on your 30th birthday

looking back - all you have known is grace. 

looking ahead - your future in Christ is sure. 

praising God for giving you Jesus and what that has meant for you the past 30 years and means for you still in the years yet to come! 

happy birthday!!!

i love you so much! 

spooning

ruby is learning to use a spoon - with her oatmeal at least. and stelly is attempting to feed her her yogurt. needless to say, ruby needed bathed by the time stella was done. :) it's the thought that counts.

so sweet - for four years and counting

nothing could prepare us for the way our lives changed 4 years ago today when we first laid eyes on you. you were beautiful. and from the beginning you were as sweet as could be. i would say sweet to the core, but that doesn't match up with our theology. still, on that side of depravity, you're pretty much as sweet as they come.

we're entering a new phase with you. your maturing is obvious. the thoughts you're thinking, the words you're using, the observations you're making and the way you're assimilating truth tell us so much. it's hard to see our little girl growing but exciting to embrace all at the same time. you're so eager to learn. we love all the teaching opportunities we get with you in both the unique and common circumstances of life. they are opportunities to teach you about the gospel and a christian worldview. because as sweet as you are, it's still not sweet enough.

so we'll continue to point you to the One who is all that you need - and we need. And while we do it, we'll thank Him for each day that we have with you, our sweet girl. happy 4th birthday, stella grace!

For Mom

to hold you over until you can get your email!!

Remembering and Giving Thanks on Ruby's First Birthday

"You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful." - James 5:11

This verse will forever be connected in my mind with our precious Ruby Jean. I do not know how many times I quoted it over the few years of losses and longing that led up to her arrival. I needed to remind myself of Gospel truths and the character of God as my faith was shaken and trust in Him was so weak. But God evidenced His mercifulness and compassion even in His patience with me. I took comfort in the purposes God had for Job, and knew that if God helped Job remain steadfast through all his unbelievable testing, He certainly would help me too by His grace.

It is our nature to be unthankful and forgetful. It's yet another evidence of our pride and self-centeredness instead of God-centeredness, I suppose. I have thought of the 10 lepers who Jesus mercifully healed as I thought about what this day a year ago meant to our family. Here's an excerpt from Luke 17:

11 On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. 12 And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance 13 and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” 14 When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. 15 Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice;16 and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. 17 Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”19 And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

In an effort not to waste the circumstances God sovereignly brings into our lives, today we turn back and praise God with a loud voice and fall on our faces and give thanks to Him! He was good in the taking and the giving. And although many dear friends and family have been called upon to endure harder and longer trials in this regard, this was one of the struggles God has given us stewardship of, and we glory in Him as we remember today His compassion and mercifulness to us through it. Thank you, Lord!

Happy birthday to our precious Ruby! We love you and pray that someday you will know and understand firsthand how great God is!

Stella on Proverbs 31 and knuckles

A few weeks ago at the grocery store Stella said,

"Mommy, why do we have to get food for our household?"

Mommy: "Because that's one way God has given us to take care of our family."

Stella: "So, do we have to get portions for our maidens?"

Yesterday Stella was talking about her knees. She looked at her hands and said,

"My fingers have knees too."

one of our wedding hymns from 7 years ago today

Woke up today praising the Lord again for giving me Matthew.

My step-dad sang this hymn at our wedding. It was our testimony then, and by God's grace, still is today. And, Lord willing, will be until death parts us. We DO hope to die shouting, "The Lord will provide!"

The Lord Will Provide

Though troubles assail,
And dangers affright;
Though friends should all fail,
And foes all unite,
Yet one thing secures us,
Whatever betide:
The Scripture assures us,
“The Lord will provide.”

The birds, without barn
Or storehouse, are fed;
From them let us learn
To trust for our bread;
His saints what is fitting
Shall ne’er be denied,
So long as ’tis written,
“The Lord will provide.”

His call we obey,
Like Abram of old,
Not knowing our way,
But faith makes us bold;
For though we are strangers,
We have a good Guide;
And trust in all dangers:
“The Lord will provide.”

When Satan appears
To stop up our path,
And fills us with fears,
We triumph by faith;
He cannot take from us,
Though oft he has tried,
The heart-cheering promise,
“The Lord will provide.”

He tells us we’re weak,
Our hope is in vain;
The good that we seek
We ne’er shall obtain;
But when such suggestions
Our faith thus have tried,
This answers all questions,
“The Lord will provide.”

No strength of our own,
Nor goodness we claim;
Our trust is all thrown
On Jesus’ dear name.
In this our strong tower
For safety we hide;
The Lord is our power,
“The Lord will provide.”

When life sinks apace,
And death is in view,
The word of His grace
Shall comfort us through;
Not fearing or doubting,
With Christ on our side,
We hope to die shouting,
“The Lord will provide.”

-John Newton, lyrics

You can listen to a recording by Matthew Smith, from his CD All I Owe by clicking here.

More Deep I'll Drink Above

"Every day we may see some new thing in Christ. His love hath neither brim nor bottom." -Samuel Rutherford

not to us but to Your name be glory - intentionally

it's june and when june rolls around i think of matt (even more than normal). i love my husband. our marriage turns 7 in just 13 days. God's giving me him is just another manifestation of His great grace in giving me so much better than i deserve. today i want to draw attention to God's work in his life. he's so good you know it's all of grace b/c we humans just aren't that good. so, praise the Lord for what He is doing in matthew, and in turn, how it's overflowing into my life and our home.

i love that when we got married he wanted us to be intentional about our ceremony - to intentionally decide how we would draw attention to God and carry that theme throughout with the singing, programs, etc. our theme verse was psm 115.1, "not to us, but to Your name be glory for Your steadfast love and faithfulness." there are many things stylistically and aesthetically i would change about our wedding if i had to plan it all over again. but i wouldn't change the focus of it. it wasn't the bride's day - it was God's day.

i love that when we eat out, whether it's hot dogs at coney island or the rare treat of steak and sea food at coach insignia, he tells God when we pray before eating how humbled we are and thankful for the abundant way He provides us w/ so much beyond our daily bread.

with that in mind, he regularly reminds us that the extras aren't needs and keeps before us that when we have to do w/o, we need to guard our hearts from loving the gifts better than the Giver. after all, even kobe beef is mud pies when compared to Christ.

i love that when we got our stimulus check he taught us that just because we had extra money, it didn't mean we had more to spend or even save, but more to give! and that's what we did. he even did a little video documentary after we gave to others to remind us and our kids that we give freely b/c we've been given so much through Christ.

i love that he asks me how he can do a better job applying passages of Scripture to his own life as he's studying and before he preaches/teaches on them. and i love how out of the blue he'll often ask me how he can be a better husband to me and father to our girls.

i love that he fixed our front door last week even though he really didn't have time to and probably would've rather done something to serve himself instead of his family. that's just one example of the multiple times every day/week he puts us before himself.

i love loving what he loves...from buffalo wings (who ever would've thought i would like those?) to basketball.

i love that he loves books and puts himself on a reading schedule even though he's not in school right now. i marvel that he can read a book a week and although i'm a slower reader, his example spurs me on!

i love that he makes me laugh. he says he married me b/c i would laugh at his jokes and he was always guaranteed an audience. :) although after 7 years i'm more familiar w/ his material, i still laugh at it. he used to tell me it would stop being funny, but honey, i'm still loving your humor! :) and maybe, just maybe, i'm even getting a little funnier after living w/ him! :) a girl can dream, right?

i love that God is his life - not me, not his daughters, not even his iphone. :) he wants to live radically for the Gospel and what this means for us now is just living the radical Gospel message in the sphere of influence where God has placed us. he talks about dying for the Gospel and living for the Gospel and it's good for me to hear. after all, this world isn't our home, and even this happy, happy home isn't really our home.

we are created for something bigger and something even better. and so, matthew, most of all, i love you for helping me see beyond you to Jesus, my heavenly bridegroom. our wonderful marriage is just a foretaste of that perfect union we'll one day have with Him!

so happy 7 years, babe. i'd marry you all over again in a heartbeat!

memorial day weekend

why is sissy such a late sleeper???

ammy with her girls

the 4 of us

so thankful to be a mommy!

33 and counting

today has been a day of blessings and surprises. God has blessed me with a wonderful, kind husband and thoughtful family and friends. the gospel is so far-reaching in giving us more than we deserve in every area of life.

i'm reminded today that i am perishing. not a very happy thought, but true, nonetheless. my outward self is wasting away day by day (2 cor 4.16). so today i wanted to finish listening to this challenge from carolyn mahaney to remind me of true beauty. i can't avoid crows-feet, spider veins, gray hair and all the other things that come w/ aging. but i can avoid allowing my inner self to waste away too. i don't lose heart as the years pass b/c i can have a beauty that never fades - the beauty of fearing the Lord (prov 31.30) and possessing a gentle and quiet spirit (I pet 3.4). so today, by God's grace, i purpose anew to use this next year of my life growing in an inner beauty that is very precious in His sight.

(no photos showing my crows feet and well-hidden gray hair (i guess some things can be avoided!) are available since i'm on a borrowed computer while mine is being worked on.)

hope in this life AND the next!

"If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead" (I Cor 15.19,20)

Jesus, is Lord! The tomb is gloriously empty! Not even death could crush this King of love! The price is paid, the chains are loosed and we're forgiven! And we can run into the arms of God!

they're growing up whether i like it or not

Since I've never been a scrapbooker, we've always used the blog as a baby book of sorts so we have record of our girls milestones and growth. With three trips to Ohio in March and just the general busyness of life, I am behind on tracking what my girls have been doing. This is what I could quickly think through in the past minutes:

Ruby at 9 months:
clapping
regular crawling (as opposed to the army crawling that stelly did)
pulling herself up
a lot of hair (enough for a whale spout)
learning to obey, although not w/ a happy heart
no teeth yet
very determined (knows what she wants and will stick w/ it until that goal is obtained or her goals are "redefined" by us)
very physical (doesn't enjoy just sitting and watching baby einstein - wants to be on the go)
strong (the day she was born the nurse was bathing her and said, "she is so strong!" that trend has definitely continued. for a little peanut, she is quite the brut (meant in the most feminine way possible, of course!)
waving
says ba-ba, ma-ma, and da-da


stelly at 3 1/2:
memorizing Scripture so quickly (not unique to her since most kids memorize quickly) but trying to pack in all i can and will allow God to "unpack" it in His time (this year we've learned portions of john 1, I cor 13, and are currently almost done w/ some of matthew 28 on the resurrection)
helper (setting table, making bed, cleaning up toys, throwing away diapers, quite detailed and organized in her cleaning - her dollhouse is neater than our real house)
growing into a good big sister (playing w/ ruby, reading to her, singing to her, helping her to obey)
still loves loves loves books
memorizing songs w/ mommy (Amazing Grace and Jesus, Thank You are the 2 most current)
knows books of Old and New Testaments (we both still struggle through the minor prophets though)
loves music and makes up words to classical music (love to hear how she doesn't compartmentalize her life - truths about God are mixed in with practical things like going potty, playing at the park and taking care of her dolls)
brushing her own teeth, dressing herself and putting her shoes on by herself (even the right feet now most of the time!)
loves doing school with mommy
into my little pony, playing kitchen, games, being a good mommy to her babies, and cinderella
sensitive little thing (quick to ask me to forgive her for wrongs and quick to ask me if I need to ask HER forgiveness for something)
has memorized 30 some questions in her catechism

I'm cherishing these days with my girls (most of the time, anyway!). They are precious gifts from God. Will never have this time again w/ them and pray that I will make the most use of this season of our lives for God's glory.

tubby fresh from the tub

she turned 9 months old on tuesday...as long as it took her to grow in my belly. have i mentioned how thankful we are for this good gift from God?! :)

do you love the church?

was listening to this message this AM since i was trying to provide some input for a friend who is speaking on the topic of serving in the church. back in 2004, this message helped me really get biblical roots for why i serve the Lord and start to get my mind around the concept that the local church is the center of what God is doing and how He's working in the world today. pastor doran rocked the topic to the glory of God!

we can have lots of good fun that is funny

today is dr. seuss' bday. this morning we made a trip to barnes and noble to do some extra dr. seuss reading and then this afternoon made our own cat's hat. i drew the line at having green eggs and ham for dinner. there can be too much of a good thing! :)

last week ruby turned 8 months old! we love our tubby and the way God made her. she is as assertive and opinionated as stelly is timid and sensitive. we love it and plead for wisdom as we train our very different girls!

her game's hardcore (in so many ways!)

her duty becoming her delight

a few months back after stelly very transparently informed me of her dislike for her sister, i knew i had to be more intentional about having their very different worlds intersect. so, at the beginning of this year i instituted a way i thought stelly could show love to ruby and try to condescend to and serve her then 6 month old ways. it has been exciting to see their relationship develop more, especially just within the past 2 weeks. stelly is really starting to enjoy rubes, and of course, ruby adores her big sister.
it brings my heart such joy hearing their little giggles in ruby's room when they play. this morning i walked in and saw this sight. it was so funny i had to get a picture of it. no, they aren't reenacting the wizard of oz...they're just playing under ruby's crib. a new favorite game. too funny.

as always, God used stelly's need for grace to convict me of my own need to grow in love for others. so, God is very patiently helping us sinners in the owen household learn to live together in peace.

valentine's days past and present

ruby at 7 1/2 months - feb 2009

stelly at 6 1/2 months - feb 2006 (she was so sick with the flu)

stelly with her cinderella sucker from ammy and appy

our thumbprint heart cards - so fun to make but...

after scrubbing our thumbs to death, they are STILL red!!

There was nothing wrong with it

This past week my grandpa, Jerry Neuhart, turned 72. I kept thinking about what God has done in his life over those decades. One story stuck out in my mind. It's a story evidencing forgiveness and grace and I kept praising the Lord for it through the tears of the week as grandpa's physical state declines.

My mom was pregnant with me and knew she wasn't going to marry my dad. As she talked to her dad about it, she expressed concern because she didn't know what my last name would be. My grandpa said, "Well, what's wrong with Neuhart?" That simple question showed grace and extended forgiveness after several months of a strained relationship with her. And that's what my last name was for 26 years and I was proud to have it.

Taken during our visit this past weekend

Me, my mom and gramps taken in the early 80s

tubby and cinderstelly

this is cinderstelly ready for the ball!

tubby (ruby's latest nickname from her crazy parents) is 7 months old!

Perseverance

Although I've posted this before, I was reminded of the truths of this great hymn after our worship service this morning from John 15.

The Love of Christ is Rich and Free

William Gadsby

Music: Sandra McCracken

The love of Christ is rich and free;
Fixed on His own eternally;
Nor earth, nor hell, can it remove;
Long as He lives, His own He’ll love.

His loving heart engaged to be
Their everlasting Surety;
’Twas love that took their cause in hand,
And love maintains it to the end.

Love cannot from its post withdraw;
Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law,
Can turn the Surety’s heart away;
He’ll love His own to endless day.

Love has redeemed His sheep with blood;
And love will bring them safe to God;
Love calls them all from death to life;
And love will finish all their strife.

He loves through every changing scene,
Nor aught from Him can Zion wean;
Not all the wanderings of her heart
Can make His love for her depart.

At death, beyond the grave, He’ll love;
In endless bliss, His own shall prove
The blazing glory of that love
Which never could from them remove.