggressive." That statement rubbed me the wrong way when I heard it and as I've thought more about it I realize how strongly I disagree. Don't get me wrong. It's one thing if our kids, boys or girls, don't excel in athletics because they just aren't into getting elbowed or kicked or hit with the ball or don't have the ability or coordination to be competitive. But the statement went beyond that.

Yes, I've read the verses commending a gentle and quiet spirit in women, but gentleness doesn't mean weakness and quietness doesn't mean passivity. I would argue that it in fact takes assertiveness, and even aggression, to conquer those rebel powers that would incline a woman to respond otherwise. And, as I mentioned last year, that's the problem I have with some teaching I've heard targeting Christian women. It holds up a personality quality as the goal not a divine work of the Spirit. That kind of teaching goes beyond Scripture and turns into a form of oppressing women instead of freeing them to depend on their standing before God in Christ as the basis for their ability to bear fruit in keeping with His Spirit - like the fruit of gentleness. Which, by the way, is a fruit men should be bearing too.

So, Baby Girl, get this straight. Jesus doesn't want to give you a different personality. He wants to give you a new heart. His Spirit will soften you and change you in marvelously unexpected ways. But, He's made you aggressive, and although it's exhausting now, I don't want you to lose your fight because you think that's what Christian women do at a certain point in their sanctification process. Make no mistake, God wants Christian women to be aggressive. These are just a few ways it shows.

1) Christian women kill sin.

You can't miss the overwhelming number of commands in Scripture given to the entire body of Christ, men and women alike, telling us to conquer and fight. We are in a war and need to have what John Piper calls a "wartime mentality."

"Until you believe that life is war – that the stakes are your soul – you will probably just play at Christianity with no bloodearnestness and no vigilance and no passion and no wartime mindset...There is a mean, violent streak in the true Christian life! But violence against whom, or what? Not other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in us that would be violent to other people. It's a violence against all the impulses in our own selves that would make peace with our own sin and settle in with a peacetime mentality. It's a violence against all lust in ourselves, and enslaving desires...Christianity is not a settle-in-and-live-at-peace-with-this-world-the-way-it-is kind of religion. If by the Spirit you kill the deeds of your own body, you will live. Christianity is war. On our own sinful impulses." (How to Kill Sin, Part 2)

Use your aggression, Tough Girl, to make war in the right ways and against the right things!

2) Christian women boldly give the gospel.

"Missionary life is simply a chance to die." Amy Carmichael, Missionary to India

As your mom, I had mixed emtions seeing the intensity with which you watched the Frontline Missions DVD during our Community Group meeting in December. It was hard to watch because the radical call of taking the gospel to the nations is portrayed accurately. But you gazed at that TV with barely a blink. I knew the risk of it all was appealing to you and even though you may have a lump in your throat from fear, you were drawn to the possibility of putting it all on the line for the greatest cause.

That's pretty typcial. You seem to leave your hard-core game on the floor in your short sports career and in life in general. You scored a couple goals this past soccer season although you were quite a bit smaller and younger than most of your opponets. But what made us most proud was one of your conversations off the field with your new friend and teammate. You asked him if he knew Jesus. Your dad and I smiled at the irony of your unregenerate evangelistic zeal, but also noticed what this reveals about your boldness. You don't shy away from confrontation. We love that fire and pray God will make you a righteous woman who's as bold as a lion for Him!

We only half-jokingly say about you, "This girl's going to do something big. It's just a matter of whether it will be good or bad, at this point." But then we comfort ourselves with the reality that we have great hope in God concerning you and entrust your little flash of blond hair and blue eyes and muscle bound legs to the One who's stronger still. You're always safe with Him. And that's why, although still with a fearful lump in this Mama's throat, we eagerly anticipate the day you too will embrace your chance to die for His glory to be revealed to the nations.

3) Christian women exercise dominion.

God wants Christian women to play their position aggressively. As you grow up in Post-Christian America, it's going to get blurrier and blurrier exactly what that looks like even in the so-called church. So be tethered to the ultimate Authority on ths subject. Don't let culture set your plays.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

Mark Chanski writes in his book Womanly Dominion:

"[A] woman is to dominate aggressively her environment, rather than allow her environment to dominate her. She needs to work and play with a win it instead of with a surrender it mindset. She must rule and subdue rather than letting herself be ruled and subdued. God has commissioned her to assert herself aggressively as a master over the teeming spheres of her life. God has not assigned her to sit on her porch swing with a pink parasol daydreaming what she might do "if only" the obstacles weren't so complicated. No! She's to get out there and do it with all her might!"

Imitate God by ruling and dominating. Play His position for you by helping make this earth His footstool.

So, you're 5-years-old now, Ruby Jean! You have another year to keep running fast and fighting aggressively. And maybe this is the year the One who broke the mold when He made you, will take hold of you and give you something that's really worth running toward and fighting for!

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This Man

We're still celebrating the gift of this man today.

And I've gotten to love this man for 11 years now.

On Saturday, we got to hear this man speak at the Memorial Service for the thousands of babies who lost their lives at 4132 Schaefer in Dearborn during the 20 years the facility was in business until it closed in April of this year.

"No one ever spoke the way this man does," the guards replied [about Jesus]. (John 7:46)

And this man knows he is merely that Man's mouthpiece.

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A Father's Heart

I held it like it was you, that red crochet heart. It hung on my bed post reminding me you were out there, just not here. And how can a 7-year-old reconcile that?

Mom said you loved me and I wanted to believe her. But tears soaked my pillow many nights that second grade year, because if you loved me, where were you?

Sometimes a mom can love enough for a mom and a dad. She did. And she'd sit with me and tell me about you. Good things, actually. It made me smile to hear you were voted "Most Popular" by your eighth grade class. I thought it was cool that you sang in a high school rock band. And my friends now would laugh to know that you worked in your family owned bakery since there's little I hate more than baking. I'd replay those few facts I knew about you over and over in my mind acting like you were familiar and hoping that would change reality.

When I was brave, I'd look at the picture taken on one of the last visits I had with you when I was three. It's of us sitting in a bean bag, reading a book. I'd imagine what it would be like to feel your reassuring arm around me again. I couldn't remember and I knew a little girl needed a strong arm to steady her in this scary world. But all I really had was that red crochet heart you sent me one Valentine's Day.

And it's not just that we didn't have you, but it's who we got in your place. We got more heartache and pain. But when he was gone, Mom got Jesus, and we said you can have all this world - with families good and bad - as long as we could keep Him.

He never left us. Never hurt us. Never went back on His word. He was perfect. I know. I read it and couldn't pull my eyes off the page. I underlined over and over all of those promises He made to the fatherless. And I started to believe them. I started to believe I could trust Him. That I had found the perfect Dad. Or rather that He had heard and found me! "If [the fatherless] cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry." (Exodus 22:23) He rescued me and quieted me with His love just like I knew a Father's heart should.

And He keeps hearing. When I enrolled in a Christian college that was clearly unprepared to deal with me and my Gen-X baggage, and was harassed by my admissions counselor because I couldn't provide your address or any information about you, I cried out and He heard. Then in Freshman Orientation when the Vice President piled up statistics about being doomed to repeat the cycle of dysfunction if you were from a broken home like I could be scared out of sinning but would always be a second class Christian, I cried out and He heard. And when a girl in my dorm approached me like I was wearing a scarlet letter and said, "Do [the young man's] parents know he's dating you? I mean, my dad would never let me date someone from your kind of background," I cried out and He heard. And when I pulled out my birth certificate a couple months ago and saw the line under "Father's Name" staring back at me blank and bare like I didn't even have one, I cried out wondering how my heart could buckle so quickly under the weight of something that's empty, and He heard.

The thing about the past is that it doesn't stay put. It comes with you and you have to keep dealing with it. That's something we have in common, right? But because Jesus has dealt with it, we can too.

A few years ago when we talked for the first time in over thirty years, I told you like I've indicated here, that our life was hard without you, but that I didn't have grievances to air, only a message of hope and forgiveness to share. And that's the case today.

And even though you still say you want to talk soon but have fallen short again, I understand and so does Adam. He fell first and dads and moms have been doing the same thing ever since.

Even though at one time I wanted more than anything to be known as your daughter, to have my last name be yours, I've found security in a Heavenly Father who has demonstrated His heart of love for me in this, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. And my acceptance into His family doesn't require a certain pedigree or family heritage. He doesn't require a specific bloodline because His love for me and you is based on the precious blood of His Son, who by the way knows a little about being born into the shame of scandal. I guess I'm in good company, after all.

Stella's question caught me off guard earlier this week as we were picking out a Father's Day card for Matt. She asked if I was getting a card for you. I never have, but maybe this can be it. And maybe you and others like us will read it. So, from a daughter's heart that has been radically changed by the overwhelming love of her Father, let me show you His heart. He loves reckless sinners with a reckless, profuse love. Our wild living is no match for His forgiveness. In fact, He meets our sin with extravagant grace. I know because I've experienced it!

“[W]hile [I] was still a long way off, [my] father saw [me] and was filled with compassion for [me]; he ran to [me], [and] threw his arms around [me] and kissed [me].
“[He] said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on h[er]. Put a ring on h[er] finger and sandals on h[er] feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this [daughter] of mine was dead and is alive again; [s]he was lost and is found.’ So [we] began to celebrate." (Luke 15:20, 22-24)

The Father's looking for you too, ready to open His heart of compassion and arms of love and meet you where you are. There's nothing more I pray for you this Father's Day than for you to know Him. I can imagine Father's Day is difficult for you. But this one can be different. It can be filled with the joy of new life, a changed heart, repentance, and restoration! And so, tomorrow I wish you, Dad, a Father's Day worth celebrating!

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A Statement of Faith for a Step of Faith

"Our home is a home where hope in Jesus is realized in an atmosphere echoing the grace and love we've received from Him. We aren't perfect, but Jesus is, so we look to Him long and often through His Word and find what we need to get through life in this fallen world. We are happy, not because of all we've seen and done, but because of all Jesus has done for us. We are satisfied and secure, not because we have everything we want, but because He has provided everything we need. We believe there is no greater gift we can give our children than dazzling them with the good news of Jesus and living our lives basking in that good news too."

We recently wrote a Statement of Faith for our family, excerpted in part above. It was another means for us to preach the gospel to ourselves and remember the gospel isn't just a doorway we walk through when we first believe, but the pathway on which we continue each step of our spiritual journey. What we believe about the Bible and Jesus really is connected to all of life. To put it in familiar terms, our doctrine effects our deportment and our creed our conduct.

And we'll need to keep remembering that these next months as our family takes a step of faith, asking Him to bring another baby into this imperfect but always-receiving-better-than-we-deserve home through the means of adoption. We welcome a new little one to see the Savior we worship and exalt. We long to lavish heartfelt love on a child because our Father has loved us just like He loves Jesus and has made us joint-heirs with Him. Our blessed position continually humbles us and has compelled us to respond to the great love He has poured out in our hearts. We have much to learn as we walk this often unpredictable path. Already our illusions of parental control are being shattered. We are resting in God who has always been the one sovereignly placing just the right children in our home with certain dispositions, skills, propensities toward particular sins, and each uniquely bearing His glorious image.

Like the times we've received the positive sign on a pregnancy test, we've again received a positive indicator. This time, though, from an agency stating our informal and formal online applications have been received and accepted, and our paperwork is being processed for their Domestic Infant Adoption Program.

So, we are expecting...expecting God to glorify Himself in our hearts, our extended family, our church, our community of friends, and in the life of the baby whom we cannot wait to give our love, our name, and the investment of our lives. Will you consider laboring with us to deliver this little one into our family?

"My soul, wait only on God; for my expectation is from him." (Psalm 62:5)

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This is probably the only adoption related post we will blog about here. We are establising a separate webpage for our adoption process where updates will be posted as well as fundraising opportunities. We'll let you know when that page is complete!

 

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These Four Walls

It's a fitting end to our homeschool year. I just got off the phone with the mom of one of Stella's unsaved friends from soccer. She invited us over for a playdate. That phone call was fruit of our feeble attempts to reach out. Well, actually more like Stella's efforts reaching out. She would lie awake at night last fall burdened for her friend on her soccer team who didn't know Jesus. She'd pray for her. And at the end of the season she wanted to invite her to church. So I helped her write out our church information on a slip of paper so she could give it to her. Then this spring soccer season, Matt and I followed Stella's lead and tried to get to know her mom and dad better.

It's funny because this whole homeschool thing from our perspective has never been so much about being within these four walls of our home. I know I can wrongly think these four walls are a fortress of protection against the world and if I can just inculcate our kids enough and micromanage their influences they will be safe from worldliness. But with one angry word and selfish action I see their hearts and remember that the world is in there, not out there. And there's no wall big enough to save them from themselves. There's no mom wise enough and no dad strong enough to dominate their rebel hearts into submission. But "if they are among those whom God has chosen for eternal life, Jesus will have them as His subjects." (Starr Meade) So it's not about my kingdom on Keppen. It's about King Jesus' kingdom and how we fit into His reign.

And I'm preaching this to myself over and over and over. Because how can I hold these dear ones loosely when all I want to do is hold them closely? How can I convince myself they've never really been mine, but His to steward, when with each step they take away from me I have to restrain myself from chasing them down and bringing them back near? How can I give them life and then gladly lay down my life for them? This task of mothering is for women of steel and I'm just weak and vulnerable.

When I'm about to be overcome with grief and give way to the crisis of my identity, I remember a Father who saw His Son walk away from Him for the promise of something better. The covenant conversation from Isaiah 53 between God the Father and God the Son comforts me. "If you give your soul as an offering for sin, I will give you a people." So it pleased the Father to let Him go. It satisfied Him to see His Son suffer among the transgressors because of what it was accomplishing - bringing many more sons and daughters to glory.

I'm reminded God doesn't ask anything of me He hasn't already done for me. Perfect obedience positionally and grace to obey practically are mine. So I can let them grow and go because He's in control of them, working His own good purposes to expand His kingdom. And ultimately, I really do want them to follow Him, not me. I want them to hear His voice, and for it to be more familiar and precious than mine. I want them to come to know His gentle arms when they need comforted and trust His strong hand when they're used to reaching up for mine.

A wise woman builds her house. But she's wiser still if she remembers the four walls of it are but a small part of the much bigger kingdom He is building.

 

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Living in Community

Means crumbs in your couch and satisfied souls! For the record, the latter is definitely worth the clean up of the former. Now just remind me of that during the five o'clock mad dash as we get ready for groups! :)

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New Friday Night Tradition...

Camping out in Schaeffer's room!

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I Thought I Was Safe

Last week I enjoyed laughing at the comical ways Stella's peers described their moms and thought since I'm the teacher I was safe from those embarrassing exposures. Then Sunday came. Stella's Sunday school teacher had her class fill out one of those handy dandy questionnaires about their moms.

Apparently my favorite thing to wear is the same clothes for two days. I guess even MORE laundry is in my future now!

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The Day After

So what happens the day after Mother's Day when another hurdle has been jumped but your brave heart has melted and the hurt is still there and your arms are still empty? And not only are your arms empty but maybe that finger on your left hand is too. And it has been for too long. And you can't get away from mothers and fathers and doctors killing babies when you just want yours. And husbands and wives fighting and belittling and divorcing when you just want someone to love you and love back.

Cry. Yes, go ahead and keep crying. Let the tears roll into His sovereign bottle. And as you cry, remember Jesus cried too. Stella asked me why Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb when He knew He was going to raise him back to life. And with a quivering heart I told her that tears streamed down Jesus' face because He saw the effects of sin and the misery of the world He had created to be happy and holy. He saw the sorrow and loneliness of His infinitely loved friends burdened with the knowledge of good and evil when all He wanted them to know was good. And with the authority of God Himself who knew what it had been, and with the experience of humanity who saw what it is, every wet salty drop down His face was screaming, "This isn't the way it's supposed to be!"

Now let His tear-filled eyes meet yours. Now hear His life tell you it won't always be this way because He died to make it better. And let Him wipe away your tears with promises of a world to come where all you'll know is good again. None of this evil, hurt, and injustice. Then pack up those promises and load your arms and fingers full of hope. And carry those mercies around with you in this miserable world. And hold them close. And never forget them. Let His love surround you - underneath you, all around you. He loves you back because He loved you first. And most. And enough.

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Stirring Soup in the Spotlight

It has been said that being a mom is a thankless job. Days are spent doing things no one notices. The paparazzi's not hiding in our bushes to snap pictures of us unloading our screaming kids from the van. No one is dying to interview us on our latest bedtime routine, hoping this one will keep them in bed at night. There are no Yahoo! headlines spotlighting a mom who picks up the same toys 20 times a day only to have them thrown all over the house another 20 times that same day. Nor is there a newspaper spread featuring a mother elated over the rare pleasure of finding all the matching socks as she folds her laundry.

Our hearts crave the spotlight and the feeling that we're doing something significant, something that really matters. When these desires aren't met, we are tempted to grow embittered about or weary of our tasks, doing them half-heartedly or not at all. Our focus wanders from what we should be doing to what we think is worthwhile and will satisfy our desires for joy.

Maybe you're a nurse and the weariness of ungrateful and sometimes belligerent patients wears you down to the point that you wonder if the money is even worth it. Maybe you are a teacher and are tired of disrespectful students and blame-shifting parents who take the fun out of a job you used to enjoy. The particulars might be different, but regardless of our set of duties, our struggles are the same.

One morning as we were working through a catechism focusing on Jesus' humiliation and exaltation, I asked the girls to name some ways Jesus showed humility during His time on earth. Ruby responded, "When He fed people." It took a minute for me to grasp the profundity of her response. She got it absolutely right! I never thought of His providing meals for people as an act of humble service. He had heavenly priorities and although He needed to eat too, He could have seen their request for food as an inconvenience to the more important things He was trying to accomplish. But He didn't. He used this basic necessity to serve them and teach them.

I chuckled to myself as this image popped into my head:

I have felt like this on many occasions, especially when I'm engrossed in a project or task and know the clock is marching on toward that hour when all chaos will break loose if I don't have food ready for the savages formerly known as my children. So, I begrudgingly pull myself away from what I really want to be doing to do what they need me do.

But since Ruby made that convicting comment, I have found new significance in doing the many mundane tasks required of me. Not because the tasks in and of themselves have gotten more joyful, but because I have been more aware of Jesus' service for us.

He ministered in relative obscurity for thirty years. When few were looking or aware, He was accomplishing things of eternal significance - like securing our salvation! He was busy fulfilling all righteousness for those He came to save. So much for judging the significance of my work by what is noticed or unnoticed. There is One who is always watching and His audience is the one that matters most.

And then with the inauguration of His public ministry, when more people were aware of this Jesus of Nazareth, we still find Him meeting people's most basic needs - like eating, walking, drinking, and seeing. He even took time to invite the little ones near. I have often been challenged by the King of Heaven's kindess to the children! He didn't see them as interrupting His more majestic plans. They were His plan then just like they are His plan for me now. So I have taken time to kiss that 15th skinned knee of the day and look into those tear-filled eyes to let them know I care (and to tell them to shake it off, if need be!). Because if He had time, I certainly have time.

And those patient deeds of love and service weren't merely decorative details to the story of redemption. They were a significant part of His accomplishing all He came to do. As John states, referring to the many acts of Jesus recounted in his gospel, "[T]hese are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." (John 20:31)

As we follow Jesus' footsteps, we too learn to embrace the reality that the path is before the crown. But the fact that a reward is coming helps us serve like it helped Him endure. So for the joy set before us, let's stir that soup on the stove, sweep up those multiplying crumbs, wash and fold (and even put away!) those mounds of laundry. The reward for our humble labors will not be lost! Even all those bottles and sippy cups we fill and refill for our kids as service to Him will be rewarded! (Matthew 10:42)

Our selfless obedience shines light on God's great character, in a similar way Jesus' did. So like Him, we can use our humble stage to spotlight the One who deserves all glory and honor and power and blessing for ever and ever! Meanwhile, an amazing thing is sure to happen. As He receives the glory, we will find satisfaction in performing even the most menial task. It's the way He made us. Living for His glory really does result in our greatest joy!

Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28) And who am I to think this servant is greater than her Master? (John 13:16)

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BEAST MODE!

Ruby getting some pre-game soccer coaching from her Dad

 

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Unremarkably Remarkable

Photo Credit: Zachery David Photography

We knew what we'd name you long before we saw you. Your name waited for you. But on that rainy December day leaving our ultrasound appointment, we pulled it out of our hearts and said it right to yours.

Joel Schaeffer Owen.

Every time I see it, I am reminded that we indeed gave you a good name. Not good, as in tasteful (although we think it's that too), but good as in respectable.

"A good name is more desirable than great riches." (Proverbs 22:1)

It's packed with three-generations of pastoral punch, the legacy of a Christian theologian and philosopher who convinced your Dad God is There and He is Not Silent, and the testimony of one of the most remarkable men we've called Pastor.

On your first birthday I reminded you of true greatness - being last and least like Jesus - evidenced in a story about Francis Schaeffer. On your third birthday, I want to tell you of a man who hasn't written any books or started any international ministries, but who has humbly served God in the same local church for nearly twenty-five years.

In 1988, Joel and Nancy, along with their energetic Matthew Joel and pig-tailed Jennifer Elizabeth, moved to the little town of Cambridge, Ohio. Joel had completed his Master of Divinity degree some years earlier and was serving as an elder at Mt. Calvary Baptist Church, ministering to souls for free, and painting walls during the day to pay the bills. They heard of a small, struggling congregation in Southeastern Ohio. After visiting and interviewing, Joel took the offer of Pastor at Cambridge Bible Church, not even knowing what salary the church would be able to pay him. You see, Schaeffer, he had a message to share that meant more than money. He had a God to follow he knew would meet his needs. That God had encouraged him, in a similar way He encouraged a lowly shepherd, but soon to be king, named David. “I took you from the pasture and from following the flock to be ruler over my people Israel.” (2 Samuel 7:8) Joel took comfort in that verse because he saw God could take anyone – even an unremarkable shepherd – and use that person for His remarkable purposes. So Joel humbly reminded himself that all God would ask, He would provide.

It's no surprise, then, when the need arose to supplement his pastoral salary, Joel didn’t think he was too important to go out and get a job to support his family. When his son, Matt, was older, he had the privilege of working with him for several summers. Matt says he learned more about his dad and from his dad during those days spent working with him, than he learned in all their other time together. He learned that his dad was who he said he was. He learned a work ethic that didn't stop until lunch - even when others were taking breaks. Joel had a good testimony on the job and showed Matt how to live a life worthy of the gospel even when doing seemingly insignificant things like shoveling gravel.

The desire to humbly serve is what led Joel to persevere, even during circumstances like coming to church on a couple of occasions and absolutely no one else showing up. Whether pastoring a congregation of 10 or 90, Joel prepared his sermons the same way. He never prepared less or eased up because he thought it might not matter as much. At least outwardly, he never expressed frustration or voiced discontentment, and as a result, he did not lead his family into bitterness toward the ministry. In fact, just the opposite happened. Joel and Nancy instilled in Jenny and Matt a love for Christ and a love for the ministry. Joel evidenced that he was truly serving the Lord because he didn't get hung up on whether he was happy with the results or not. He knew he was not ultimately serving results or the satisfaction of feeling effective; he was serving Him.

Humble service was what lead Joel and Nancy to show mercy to the homeless drifters who would find the church listing in the yellow pages (actually their home phone number) and call asking for help. From putting gas in tanks, to giving rides to the bus station, to putting people up in a motel, to making meals or buying groceries, they helped people and expected nothing in return. Sometimes, the giving hurt. Like the time Joel helped a young family get back on their feet and get a job. He even went so far as to loan them money only to have them skip out of town a couple of months later without ever paying him back.

 

The desire to humbly serve the church is what still leads Joel to spend his evenings, Saturdays, and Sundays studying for the three to four messages he has delivered each week for over two decades. He doesn't have a hobby. Serving the flock of Cambridge Bible Church is his life.

So, Son, learn from this humble man, Joel, the same man you love to call Gampy, something Pastor Ken often says to us, "Faithfulness is success." Don't be drawn away by sights that dazzle, crowds that might applaud, your name in lights, or on the cover of a book. The gospel ministry, whether vocationally or not, requires your putting your hand to the plow and not looking back. It involves your setting your face like flint and not looking to the right nor to the left. Because the gospel is a treasure, entrusted to fragile and common flesh and blood, so that unremarkable Joel, and you, his unremarkable namesake, might show that the remarkable power of faithful and humble service is from God.

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Much of the biographical information shared in this post is reworked from a speech Matt gave at his mom and dad's "20th Anniversary of Ministry" in 2008. But we're not the only ones who think this way about Dad. Read more here.

 

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Even Schaeffer Knows...

Not all jelly beans are created equal!

 

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The Best of Boys

In September of 2010, I went to my first True Woman Conference. There was at least one male attendee among the hundreds of women there. His name was Joel Schaeffer Owen and, the four month old bundle of baby boy, was with me.

I was still pretty overwhelmed at the fact of having a boy. There had been little question in my mind of how to train the girls early on, pointing them to the gospel first, but then to biblical femininity and striving to model it for them, although imperfectly, for sure. But, not growing up with a dad and not having any brothers, made me insecure about how to interact with a boy and how to train him in biblical masculinity. Matt was quick to comfort, assuring me a large part of that job was his, and we'd work together on it. But, of course, the boy would still be spending almost all of his time with me for at least 5 years so I still had some things to figure out.

By the end of the conference, ironically exclusively for women, my mind was at ease and I had confidence in a significant contribution I could have in raising our son. I realized one of the best thing I could do for him as his mom, was to embrace my womanhood for the glory of Christ. (Read here for exactly what I mean by that.) I needed to strive to manifest the wisdom of God's design in creating us differently, male and female. To show him we are purposefully intended to be different, so God could get all the glory for His brilliance in the created order. So I left committed, more than ever, to using my womanhood in an effort to display God's greatness before my son's eyes.

Now, almost three years later, I'm much more acclimated to most things boy. But, even still, I struggle. The other night I was asking Matt what is it about boys that make them act before thinking. Schaeffer's aggressive impulsiveness is such a mystery to me and I am constantly addressing it with him. I had an "Aha!" moment when Matt explained, "The good aspect of God making us like that is so we run toward the fight instead of away from it!" With images of Boston fresh on my mind, Matt's words made me worship God right then and there. There are so many facets to our amazing God! I just keep turning Him and observing Him from the different angles, displayed in His creating people and nature in general, and am constantly breath-taken!

"Keep showing me Yourself, Lord, through the husband and son you've placed in my life! I want to know more of You through the way You made them!"

A few days ago, Matt forwarded me a helpful (and beautiful) article on the topic of manhood. Another piece of the man-puzzle came together for me. (And they say we're the complicated ones! ;). The author describes, in even more detail, what I have been searching for in knowing how to interact with Schaeffer.

"[His mother is] suspicious of women who like to keep their boys in diapers, as it were. So she nudges Luke toward her husband. She buys them the same kinds of clothes. She admires Luke’s skill in hitting a ball, or painting, or building a tepee—whatever he sets his heart upon.

She becomes to him the best of girls, even when he doesn’t know he likes girls yet. She never ceases to be his mother and to command his respect, but she will also claim his duty as her protector. If the groceries are heavy, she asks him to handle them, knowing that eventually he will overmatch her in strength. When that day comes she’ll boast about it to her friends.

Her love for him is necessarily a love for his nature as a boy. One cannot say, “I love my terrier Whitey, but I wish he wouldn’t wag his tail.” She wants him to grow up to be a man whom a good woman would marry. She cannot encourage that by personal example. She encourages it rather by showing the love of a woman for her husband, regardless of the sparks that attend every union of the sexes. And she encourages it by expectation. She calls him to manhood by letting him practice being the man: as a mother teaches her son to “lead” her in a formal dance."

Everytime I read that excerpt I tear up. Partly because it is hard to let go of my growing boy. But partly because, since he has to grow, I desperately want him to grow to be the right kind of man. After pointing him to the gospel, the main way to help him to that end continues to be pretty straightforward. Be the woman God intended me to be and let him practice being - and by God's grace someday he'll actually become - the kind of godly man I'd want to marry. And, if I do say so myself, I have excellent taste in men.

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Real Men...

walk around the house with a fairy wand handy.

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