For Mom

to hold you over until you can get your email!!

Remembering and Giving Thanks on Ruby's First Birthday

"You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful." - James 5:11

This verse will forever be connected in my mind with our precious Ruby Jean. I do not know how many times I quoted it over the few years of losses and longing that led up to her arrival. I needed to remind myself of Gospel truths and the character of God as my faith was shaken and trust in Him was so weak. But God evidenced His mercifulness and compassion even in His patience with me. I took comfort in the purposes God had for Job, and knew that if God helped Job remain steadfast through all his unbelievable testing, He certainly would help me too by His grace.

It is our nature to be unthankful and forgetful. It's yet another evidence of our pride and self-centeredness instead of God-centeredness, I suppose. I have thought of the 10 lepers who Jesus mercifully healed as I thought about what this day a year ago meant to our family. Here's an excerpt from Luke 17:

11 On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. 12 And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance 13 and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” 14 When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. 15 Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice;16 and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. 17 Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”19 And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

In an effort not to waste the circumstances God sovereignly brings into our lives, today we turn back and praise God with a loud voice and fall on our faces and give thanks to Him! He was good in the taking and the giving. And although many dear friends and family have been called upon to endure harder and longer trials in this regard, this was one of the struggles God has given us stewardship of, and we glory in Him as we remember today His compassion and mercifulness to us through it. Thank you, Lord!

Happy birthday to our precious Ruby! We love you and pray that someday you will know and understand firsthand how great God is!

Stella on Proverbs 31 and knuckles

A few weeks ago at the grocery store Stella said,

"Mommy, why do we have to get food for our household?"

Mommy: "Because that's one way God has given us to take care of our family."

Stella: "So, do we have to get portions for our maidens?"

Yesterday Stella was talking about her knees. She looked at her hands and said,

"My fingers have knees too."

one of our wedding hymns from 7 years ago today

Woke up today praising the Lord again for giving me Matthew.

My step-dad sang this hymn at our wedding. It was our testimony then, and by God's grace, still is today. And, Lord willing, will be until death parts us. We DO hope to die shouting, "The Lord will provide!"

The Lord Will Provide

Though troubles assail,
And dangers affright;
Though friends should all fail,
And foes all unite,
Yet one thing secures us,
Whatever betide:
The Scripture assures us,
“The Lord will provide.”

The birds, without barn
Or storehouse, are fed;
From them let us learn
To trust for our bread;
His saints what is fitting
Shall ne’er be denied,
So long as ’tis written,
“The Lord will provide.”

His call we obey,
Like Abram of old,
Not knowing our way,
But faith makes us bold;
For though we are strangers,
We have a good Guide;
And trust in all dangers:
“The Lord will provide.”

When Satan appears
To stop up our path,
And fills us with fears,
We triumph by faith;
He cannot take from us,
Though oft he has tried,
The heart-cheering promise,
“The Lord will provide.”

He tells us we’re weak,
Our hope is in vain;
The good that we seek
We ne’er shall obtain;
But when such suggestions
Our faith thus have tried,
This answers all questions,
“The Lord will provide.”

No strength of our own,
Nor goodness we claim;
Our trust is all thrown
On Jesus’ dear name.
In this our strong tower
For safety we hide;
The Lord is our power,
“The Lord will provide.”

When life sinks apace,
And death is in view,
The word of His grace
Shall comfort us through;
Not fearing or doubting,
With Christ on our side,
We hope to die shouting,
“The Lord will provide.”

-John Newton, lyrics

You can listen to a recording by Matthew Smith, from his CD All I Owe by clicking here.

More Deep I'll Drink Above

"Every day we may see some new thing in Christ. His love hath neither brim nor bottom." -Samuel Rutherford

not to us but to Your name be glory - intentionally

it's june and when june rolls around i think of matt (even more than normal). i love my husband. our marriage turns 7 in just 13 days. God's giving me him is just another manifestation of His great grace in giving me so much better than i deserve. today i want to draw attention to God's work in his life. he's so good you know it's all of grace b/c we humans just aren't that good. so, praise the Lord for what He is doing in matthew, and in turn, how it's overflowing into my life and our home.

i love that when we got married he wanted us to be intentional about our ceremony - to intentionally decide how we would draw attention to God and carry that theme throughout with the singing, programs, etc. our theme verse was psm 115.1, "not to us, but to Your name be glory for Your steadfast love and faithfulness." there are many things stylistically and aesthetically i would change about our wedding if i had to plan it all over again. but i wouldn't change the focus of it. it wasn't the bride's day - it was God's day.

i love that when we eat out, whether it's hot dogs at coney island or the rare treat of steak and sea food at coach insignia, he tells God when we pray before eating how humbled we are and thankful for the abundant way He provides us w/ so much beyond our daily bread.

with that in mind, he regularly reminds us that the extras aren't needs and keeps before us that when we have to do w/o, we need to guard our hearts from loving the gifts better than the Giver. after all, even kobe beef is mud pies when compared to Christ.

i love that when we got our stimulus check he taught us that just because we had extra money, it didn't mean we had more to spend or even save, but more to give! and that's what we did. he even did a little video documentary after we gave to others to remind us and our kids that we give freely b/c we've been given so much through Christ.

i love that he asks me how he can do a better job applying passages of Scripture to his own life as he's studying and before he preaches/teaches on them. and i love how out of the blue he'll often ask me how he can be a better husband to me and father to our girls.

i love that he fixed our front door last week even though he really didn't have time to and probably would've rather done something to serve himself instead of his family. that's just one example of the multiple times every day/week he puts us before himself.

i love loving what he loves...from buffalo wings (who ever would've thought i would like those?) to basketball.

i love that he loves books and puts himself on a reading schedule even though he's not in school right now. i marvel that he can read a book a week and although i'm a slower reader, his example spurs me on!

i love that he makes me laugh. he says he married me b/c i would laugh at his jokes and he was always guaranteed an audience. :) although after 7 years i'm more familiar w/ his material, i still laugh at it. he used to tell me it would stop being funny, but honey, i'm still loving your humor! :) and maybe, just maybe, i'm even getting a little funnier after living w/ him! :) a girl can dream, right?

i love that God is his life - not me, not his daughters, not even his iphone. :) he wants to live radically for the Gospel and what this means for us now is just living the radical Gospel message in the sphere of influence where God has placed us. he talks about dying for the Gospel and living for the Gospel and it's good for me to hear. after all, this world isn't our home, and even this happy, happy home isn't really our home.

we are created for something bigger and something even better. and so, matthew, most of all, i love you for helping me see beyond you to Jesus, my heavenly bridegroom. our wonderful marriage is just a foretaste of that perfect union we'll one day have with Him!

so happy 7 years, babe. i'd marry you all over again in a heartbeat!